thehefner: (Batman: I Am The Night)
Considering how universally-praised Grant Morrison's Batman comics are by all comics blogs and press, it feels incredibly refreshing to read Georgethecat's frustrated response to yet another Morrison fan's condescending attitude:


Like, I honestly don’t give a fuck about how much Grant Morrison knows about the Batverse. What I care about is a good story and a story that has a point. And I’m really not sure I saw one with this nor did it do anything, but raise more questions and plot holes. And what is the point of the book? Like what is Grant’s overall arching theme? And why did he do all this introduction and development of Kathy Kane to only drop it?

And who are these characters, the Orto Netz? Where did he come from? And I swear, if anyone reblogs this and says, “Oh he’s from Batman issue #217” I will actually hit something. Because fuck, I do NOT want crib notes to read my Goddamn comics. This is EXACTLY one of the biggest problems with comics right now. They desperately need new readers and need to draw in new people and reading almost any Bat-story by Morrison is going to confuse the fuck out of them, then they are going to ask questions and be told they should read some obscure fucking story that they don’t have access to and then they’re going to feel like it’s not worth their time because the club is too exclusive and they don’t know enough to join in on the Great Morrison circle jerk.



The bolded parts are mine, but the whole thing is just... god, when can they make an app that allows you to hug comments? I need that in general, but especially now. Granted, I haven't been reading Batman Inc., but George's comments apply to ALL of the other Batman work he's done so far.

I really wouldn't mind them so much if it weren't for the elitist snobbery of the fans, who love the way that Morrison makes them FEEL smart. That right there is about the smartest thing about Morrison's writing, which is generally rich with clever ideas and devoid of anything that makes for a good story.
thehefner: (Me: White Background)
Henchgirl and I saw this at the Safeway:





Okay, look, I understand the "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" stuff, I do. But "Team Bella"? She's not a team! She's the ball!

Eh, it's not worth worrying about. Not tonight, on this holiday's eve, which has somehow also become a holiday in its own right. It only today occurred to me how weird that was, as I realized that all the banks were closed. It's like how the college students in The Rules of Attraction throw a "Pre-Saturday-Night-Party Party."

Still, Henchgirl and I are getting into the spirit in our own way:





Now, in my defense... while the idea had certainly occurred to me while we were shopping for fake trees in the Target, it was my Henchgirl who suggested we actually do this.

Have I mentioned how supremely lucky I am to have found her? She actively encourages me to be as flagrantly geeky as I'd never allow myself to be in public. The decorations were her idea too. I love how the silver works on both sides. Really, all that's missing is a giant coin tree-topper.

Have a good one, folks. No matter what you do, no matter what you celebrate, stay safe and stay sane.




Well, at least until I pull together the Hugo Strange New Year's Eve post for [livejournal.com profile] about_faces. Funny how the next post in my series actually ties into the holiday. Go me, accidentally!
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Orange "Mine!")
Green Lantern: The Larfleeze Christmas Special was even more delightful than I could have expected.

I was so worried that Geoff Johns was going to beat the character into the ground, a fear reinforced by the fact even Larfleeze now apparently has to have aaaaaaaangst. But this issue was marvelous, a pure joy all around. I was already delighted when the issue opened with Larfleeze waking up on Christmas morning, appalled to discover that there were no presents left for him, that the soot in the chimney was undisturbed, and worst of all...

"The Christmas barter!" Larfleeze sneered. "The cookies we left out for the red-suited giant! The cookies are still here."

Which immediately gives way to...





So of course Henchgirl had to:





We were skeptical throughout. Henchgirl is a cookie goddess, and she wasn't sure how the hell they would turn out. We actually tasted the cookies without the icing, and they were okay, but definitely missing something. Then we applied the frosting, and it was like a Mandarin Orgasm.

These are seriously some of the best cookies I've ever had, right up there with Henchgirl's White Chocolate Macadamia Nuts Cookies of Death.

To hell with Darkseid. DIE FOR COOKIES. COOKIES IS ARE BE.

Psst: guess which part *I* helped with?





If you guessed "the incredibly failtacular attempt at home-made orange icing gel which resulted in a blobish mockery of the Orange Lantern symbol," then you're correct! ME AR HELPFL CHEF.

Poor thing. I simply have no choice but to put it out of its delicious, delicious misery while I try to help Larlfeeze out. I know he'd certainly want my assistance. And my wallet. And my house.





Seriously, Henchgirl is the best girl ever. I love her as much as Larfleeze loves stuff. It's no coincidence that Henchgirl and I frequently grip onto each other with a feverish, intense, "MINE." I know Larfleeze would be proud, even while he'd be using my credit card to buy eBay. All of eBay.
thehefner: (Batman: I Am The Night)
Note: I figure there are a couple people interested in the new Batman film here who also don't read [livejournal.com profile] about_faces, which is where I usually now post all my Bat-fan stuff. Just trying to make your skimming easier, my non-comic-reading friends!



So, a couple weeks ago, I finally started a fan project wherein I looked at every single appearance of Hugo Strange, Batman's first arch-nemesis and Moriarty equivalent.

In my first post, I expressed my belief that one of Hugo's most famous appearances--1990's Batman: Prey, by Doug Moench and Paul Gulacy, one of the best Batman stories ever--would make an absolutely perfect basis for Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises. Just pump up Catwoman's role as an origin, and boom, you have a great film that is pure Batman while not being in the shadow of Heath. Pure fantasy on my part, you understand. I figured and still do figure that Nolan wouldn't do that, because Prey and Hugo are just not well known to anyone but the most hardcore Bat-fans. Far as I know, I'm the only one to have this idea.

Literally days after I said that, rumors started popping up saying that Prey actually WILL be the basis for TDKR. In fact, aintitcool.com, which usually avoids most of the 99%-bogus sea of Bat-rumors, just ran a story today with a source claiming that it'll be Prey plus Clayface (wha? How the hell would that work? And Clayface? This guy is so rigid in his "realism" that he can't imagine using the frickin' Penguin, much less someone like Mr. Freeze! No way would he use Clayface unless it was original Basil Karlo without powers), which still sounds bogus to me.

But damn, this is nuts. Did I inadvertently start this rumor by someone reading that scans_daily post and spreading that idea around as truth? With s_d's readership of a couple thousand people, I suppose it's not beyond the realm of internet possibility. More likely, I probably wasn't the only one to remember that beloved but little-known (and long out-of-print!) storyline, and make the connection to Nolan's films. Or, just as likely, it's just a weird damn coincidence.

Tangent: Heh, Henchgirl's actually hoping that Hugo won't be in it. Not because she doesn't like Hugo, but because she fears it'll ruin the character in fandom, much like Spider-Man 2 ruined Doctor Octopus in fandom. Seriously, try to find anything about Otto, and it's all Movie!Otto. And while I absolutely adore Movie!Otto as one of the best takes on the character, these fans clearly have never and will never read a comic in their lives. You can't talk with them about anything, because the adapted version dominates and obliterates all stories that created it. It's very frustrating.

Either way, hopefully it'll encourage people to get interested in the character of Hugo Strange. If you'd like, please feel free to check out the three Hugo posts I've done so far on [livejournal.com profile] about_faces:

Part 1: The original Golden Age Hugo Strange trilogy, wherein his Moriarty influence is very apparent, and the character lays the foundation for subsequent villains like the Joker and Scarecrow later on.


Part 2: Hugo's return subplot in Strange Apparitions, one of the greatest Batman stories ever. It kills me that I had to edit out all the other great stuff from that whole story, including most of the Joker epic, "The Laughing Fish."


Part 3: the obscure Bronze Age classic, Interlude on Earth-Two, by Alan Brennert, a writer who I'm increasingly read to consider one of the best DC authors of all time, even though he only wrote nine stories, most of them just single issues. He deserves the Alan Moore treatment of getting a Complete DC Stories collection for tales like this one.


I have about seven more Hugo stories to come, particularly Prey. That's the greatest of those to come, but I have to work my way up, as every single Hugo story is directly influenced by the ones that preceded it. He's a character who seems to get dusted off and brought back only by the most hardcore, dedicated Batman writers, the ones who've read and clearly remembered his every single appearance, which I think speaks to what makes this character so great and essential to Batman.

So yeah. I don't think the Prey-for-Dark-Knight-Rises rumor is true, and I don't know if I'd want it to be. I've kind of liked Hugo as being a private joy shared by a handful of Batman fans and writers. But if they can do him justice, hell, maybe he'll finally get the status that geeks like me have known he's deserved for... well, seventy years.
thehefner: (Default)
Great news for movie lovers, bad news for their pocketbooks: all Criterion Collection DVDs 50% off at Barnes and Noble. I now actually have reason to go to B&N other than to kill an hour while waiting for a movie to start or a friend to arrive. Or, even better, I can just scour the entire Criterion catalog online and see what I want.

Massive filmgasm of movies I've already bought, movies I'm gonna buy, movies I'm waffling on buying, movies I'm tempted to buy sight unseen, out-of-print films I can't have, and the super-expensive box set of jaw-dropping erection-inducing awesomeness )

What about you guys? Will any of you be taking advantage of this sale? If so, take a look at the whole Criterion catalog and tell me which ones you'd want to own. Which films are so good or so precious to you that renting just isn't enough?
thehefner: (Simpsons: Walt Whitman)
GOOD WILL HUNTING simulator. Best movie-to-game ever?

This is probably the best chance as any to finally use this gif:





In similar news, Nathan Rabin--the very best writer on The AV Club--has decided to review every SIMPSONS episode ever, starting with the Christmas pilot. I'd long ago written that pilot off with the first season as nearly unwatchable, a rough curiosity at best but more notable for who it offended than any quality itself. But Rabin makes an extremely compelling and eloquent analysis for "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire," an episode I haven't seen in about ten years but remember vividly:

"The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" derives much of its pathos and humor from Homer’s thwarted attempts to be a good provider. Homer can’t afford a tree so he steals one from a lot. He’s humiliated by the indignity of life as an easily-agitated Santa impersonator, especially when he learns that after costume, training and Christmas fund charges he’s netted exactly thirteen dollars for his labors. There’s a heartbreaking moment when Homer looks at neighbor Ned Flanders’ elaborate Christmas display—a gaudy exercise in empty spectacle that seems to mock Homer's poverty—and simply hangs his head in shame.

Being a Christmas special, albeit of the warped variety, the first full-length episode of The Simpsons is unusually sentimental and nakedly emotional. At one point Homer tells Bart, “Sometimes your faith is all that keeps me going.” It’s a line at once jarring and deeply powerful, jarring because subsequent episodes suggest Bart has no faith, in his father or anything else, and deeply powerful because it’s so incongruously tender and vulnerable and sad.


Early on, Rabin recounts how he made Matt Groening deeply uncomfortable by admitting how THE SIMPSONS "had brought more joy and happiness into my life than anything else." What's weird is, pound for pound, when you consider just how much influence that show has had into pop culture as a whole, not to mention the years and years and years of quote-sharing and rousing renditions of "See My Vest"... I think that might hold true for me as well. THE SIMPSONS was one of the few constant joys for me during my darkest pre-teen, teenage, and college years.

When my old pal [livejournal.com profile] berkolounger--who I'm still waiting to see finally explode as a bold new talent in comics--did a web(tragi)comic about two brothers who can only communicate through SIMPSONS quotes, it definitely hit some personal notes, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

It seems strange, perhaps even a little sad to consider this, but I literally cannot imagine the kind of person I'd be if that show hadn't shaped my outlook and sense of humor (along with LOONEY TUNES, Mel Brooks, the Zucker Bros, and FREAKAZOID).

...

Oh hell, one more SIMPSONS gif that I won't be able to use anywhere else!


thehefner: (Venture Bros: Marvel Comics)
How the Mandarin could possibly work in IRON MAN 3, and why it's okay to hate Tony Stark. Even if you take out the Yellow Peril racefail issues, one still has to wonder how distinctly magical elements would jive after the first two IM movies.

If handled well, I could see it working. What better way to frustrate Tony Stark than with magic, something he has absolutely zero concept of understanding? It'd be like Waid's FANTASTIC FOUR Dr. Doom story, only, y'know, without ruining Dr. Doom. Of course, there's still the concerns of racefail. Which brings me to...



"Why I Won't Be Watching the THE LAST AIRBENDER movie," by Gene Luen Yang of AMERICAN BORN CHINESE. I've made it to the third season of the original Nickelodeon show, and I'm blown away by how great it is. Witty as hell, marvelously complex characters who have actual arcs, stunning action, and compelling storylines.

I haven't loved a cartoon like this since JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED, and I was already dreading to see it from the trailers, which seem to indicate that M. Night has sucked all of the fun and life out to turn it into a self-serious action epic. But that just clinches that I won't be seeing it at all.



Three Arguments We Could Be Having (about comics). Number two is most relevant to my recent post about the "Girlfriend Section" of the comic shop, but as a fan and writer, I'm most intrigued and thinky about number three: "What Are All These Superhero Comics Really Saying?" Because at their heart, you'd think the most they could be about would be the struggle of good vs. evil, but most comics don't seem to have anything to actually say about it.

It reminds me about one of the reasons Alan Moore dislikes BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE, because he--as I understand it--thinks all the themes and character and drama amounted to saying nothing of value that applied to anyone but Batman and the Joker. Many writers seem to feel this way, that superheroes can't be used to say something of literary value.

But while I have my own problems with TKJ, I have to disagree with Moore. I think stories like that say something about the human condition, and even if it's a flawed hypothesis, it's still one that can resonate and provoke thought and discussion. I believe in the power of superhero comics to do this, but I don't know how many fans and/or writers do, or if they'd even care.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
How do you like your "Hefleeze" now, [livejournal.com profile] benchilada?



Similarly, via [livejournal.com profile] mellifluous_ink: BREAKFAST CEREAL CORPS COLOR WAR. My favorite is Trix Rabbit as Larfleeze, although I sooner see Cap'n Crunch as Ganthet than a Rage Lantern (along with the original three chefs for Cinnamon Toast Crunch). But for the life of me, I can't think of any breakfast cereal mascot capable of rage. Well, other than Trix Rabbit finally snapping...

By the way, as I helped unpack the comic shop's shipment for tomorrow, I've read the new GL and BLACKEST NIGHT issues. Let me say right now, I bloody love Larfleeze. I hope he sticks around for awhile.
thehefner: (Two-Face: House of Cards)
I can actually find someone to have an epic discussion about adapting THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV with Batman characters, starting with the Robins onward.

I originally came up with the idea for THE BROTHERS ROBIN with [livejournal.com profile] surrealname back in college, even though he'd never actually read the book. Since then, I've been dying to find a Bat-fan who has! I just thank god I don't have the energy to actually write the fanfic, because let me tell you, it's now more tempting than ever!
thehefner: (Venture Bros: Boop)
Back to general nerdiness.

First, I should mention that I finally watched TRON last Friday for the express purpose of being able to watch the much-hyped trailer for TRON LEGACY, and holy sweet bejabbers, you folks weren't kidding. That is one sweet trailer. And maybe it's just me, but man, Bridges' delivery of "Not anymore" is downright goosebumps-inducing.

It actually made me like the film more than the film itself did, just to see Jeff Bridges' character seeming to take a bit of Obie Stane* to heart there. I hear tell that Flynn's apparently been in gameworld so long that he's gone full-on Col. Kurtz. Awesome. Between that and the prospect of more Boxleitner and that's one ticket fucking bought.

Man, Jeff Bridges is one of those actors who possesses the most double-edged kind of brilliance. He's so good that no one notices. He's just so natural, not showy at all. He deserves way more praise than he gets.




Now, for the main reason I called you all here today.

[livejournal.com profile] american_arcane posted this latest bit of utter and complete amazing awesomeness on his Facebook. To quote Ren Hoek: "I'M. SO. HAPPY!"



Full cast behind the cut, just so all the awesome surprises aren't spoiled )

I've always had a strange love for G.I. JOE, just because of the characters. How they all had such rich backstories and personalities. I adore them all, no matter what form they come in, be it the cheesy show, the legitimately far-better-than-you'd-ever-expect Marvel Comics by Larry Hama, epically brain-breaking three-part Fringe musicals, god I'm STILL recovering from COBRA: THE MUSICAL, PART III... heck, I'm seriously tempted to see the film, which is either awful or awesomely stupid, depending on who you ask.

Hell, I almost can't even consider it a parody. Of course Cobra Commander loves 70's boogie and would force Three Dog Night to reunite. The guy was a used car salesman, for god's sake! Seriously! It's canon and everything!




EDIT OF JUSTICE:



Now I can truly go to bed happy and fulfilled until the crushing disappointment that always sinks in not long after waking in the morning. Yay!!!





*I wish I could remember who it was that noted how Stane in IRON MAN was just the nicest Marvel villain ever. "Tony! How're you doing, buddy? Hey, I have pizza! YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY! Nah, I'm just kiddin'! Hey, lookit me, I got a Segway, wheeeeeeee! Hey, is that your heart? Mind if I FUCKING RIP IT OUT K TNX HAHAHA IS EVIL."
thehefner: (Two Face: A Lonely Place of Dying)
So how did I celebrate getting the Winnipeg Traffic Authority to forgive my $50 ticket for parking illegally on their ill-marked and confusing streets?

Why, by going to an awesome used book shop and blowing $100+ on old comics! )

So yes, a pretty awesome haul, all considered. Even the bad stuff has given me food for thought, which is the best one can hope for when it comes to bad stuff. If you've read any of the above, do post your own impressions and recommendations as to where to go from here!
thehefner: (Al Bundy: Shoot Me)
Holy hell, am I becoming one of those people who has so much shit going on in their lives that they just don't have time for LJ anymore? FUCK THAT.

I've also just been majorly stressed for Winnipeg. This will be the biggest Fringe yet, where I'll either make some actual money or I'll be totally lost in the shuffle. To make matters worse, I've been increasingly worried about how culture clash, and how certain themes or styles of humor may mean rather less to a Canadian audience. One reason Montreal was so difficult for me was that they don't have the same culture of arms-flailing neurotic introspective angst humor. Unlike, say, New York City, where I got great reviews.

The problem with being a niche performer is that you have to get comfortable with the reality of performing for people who will not get what you're doing, in real time. I'm still trying to get comfortable with that. All that matters is that I find the people who do get it, that I find my audience and work to improve for their tastes in a way that's most fulfilling to myself as an artist.

...

Oh hell, this is getting too angsty. Let's shift gears to outright nerd rage, shall we?




I can only respond to this image with the following gif:




...

...

AUGH.

I could explain context, but it really, really wouldn't help. I need to end this post on a much more positive note, with the original art from BOOK OF FATE # 4 (the misbegotten 90's-tastic idea to turn Dr. Fate into a gritty Lobo style antihero), by a guy named Ron Wagner. I've never seen his art anywhere else, and it's a damn shame. His work is sorta like of Trevor Von Eeden and Klaus Janson had a kid. But more to the point, he draws one of my favorite Harvey Dent images ever:



God, I love it.

I ain't much better, but it's a start.
thehefner: (Two-Face: Mounds! No Almond Joy!)
First off, GIP, courtesy of the amaaazing [livejournal.com profile] disc_sophist




ITEM: WEDNESDAY COMICS STILL LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING

Behold... the cover of WEDNESDAY COMICS, plus *tons* of previews of the bloody amazing comic book goodness it shall contain )

I'm so nervous that this is going to flop, though. Response from fans has been a lot of concern about the oversized format and the price, capped off with this report from a recent convention:

At Saturday’s DC Nation panel, editors Ian Sattler and Brian Cunningham provided fans with a first-ever look at a printed copy of “Wednesday Comics.” The weekly, star-studded, 16-page comic produced on massive newsprint pages, was described as one of the most unusual, impressive, projects in DC’s recent history, a “Kramer’s Ergot” #7 with superheroes.

But DC Nation, or at least the cross section attending the panel, showed more interest in the tedium of DC continuity. Not a single question was asked about “Wednesday Comics.”


DAMN IT, FANDOM. DON'T RUIN THIS FOR US.





ITEM: I DON'T WANT THE HAL JORDAN HATERS TO BE RIGHT, BUT, UH, IS HE ACTUALLY BEING A DICK HERE OR WHAT?


Holla at my GL flist buddies--particularly [livejournal.com profile] nymphgalatea, [livejournal.com profile] kali921, and [livejournal.com profile] kagome654--What think you of James Robinson's depiction of Hal in these preview pages of JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRY FOR JUSTICE # 1?

I mean, I've been a bit unimpressed by Geoff Johns' take on Hal, so this suddenly proactive take on Hal is rather cool. But is it in character? It definitely seems to be more in keeping with the Hal that Parallax exploited, but that Hal wasn't really in character in the first place.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, when you look at this page, do you think, "BADASS" or do you think, "Wow, what a dickhole"?

Judge for yourself )

On one hand, hey, awesome, he's actually showing off leadership capabilities, and it's keeping with someone who has crazy huge amounts of willpower! On the other hand, even Scott Summers might think Hal should cool it down a little.

I look forward to seeing how this storyline pans out. Either way, I want smart-ass fun-loving wise-cracking Hal Jordan back. My ideal Hal is like the bastard child of John Crichton and James T. Kirk with liberal dashes of Bruce Campbell thrown in for good measure.




ITEM: ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING PAGES FROM A GOLDEN AGE COMIC EVER

How Zatara brought peace to two warring kingdoms. )

... huh.

I can't even call crack on it, like Golden Age Wonder Woman, because damn, it actually seems damn well straightforward! So to speak.

And damn, Zatara is a sharp motherfucker. But then, he's the father of Zatanna, so he'd have to be. We need more dash and top hats in comics, says I.




FINAL ITEM: COMICS THAT MADE US CRY

The Robot 6 blog did a piece on "The 6 Comics That Made Us Cry," and folks have been responding with their favorites. For me, there have been several, but only one gets me choked up just thinking out it: the one-two punch of that issue of I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, when they find Ice in Hell.

First, when Guy Gardner, of all people, just keeps whispering, “Please come back, Tora. Please come back. Please come back.”

And second, at the end, when Bea and Guy hold each other, sobbing.

There was more genuine, heart-wrenching emotion in this silly comedic B-list superhero spin-off than in all of the INFINITE CRISIS titles going on at the same time. I’m getting misty just *thinking* about that issue.

What about you, folks? What comics have made you mist up or sob?
thehefner: (Batman: Rogues)
Speaking as...

1.) a comic geek, with a healthy fondness for Silver Age crackiness

2.) a lover of a certain brand of classic cartoons

and 3.) a fan of PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE back in the day

There are no words to describe the giddy delight aglow within me after watching this:



Yes, that's Paul Rubens as Bat-Mite doing a Dick-Sprang-flavored homage of THE GREAT PIGGY-BANK ROBBERY from an episode of BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD written by the modern master of Batman, the incomparable Paul Dini.

Let all that sink in your brain for a sec, lest your eyeballs to explode from an overdose of awesome.

You can watch the entire episode here, which I wholeheartedly recommend you do, but in case you need further persuading (really? You do? After all that?!), here's another magnificent highlight:



So much to love: Dini!Harley with Timm!Joker, alongside a Hank Venture's "The Bat" and a Kevin-Smith-based snotty Batman fan voicing concerns that even I foolishly shared once upon a time.

Between the almost-sacred status the 90's BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES has achieved in our eyes and the piece of crap that was the recent THE BATMAN cartoon, I too was hesitant about seeing a kid-friendly Batman cartoon. Well, not so much hesitant and apathetic. It clearly wasn't meant for *me*, so whatever.

Then [livejournal.com profile] leiacat started getting me to check out a couple episodes, as she was watching it but needed help with getting the references. And that's when I started to realize, holy shit, there are TONS of references. This show is downright riddled with classic DC geekery and goodness from every single era, almost more so than even B:TAS ever had! And when it's good, dear lord but it's fun, and frankly, we NEED more fun in DC Comics these days!

While the show's quality is on and off, with some less-stellar episodes out there that really do reflect the kiddie nature of the show, it's the episodes like the Green Lantern Corps team-up with Guy Gardner, G'Nort, and Sinestro, written by J.M. DeMatteis (!!!) and now this Bat-Mite episode...

Man, all we need now is to have Paul Rubens' Bat-Mite team up with Gilbert Gottfried's Mr. Mxyzptlk and have them adapt WORLD'S FUNNEST. But alas, I don't know if the world would ever be able to handle such a thing. It'd be like challenging Cthulhu to a staring contest, but in a good way.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Orange "Mine!")
I good and truly cannot understand how some people can be bitchy, complaining, and fanwanky about the upcoming GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT. Seriously, what's with these people?* Where's their sense of geek joy?

Like, take how DC is putting out full-page profiles on each of the Color Corps. Most recently, they featured the Orange Lanterns. Now, we knew the Oranges were driven by avarice and led by one in particular--Larfleeze, aka "Agent Orange"--but we didn't know what exactly made them stand out among the other Corps. Until now:



When this was posted over at scans_daily (the InsaneJournal version, which just isn't the same, damn it!), [livejournal.com profile] box_in_the_box summed up my feelings rather well:

Of COURSE the Orange Lantern Corps would be a ONE-man corps, because he wouldn't want to SHARE it with anyone else.

BRILLIANT. :)


It really, really is. It's shit like this which gets my geek heart giddy. This is a Grant-Morrison-level idea, but because it's being written by someone who actually gives a shit about characters as much as wacky ideas, it actually has the potential to be pulled off interestingly!!!

Box added, My only regret is that, if we can have Ruffles the Rage-Kitty, then Agent Orange SHOULD have been an anthropomorphic DUCK.

More to the point, a talking duck who speaks in a SCOTTISH accent, and wears SPATS.

COME ON! SCROOGE MCDUCK AS THE ORANGE LANTERN - YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE THIS, BITCHES.


Hell, I was saying that very thing! Scrooge, Gollum, and the FINDING NEMO seagulls (remember, the Orange Lantern(s/'s) main catch phrase? "MINE." No, really!), they all need to be Orange Lanterns. Even if it means they were killed and turned into avatars for Agent Orange.

In response to my quixotic plea for an LJ icon, [livejournal.com profile] endis_ni made this greatness:



While s_d's resident undisputed master of all things Wonder Woman, the great [livejournal.com profile] bluefall, made the magnificent icon you see here. She even made the other ones orange avatars! Brilliant touch!

But Mr. Box was not done with me yet:

Scrooge as a Green Lantern (yes, he's greedy as hell, but he also has hellacious willpower) versus Flintheart Glomgold as an Orange Lantern.

THEY WOULD TOTALLY BE LIKE HAL AND SINESTRO.

(Although imagining the Finding Nemo seagulls all wielding Orange Power Rings and saying, "MINE! MINE! MINE!" as they fly into battle? Is AWESOME.)


We then realized that, naturally, it follows that Donald Duck would be a Red Lantern, which certainly made me feel like a total shameful smarty-pants for thinking that no one could possibly have come up with something so unbelievably nerdy!

Which is when someone showed us this...



...

Dear god, but I love nerds.**

And for those who don't read comics, [livejournal.com profile] filbypott has kindly provided a simple go-to explanation of the various Corps' D&D alignments:

Red: Chaotic Evil
Orange: Neutral Evil
Yellow: Lawful Evil
Green: Lawful Neutral (the Guardians, at least, if not individual GLs)
Blue: Lawful Good
Indigo: Neutral Good
Violet: Chaotic Good


The question of whether or not the Black Lanterns could be Black Lanterns Chaotic Neutral is yet to be answered, but there you go.




*Like, okay, so "Willpower" and "Death" aren't really emotions. It's a valid point. Now shut up, stop nitpicking, and enjoy the awesomeness. Sheesh.

**Coincidentally, there were not one but TWO videos of Two-Face as a Sinestro Corpsman, but they're not worth posting here. By the way, [livejournal.com profile] suburbfabulous and [livejournal.com profile] tragical_mirth: in light (har) of the revelations that the Blue Lanterns' powers are dependent upon being in close proximity to a Green Lantern, I fear practicality must top symbolism. Therefore, I acquiesce: Harvey Dent's good side would be a Green--not Blue--Lantern.

And yet, I dunno... I'd think a half-blue, half-red costume would look snazzier than half-green, half-red. The latter would look like Christmas Two-Face, while the former would match my eyes!
thehefner: (SEXLEXIA)
When April Fool's Day backfires.

ThinkGeek jokingly offers a fake "Tauntaun Sleeping Bag" yesterday, discovers everyone really really wants one, and is now scrambling to figure out how to really make it real. Check out the red box on the right hand side.

It's the intestine-patterned lining that really seals the deal for me.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: New Frontier)
For the first time in a long, long while, I am extremely psyched for something coming out from DC Comics: WEDNESDAY COMICS.



According to Newsarama: "The concept is that we are trying to recapture the spirit, format, and sense of enjoyment that people had form reading the Sunday comics that arrive in newspapers every week," DC Sr VP and Executive Editor Dan DiDio explained to Newsarama. "So, for this 12 week period, we’re creating 16 weekly strips that will be presented in newspaper format, which will feature some of our primary characters, as well as some of the premiere creators in the business."



Comic gossip collumist Rich Johnston adds: This is just the brave, creative experiment that companies like DC should be taking and they are to be applauded for it. And with the likes of Kyle Baker on Hawkman, and Neil Gaiman and Mike Allred on Metamorpho. Adam and Joe Kubert on Sergeant Rock, Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso on Batman, Sean Galloway on Teen Titans, Joe Quinones on Green Lantern, Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner on Supergirl and Ben Caldwell on Wonder Woman, and John Arcudi, Lee Bermejo, Dave Bullock, Kurt Busiek, Dave Gibbons, Paul Pope, Ryan Sook, Walt Simonson… well, it’s one hell of a sell.

He's absolutely right, this is exactly what DC and Marvel should be doing. No more crossovers, no more huge events where "nothing will ever be the same again!," no more misguided attempts to reinvent the wheel... just pure, unadulterated superhero goodness that anyone can enjoy!

And what a breadth and variety of stories! Gaiman and Allred doing a presumably-fun METAMORPHO, Azz and Risso doing grim-and-gritty BATMAN, Kyle Baker channeling Hal Foster for HAWKMAN, old-fashioned war comics with the Kuberts on SGT. ROCK, Amanda Conner drawing anything, and particularly Kurt Busiek and Joe Quinones' brilliantly retro GREEN LANTERN...



I don't know if this is the future of DC Comics, but for the first time since I can remember, I don't think I'll wait for the trade paperback. I want to support this week in, week out, in the hopes that this will be but the first of many bold creative moves from DC (and will hopefully inspire Marvel to do the same).



EDIT: Even professional grumpypants Warren Ellis is excited about this, and posted so suspiciously right after I did, even though this has been news for several days now. He better not be stalking my LJ or anything awesome like that.
thehefner: (Two-Face: Harvey Behind Bars)
Remember back when I tried to start up a meme for who would be on your asskicking super-team, if you could assemble a group of anybody, fictional or real? Your ultimate dream team, ready to have quests in anywhere from Middle-Earth to the Uncharted Territories.

I still stand behind mine, if only so I could have Bill the Butcher duel (and then have a one-night-stand) with Kitty Pryde, show Oracle helping Bub the Zombie and Johnny Go disarm a bomb, and depict Doc Holiday eating nachos with Werner Herzog. They'd be good times, I tell you.

Well, it appears comic artist Sean Murphy has similar dreams, and has drawn up his own super-team of dream characters. Oh holy hell, it is a geeksplosion of dorktastic nerdery, in the very best way possible.

There are no words to describe the asskickery behind the cut. )

I'm behind every single choice here except for Wolverine and Gambit, just because the former is so overused and the latter is Gambit. But the inclusion of Henry Rollins and the Gray Motherfuckin' Ghost easily makes up for it.

Now if I could just him to draw up my super-team of Hal Jordan, Bill the Butcher, Kitty Pryde, Doc Holiday, Oracle, Harvey Dent, Maxwell Lord, Bub the Zombie, and Johnny Go, we'll be golden. But it's just as well, because the universe would clearly implode from the awesome.
thehefner: (Aquaman: Punching Narwals!)


I bet this would be even funnier if I watched MAD MEN, but it's still pretty goddamn great. Still, I am sad that they didn't reference the comics and just went straight for the movies, just because... well, even for the sake of comedy, there's no good reason to remind us all about Nuclear Man. There's a reason why no one at DC has ever tried to put him into the comics.

Bet Clancy Brown would have actually shaved his head for this bit...
thehefner: (Harvey Dent: Look Up)
Gonna try to be home by Monday. I'm heading North via the Appalachian trail route through such towns as the ones where THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW and DELIVERANCE were filmed. The full gamut of Appalachia culture, needless to say. So expect a more full report on life and whatnot next week, but for now, I had to post this before crashing for the night.

My eternal adoration to the ever-vigilant [livejournal.com profile] mirthical, who brought to my attention that someone finally, finally made this. Six months past its relevancy and freshness, but fuck it, at least now I can finally have this:



I'm not %100 satisfied with it, but after a couple hours of cropping and tinkering, fuck it, it'll do for now.

FYI, I think I'm gonna post the prologue of my Harvey Dent novel here sometime next week. Consider it a stand-alone bit and teaser trailer, ala how they screened the bank robbery opening of THE DARK KNIGHT as a trailer before I AM LEGEND.

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