The Ugly Ralph Fiennes Strikes Again!

[thehefner]

Up until a minute ago, I really could have given a rat's ass about the G.I. JOE movie.

Look, I was always more of a Joe fan as a kid than a Transformers fan. Not that I ever expressly loved the show or anything, but I loved the characters. What an awesome cast of heroes and villains! Flint, Snake Eyes, Major Bludd, Dr. Mindbender, Storm Shadow, Zartan, Cobra Commander, the Baroness...

... mmm... the Baroness... excuse me, be back in five minutes...

(two minutes pass)

Right. Now, where was I?

So, yeah. G.I. JOE. Truth be told, I was way more of a GHOSTBUSTERS kid with touches of HE-MAN, but G.I. JOE was ever-present, with all those great action figures. Indeed, if I wanted to sum up my childhood in three coked-out-on-pop-rocks-and-pixie-sticks minutes, this is the video to watch:

Pure, glorious crack, ain't it?

But really, especially after the epic cock-up that was TRANSFORMERS, I wasn't giving a damn about the G.I. JOE movie. Sure, Dennis Quaid as Hawk is nice, but then there's the thought of Sienna Miller playing the Baroness (Monica Bellucci immediately springs to mind, but Miller??), and have it all being helmed by Stephen "VAN HELSING" Sommers, and I just... ehh, apathy abounds.

But just minutes ago, they announced who was playing Destro. You know Destro? The no-nonsense hardcore metal-headed Scottish arms dealer, the only man badass enough to repeatedly sex up the Baroness while still being the emotional anchor to his hetero lifemate, Cobra Commander*?

Destro was going to be played by some guy named David Murray, but he dropped out. So who oh who did they get to replace him?

Christopher Eccleston.



Hell. Yes.

Fuck it. I'm interested now. Let's hope it's at least entertaining and that the characters are interesting. Because that alone? That's just casting excellence, that is.



*Destro's relationship to Cobra Commander is sort of like what a more badass, no-nonsense Kif would be to a megalomaniacal Zap Brannigan. Would others agree in this assessment?

Comments

[the-mithril-man.livejournal.com]

I'm more worried about the guy playing Duke, who's biggest movies to date were "Step Up" and "She's the man". Having watched both I'll say I'm not filled with confidence about him being able to pull off the teams resident badass Top SGT. And no Roadblock, due to some kind of copyright snag, no big Browning .30 cal toting gourmet chef. And I do agree, Bellucci seems tailor made to play my first boyhood crush. Still Ray park as Snake Eyes and Arnold Vosloo is rumored as Zartan, so I'll give them the benefit right now. I'm just glad they scrapped the UN peacekeeping force angle for the movie. As for Eccleston, the only thing I know him from is "Strumpet" but I liked him there. And now, because of this, you must make a few Futurama/GI Joe icons


Oh and 40 seconds in we get a good shot of the failed Cobra B.A.T.C.H Trooper.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Eccleston has also played:

the 9th Doctor
invisible Claude on Heroes
Ben Jago, the Iago-variant, in a modern-setting version of Othello (with Eamonn "Kareem Said" Walker as Othello)

He's a great choice for Destro.

[kosher-jenny.livejournal.com]

I love that you brought up Othello. He really was amazing in that adaptation.