thehefner | 'night, Mother

One of my major pet peeves is when someone says "get over it."

Anyone who says "get over it" to someone has absolutely no interest in the other person. They just want the problem to go away. As if a person who's in such a state that they have to "get over" anything is even in a receptive mindstate that hearing someone say "get over it" would do any good! It's a cop-out and I hate it.

That said, I listened to a live performance recording of the play 'night, Mother, and the entire time I just wanted to smack Jessie upside the head and scream, "GET OVER IT!"

God damn! What an infuriating play. This won the fucking Pulitzer? I'm reading on Amazon about all these people hailing it as a wonderful play, that Jessie is a sympathetic character, that her killing herself was understandable, even perhaps the right decison. No, fuck that. There are people with problems much, much worse than hers, people for whom suicide is far more justifible. Jessie needs to take up a hobby or something. Travel abroad, see the world. Re-evaluate her life, not just go "I don't like my life or the state of the world so I'm going to kill myself."

If I were her mother, I've have smacked her over the head with that gun, set her straight, and then made her make Momma a pie. That's how the play should have gone. The whole thing would have been five minutes long and it would be a masterpiece.

Good god damn, I need something good to happen to me tonight. Things just don't feel right, and I could seriously use a smile on my face by the end of today.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Good god damn, I need something good to happen to me tonight. Things just don't feel right, and I could seriously use a smile on my face by the end of today.

*hugs* Sorry the play upset you, but thanks for the PSA...I'll be sure to skip it! My recommendation: watch "Lazy Sunday" again. That should take care of the smile bit.

I too have always found 'night Mother completely overrated.

I was tempted to say "Get over it" just to be ironic but have decided against it.

I was totally waiting to see if someone would and I deeply appreciate you resisting.

Glad I'm not the only one. I just thank god I didn't read it in a class where I'd have to hear the teacher and the peers fawning over it. Guh.

I just might at that. A fine idea. Thankee for the e-hug.

I disagree. A person can say 'get over it', care about the person they are saying it to and simplym mean that it really is time to do just that.

There was a time in my past were I was seriously stuck due to having a broken heart. I really loved someone and she really betrayed me. Yet, I was still stuck on her. Many people had expressed to me that they felt sad for me and that I was a really nice guy. The sympathy was nice but I realize now that after a point it had no point. My hanging on to it and my wanting otehr peoples' sympathy was holding me back.

It wasn't until a really good friend that I respected immensely told that I had hung on to the pain to long and it was irritating him and not allowing me to simply move on. He said quite simply that what was done was done and Icould hang on to the pain and sadness forever or I could be a man, buck up, and 'get over it'.

The friend was actually a bit harsher than that but his reactions shocked the Hell out of me and I really started to look at myself and me need to just 'get over it'. I was able to take him seriously. I found that I could learn to get over the past. More than that, I realized that for my own good, I needed to.

I think friends can only watch friends torture themselves emotionally and wallow in self pity for so long before, no matter how much they care, those friends watching can't take it any more. Then, when they say 'get over it'. It's not out of a lack of care but realizing that that friend simply needs to and the speaker of the words hopes that they will be taken seriously.

LOL. I did.

Thankee for the e-hug.

Anytime. I'm always good for those!

no idea who the anonymous person above is, but it's not me, btw.

Just because while reading it, I thought, if I had to guess who this anonymous person is, I'd say "me". But I didn't write it.

I obviously agree with everything written, though. Way too easy to get stuck in a perpetual loop of misery and over-analysis. When shit went down, I loved all my friends who listened to my complaints, issues and grief. But I loved them just as much when they knew when to tell me enough was e-fucking-nough, and don't think it subtracts from their friendship in the least.

It's ok, I have a pretty good guess as to who it is.

After reading and considering you both, I should clarify: I was referring to people who use "Get over it" as a knee-jerk reaction to some shit they don't want to deal with, not friends who deeply genuinely care and want to see the friend stop suffering. Do you know the kind of people I mean? The people who don't understand and more importantly don't want to understand.

Of course, I wasn't really writing all that to seriously bring it up as much as I wanted to illustrate a point in bitching about 'night, Mother.

i quite disagree.

telling someone to get over it in the immediate is harsh and insensitive, the person needs some time to adjust, take it in, deal wih things.

but after a time, if a person is still having difficulty moving on and getting past whatever it might be, then i think that "get over it" is sound advice.

we ALL have things we need to get over that we just arent.

i know i do.

and a friend of mine once explained the concept and importance of 'getting over it' to in a brilliant fashion. if people would learn to get over things, then they would create far less additional problems for themselves and others.

Oy, I knew saying this would get me in trouble. Read my reply to Gawayn.

hehe i'll do that.

and of course it gets you into trouble.. specifically with the people who tell you to get over things.

but i do want to add this.. i've never meant to be insensitive to you by saying that. i never meant to infer that any of what you've had to deal with is trivial or painless. i know better, because in many cases i have been there.

that being said.. i stand by what i've said.. but if i've ever been inadvertantly insensitive, i really am sorry. you're my friend and i love you, brother.. and i've only said what i thought was best.

i thank you for your patience, and your willingness (and even sometimes enthusiasm) to listen to what i have to say about any of it. i consider myself honored that you trust me enough to discuss the things in your life with me.

ah.

word up.

btw.. if you'd like to hang out tonight, you'd be saving my ass. i just found out that i'm stranded tonight at the metro.

not that i'd be hanging out just for a ride.. i was looking to make plans for tonight anyway.

you just seem to be free on monday nights alot, like myself.

just thought i'd check.

Sorry, dude, I dunno where you got that impression, but I have rehearsals Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Otherwise I would.

Say, you think I can get three comps for this Wednesday? I'll try calling Holly as well. I'd appreciate it!

i forgot about rehearsals. hehe maybe i should metro to greenbelt and meet you guys there for rehearsals and bennigans after, eh?

working on the comps.

Oh, and if you can swing any way for us to meet Brad maybe afterwards, that'd be further super... otherwise we'll just wait by the stage exit door as usual.

well, i wont be there tonight, neither will Holly.. so there is no way i can do that.

you can stalk him, if you like. just dont mention my name when he presses charges.

'night, Mother

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

On the idea of "get over it!"

no subject

no subject

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

no subject

no subject

no subject

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"

Re: On the idea of "get over it!"