thehefner: (Default)
Life these days is a series of situations that are all relatively easy to deal with on their own, or even two at a time, all coming at us at once. I'd post about them more, but I can't help but feel like it'd be a whole lotta complaining about stuff that we're already on top of combined with the stuff that's out of our control. So I'm going to cut this post with images of owls with stupid expressions on their faces, just to make it all go down easier.





For my part, I'm tired. More tired than I've ever been, more tired than I was trying to pick up the pieces after Dad's death. And that tiredness has made dealing with my everyday neuroses just that much harder. And I was never that good at handling them in the first place! But after yet disappointing another Fringe Festival (and like all the disappointing Festivals over the past year, there have been entirely logical reasons WHY they were disappointing, but that doesn't help my emotional state), AND the moving situation, I'm wiped out and not really looking forward to doing CapFringe and IndyFringe this year. I've never been one for regrets, but I do so wish that I could go back a year and plan this all out better.





As for that moving situation, we're currently living at the beach while the Cabin John house... my home... is on the market. It's been repainted and rearranged to the point that it's effectively no longer my home anymore. It looks depressingly like... like a NORMAL person's house! Ew! But we can't stay there, since it's on the market, thus we're in Delaware. This means that we'll have to drive a couple hours to the hospital once she goes into labor, which should be within, what, a week? Two weeks? More? Any day now? We're just waiting, and we have to wait here, because our actual home has to be clean and free of people. Hard for prospective buyers to impose their vision onto a property with a fanboy and a pregnant Henchgirl squatting in the living room.





We're staying at the new house Mom bought in Delaware, which will be our main base of operations once renovations are completed by early next year. We're by Broadkill Beach, near Slaughter Beach. I fucking love that. In reality, it's not so much the site of a boobtacular slasher film as much as the nation's site for Horseshoe Crab Orgies. So, almost as good, right? That almost makes up for the fact that we're going to be living in Delaware.





In truth, living at the regular house in Rehoboth Beach is great, as we adore that place. But unless you all come to see my show at CapFringe in a couple weeks, and bring your friends and family and pets in people costumes so that they can be charged as adults, that beach house will be my sole source of income. Did you know that we're still renting it out? Because we totally are still renting out the house in Rehoboth Beach!





I guess what it all comes down to is the fact that we have a lot to do, all of which costs a LOT of money and causes a lot of stress, onlt some of which might possibly make us some money in the process. What I'm saying is, if you want a piece of Hefner, you have options!

Want to own the house where Hefner lived? Well, you can! Want to just rent a house where Hefner lives? You can do that too! Want to rent Hefner himself for an evening (I mean, as a performer? I mean, as a non-sexual performer? I mean, to talk about himself for an hour with jokes and slides?) Here's your big chance! And if you still want a piece of Hefner's creativity but aren't able to travel, well, I'm finally starting to post the Harvey Dent novel, chapter by chapter. For those who've read it already, I've changed a lot and I'll be changing even more after the acid hits. It's gonna be a whole different story by that point, and with Henchgirl as my editor, I'm going to finally finish this for good.






That's about it for now. Back to life. Mine, hers, and the brand-new little one that's about to arrive. Any day/week/minute now.
thehefner: (Me: White Background)
We are now taking summer reservations for the house at Rehoboth Beach! HUZZAH! *throws confetti* It's not only makes for a great, private little getaway near the beach, but know that all proceeds will be going directly to the Help Pay For Hefner And Henchgirl's Baby Because Holy Crap Babies Are Expensive Fund.

WHERE IS IT EXACTLY? The house backs onto Cape Henlopen State Park and is on a dead end road away from the crowds. But it is just down the street from the outlets on Rt. 1 and minutes from the beaches.

WHAT'S THE HOUSE LIKE ITSELF? It has 3 bedrooms, a king bed in the master, a full bed in the second bedroom and a queen bed in the freestanding romantic cottage by the tidal creek, behind the house. There is also a love seat in the living room, which folds out to make a twin bed, and an ottoman which makes into another twin bed. There are 3 bathrooms. There are 2 full baths in the main house. The cottage has a sink and toilet off the bedroom and an outdoor shower adjacent to the bathroom door. There is a large screened porch in the back of the house overlooking the tidal Munchy Branch Creek.

HOW WELL-STOCKED IS IT? The kitchen is fully stocked with the usual pots and pans, dishes, utensils and appliances. There is a dining table and chairs along with lounger chairs on the porch. There is also a picnic table and a gas grill outside. There are unbrellas, chairs, coolers, etc in the shed for use by the renters. There are 2 basic adult bicycles in the shed.

AWESOME! IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I HAVE TO PROVIDE MYSELF? Yes. Renters provide their own bed linens and towels.

WHAT IS THERE TO DO IN THE AREA? Aside from tax-free shopping and beach fun, there in an awesome hiking /biking trail on the old railway line from Lewis to Rehoboth. The trail is very close to the house. I keep maps and brochures of things to do in the area at the house. This is a wonderfully diverse area with great things to do for all ages.

I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS AND/OR I AM READY TO SIGN ON TO THIS AMAZING DEAL. WHOM DO I CONTACT? Either me, or my mother, Roberta Hagen, at RHagen6902 at aol dot com, or by phone at 301-312-7247.
thehefner: (Me: White Background)
I'm offering my Rehoboth Beach house up for rent for this July 4th weekend--Friday through Monday--for $480 ($400 for me, $80 for the cleaning lady).

The house is off Route 1, right between Rehoboth and Lewes, if you know where that is. Essentially, it's a ten minute drive to the beach, nested in a secluded area which makes it an ideal private getaway. Thus why I love using it as a writer's retreat. It has a screen porch overlooking the tidal creek and Cape Henlopen State Park.

Plus, we have beach chairs, umbrellas, coolers, and 2 bicycles for use. We have 1 king bed,1 queen bed, 1 full bed, a pull out that makes into a twin bed and an ottoman that makes another twin. So plenty of room for a group! Let me know if you're interested.

If no one takes it, then Henchgirl and I will. She's never seen fireworks, and while I suspect the DC display would be a bit more dazzling, I'm sure the ones at Rehoboth Beach will look plenty awesome. Especially with a pint of Dogfish Head inside me.
thehefner: (Me: White Background)
After an absolutely amazing (and occasionally nerve-wracking) month and a half on the road, I shall finally be returning to DC next week... with a lot of memories, and a lot less money.

So, hey, in related news, I come with actual information regarding that Rehoboth Beach house I have for rent!

The weekly rate is $600 for a 7 day week Saturday to Saturday or Sunday to Sunday depending on how the schedule is working. Holiday weeks ie Memorial Day, July 4, and Labor Day the rates are $800 for the entire week. If we have gaps in the schedule after we have gotten the bulk of bookings (this will probably be in May) we'll consider doing a limited number of weekend only bookings for $250. I understand that this is actually a crazy good rate for rentals out there.

It's actually off Route 1, right between Rehoboth and Lewes, if you know where that is. Essentially, it's a ten minute drive to the beach, nested in a secluded area which makes it an ideal private getaway. Thus why I love using it as a writer's retreat. It has a screen porch overlooking the tidal creek and Cape Henlopen State Park. Plus, we have beach chairs, umbrellas, coolers, and 2 bicycles for use.

We have 1 king bed,1 queen bed, 1 full bed, a pull out that makes into a twin bed and an ottoman that makes another twin. So plenty of room for a group!

If you're interested in having a great getaway all while supporting a starving actor, please drop me an email at curseyourichards@gmail.com!

Now back to your regularly scheduled internetting and my regularly scheduled attempts to avoid getting killed by phantom hitchhikers on Route 66. See you all soon.

September 2012

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