thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)
Me, as a groomsman at [livejournal.com profile] themadhatter26's wedding:





Quoth [livejournal.com profile] ortugatay: "The Quintessential Hefner."

Would it help if said that I didn't actually bring those comics with me, but were rather lenders returned to me by the groom? No, probably not.

... still frustrated by how that series ended, damn it.
thehefner: (Me: White Background)
The first bald cap split. The second was too tight. The spirit gum was too old. As was the silver hair color. The claws' glue had dried in the bottle, and even though we bought nail fixative from CVS, there was no time before we went to take in the 10:00 screening of Nosterfatu at the AFI.

Nonetheless, people seemed rather pleased with how I turned out.





With the hair, I think I turned out more rat-like than vampire-like, but based on the fact that three different strangers wanted photos with me after the film, I'm guessing it was good enough. They said that I looked perfect, which--considering how much more makeup and prosthetics I wanted to use and had to go without--is the best kind of dubious compliment.

I wish I'd gotten a photo with Henchgirl as Snow White. She said that the pairing doesn't work at all, but I liked to think we met on "The PaleBook." I'm going to keep saying it until it's funny, damn it.
thehefner: (Scott and Barda are US SO SCHMOOPY)
thehefner: (Batman: Rogues)
At a strip mall in PA, at a store I won't name (it rhymes with Shmot Shmopic), while I was totally not listening to Lady Gaga on the store's awesome headphones, I saw a guy there who happened to have the Best Tattoos Ever.





He claimed to have the entire TAS Rogues Gallery on both his arms. You can see a bit of Penguin (in a cloud of money), plus I also saw Clayface, Scarecrow (the second version, who was in the most episodes), and a Mr. Freeze outline that had yet to be colored in.

If I hadn't been so shy, I'd have wanted to get shots of them all, but at least I got the one that was most important to me, as well as most of the Riddler, which is the second most important. Third would have been Hatter, and man, I hope he had Hatter. Man, why can't Comics!Hatter be more like TAS!Hatter? I blame Grant Morrison and ARKHAM ASYLUM: A SERIOUS HOUSE ON SERIOUS EARTH.

But really, this kid was only about nineteen. How much money did these cost him, and how much would he be paying to maintain them for the rest of his life? Either way, I salute his dedication, and also his taste. Anybody can get a Joker tattoo (probably the Heath Ledger version, as I'd expect from someone who hangs out at Shmot Smopic), but to get all the Rogues, especially in their TAS versions? That's cred, man.
thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)



In Fresno, a mere block away from where I was performing, Henchgirl and I discovered a comic shop called Wonderland Comics. At first, we thought it was closed, as from the outside it looked rundown and shut up for the day (if not permanently).

But the door opened to reveal the person Henchgirl would later refer to as "The Gnome Man": a squat, large-bellied man with haggard gray hair and a great bushy beard (to be said aloud in your best Jim Broadbent voice). If he had legs--or indeed anything below the waist--we never saw them. The only actual movement he made upon our entrance was to lower his copy of THE COMICS JOURNAL and look over his glasses at us with mild interest that turned into mild disdain when we confessed, "No, we're just here to browse."

Then we saw the shop itself.

My God... it's full of... )

Question, comic fans: what do you consider to be the perfect comic shop? What do you look for in a store? Do you prioritize new issues? Graphic novels and trades? Back issues? What about non-comic merchandise, like toys, cards, and/or games? Does such a store exist for you, or has nothing yet lived up to your ideal?
thehefner: (Scott and Barda are US SO SCHMOOPY)
But it's certainly been a productive two days since we left from Tuscaloosa yesterday morning (though it feels like last week!).

And we have the photos to prove it! )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
The final photos of this trip )



That wraps up the photos of my travels, but the story is not yet finished. I'm working on a big Monologue post, one which may well prove to be the basis of my next show, exploring the real reasons behind this trip, the goals I made, and what happened upon my return to DC. Hope you dig it.

I'm still trying to figure out what to call the new show. Henchgirl favors THE ROAD TO NOWHERE, but a part of me is considering THE HEFNER TRAVELOGUES.
thehefner: (Aquaman: They See Me Rollin')
Returning to the desolation of Texas )
thehefner: (Default)
By special request of [livejournal.com profile] heykidzcomix (sorry it took me ten months to finally get to these!):







White Sands Missile Range! )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
TL;DR's rejoice! No long-winded writings this time! This is pretty much purely a photo post!





Oddball small town museum photos behind the cut )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
I checked into a hostel in Phoenix, AZ, my plan to rest in and check my LJ was waylaid when I discovered that my bottle of Pepto Bismol had exploded.

Of all the toiletries to pop open and spill, it had to be the one that would add a fine coat of bright pink over my toothbrush, toothpaste, other toothpaste, hand moisturizer, facial moisturizer, facial cleanser, floss, another (empty) container of floss, Rogaine, vitamins, vitamin C lozenges, Listerine, acid reflux medication, old-man-bladder medication, ginko biloba, massage oil, lube, and a flash drive. All doused with thick pink goo that steadfastly resisted mere rinsing techniques.

I think between occupying the bathroom sink for an hour and then (not entirely-successfully) fighting back sobs in the middle of the night, thinking about my cat, I was pretty much the worst hostel-mate of all time.

Continuing Southeast toward Tuscon along HWY 79, I pulled over at a POI near Florence, to visit the spot where Tom Mix died.





More photos and story behind the cut! )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
An old familiar sight, and a second chance at one of 66's greatest stops )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
Making the most of the last day, before receiving some bad news from the homefront )
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
Those of you who've been reading my journal for a year or more know that I embarked on a massive road trip across the US from the start of November 2008 to the end of January 2009. I recounted my adventures in the form of day-to-day entries with tons of photos, stories, trivia, etc. And much to my surprise, many of you actually liked these rambling posts of mine!

Well, if you've read those, you'll recall that I never actually finished my series, wrapping up my adventure home. Part of it was procrastination and laziness. Part of this is because I had a set ending in mind, one which never came to pass for several reasons (it still could, if I ever got around to it). Part of this is because I was--and still sorta am--hesitant to delve into those raw, bleeding emotions surrounding my return.

Take it from me: you can't plan an adventure. And if you try, you'd better be prepared to get one, just not the one you wanted.

Well, since I'm working on a new show based around the road trip (at least, one or two of the eight or nine different stories I could tell about the trip), I think it's time to finally finish the story. As best as I can. Taking this much time is a double-edged sword: I gain perspective, but I lose the immediacy of memory and emotion. I hope the photos are enough to kickstart my memory. I hope you continue to enjoy them in any case.

In the meantime, for those who wants a kickstart themselves, or simply to catch up with this whole thing, here are all my pertinent road trip posts in handy-dandy order.

Part 1: And we're off! Sort of! )

Part 2: Route 66! )

Part 3: Los Angeles, and my triumphant return to the Playboy Mansion! ... Sorta! )

Part 4: Northbound along the US West Coast )


(MISSING REEL)


Part 5: Vegas, pallies! )


Aaaand that's as far as I've gotten. I still need to do Vegas Day 3, which I'll get on tonight or tomorrow. Let's finally wrap this bugger up!
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
Well, I've been putting the photo posts off for awhile, I might as well do another, since that takes more busywork than mental effort. So here, enjoy this pictorial of Heffie and the Henchgirl beholding the wonder and glory that is... CARHENGE.



No one knows who they were. Or... what they were doing. )
thehefner: (Two-Face: Mounds! No Almond Joy!)
So many things I keep thinking about writing and I just can't do it. I finished Morrison's BATMAN R.I.P., but ugh, I dunno if I'll ever post my thoughts on it. There just seems to be no point. And there've been so many wonderful exchanges that have happened between me and Henchgirl that need to be captured and immortalized here, but ugh, I just haven't been able to pull it off.

I've been feeling really off the past couple of days. Maybe two months of Fringe performance/promotion/schmoozing, long stretches of driving, sleeping in the car, and consuming nothing but fat, sugar, and caffeine, then replacing that diet with pretty much non-stop alcohol for another week and a half, capped off by a massive party with grog... that might have something to do with it. Yeah. My body does not like me right now.

So instead of anything substantially thoughtful, have this schmutzed-up photo I recently found to show how little has changed.



The date is July, 1995. I'm twelve. Mom made me the costume out of stuff we found at the Salvation Army. Note the coin-flipping pose. The coin's somewhere out of focus, and this was but one of several takes.

I put off posting this for a whole day, because I wasn't sure if the entertainment factor quite outweighed the self-inflicted embarrassment. But hell, I still think it looks better than Tommy Lee Jones in BATMAN FOREVER.
thehefner: (Darkplace: More Things to Say)
Also, a reminder to anyone in the Vancouver, BC area (*is* there anyone out there in the Vancouver, BC area???), my final Fringe Festival of the year is coming up this week! That's right, it's MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES at the Vancouver Fringe Festival!!!

Sep 10 - 7:00 PM
Sep 12 - 9:00 PM
Sep 13 - 3:15 PM
Sep 13 - 9:00 PM
Sep 14 - 7:15 PM
Sep 16 - 7:15 PM
Sep 19 - 9:00 PM
Sep 20 - 3:20 PM

@ Origins Organic Coffee Co. on lovely Granville Island!!!

Henchgirl and I are currently in Seattle (as you may have noticed), making last-minute preparations! We went to Pike Place Market today--one of my favorite places on Earth-Prime--but due to it apparently being Labor Day, many shops were closed! Most importantly, the fish-throwers and the doughnut stand! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Gonna have to try again, after I get some awesome cured meat sammitches at Salumi. *gurgle*

Oh, and for no reason, have a random photo taken last Tuesday in Ainsworth, Nebraska:

thehefner: (Default)
When Mom found out that henchgirl and I were going to be driving through Iowa on our way Northwest, she asked, "Are you going to show her the grotto?"

I actually hadn't considered it, but once Mom said the words, I knew it was a must. Henchgirl asked what the grotto was, and I honestly tried to describe it for a minute there before giving up and telling her to just wait and see for herself. It just has to be seen to be believed.

Truth be told, my own memories of the place are fuzzy. My brother took me there back around 1998 on my first-ever road trip, bound for Seattle (where I am now, having more or less followed that very same route; funny, that). That made description even harder, so I just held my tongue as we made our way West, the day turning quickly into night.

It looked like we would have to find a place to hunker down nearby, since surely it would be closed at this point. It was 9:30pm, after all. But still, I thought, it couldn't hurt to check their times. So I fired up ol' Mother Box and discovered that while the grotto's personnel were off and thus there were no tours or anything, the site itself was--in fact--open 24 hours! They even kept it lit until 10:30!

According to my GPS, we were an hour and five minutes away. Just enough time to miss it. That is, if I didn't gun it. Which I did.

And thus it was, at 10:05pm, that henchgirl and I arrived in West Bend, Iowa, at the Grotto of the Redemption.



Tons of photos (some blurrier than others due to night photography issues), none of which capture the experience of seeing this place alone at night )
thehefner: (Iron Man: Life is Empty w/o GIN)
Man, I still never have posted the rest of my road trip photos from January, have I? You still have yet to hear the rest of my Vegas adventure! One of these days, man.

In the meantime, here, have photos of the world's largest six pack in La Crosse, WI, taken on my way to Winnipeg in July.



And yes, they really are filled with beer.

Six more photos, plus history of the six pack, and a super special bonus! )
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
You were warned.



THE BLACKEST NIGHT "DRINKING" GAME IS UNDERWAY.

Who... I ask you, WHO is ready for THE BLACKEST NIGHT? )

Now, if I were truly bold and wanted to give this a serious Russian Roulette flavor, I'd have bought a pack of these and sprinkled them in with the appropriate colors. But no, alas. I want to have a good time. And really, that really requires someone else to laugh at you when you end up eating a Rotten Egg jelly bean. Besides, only about half of them are comparable with the ones listed above.

Regardless. Bring it on, DC. Bring. It. ON.

September 2012

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