I hear that. I've done the same thing, from time to time. I too share the knee-jerk defensiveness. Hell, there have been times when I've thought people were reading way too much into something that I was already reading my own "too much thoughts" into, which is unfair.

The thing I'm learning to say is not a dismissive "You're reading too much into this" but rather an engaging, respectful, "I disagree, and here's why."