Real danger here! Stand and deliver! Moment of truth! End of the line! 8th level Mario Bros!

[thehefner]

The AV Club asks their staff, "What movies/TV episodes scared the holy living crap out of you as a child?"

For me, the BLOB remake still causes me to be very, very wary of sink and shower drains (IT had/has the same effect on one of the AV viewers, and that was a much cheesier movie with crappier special effects), and it's awesome to hear about all the people still freaked out by RETURN TO OZ. But the most gratifying part of this article is that it starts with one person confessing to what freaked her out as a child:

ERNEST SCARED STUPID.

Yes, as Jim Varney's Ernest. His Halloween movie from 1991.

Thank god, I thought I was the only one terrified of that fucking movie as a kid. Specifically, this scene at the 8:00 mark.

Okay, so it doesn't really hold up today unlike THE BLOB, which I watch today with a mixture of adult Heffie loving the awesome 80's horror film and li'l Heffie cringing in horror of the thought of being suffocated AND FUCKING DISSOLVED AND EATEN ALIVE but when you're eight years old, holy god, WTF. And look, look! I'm not the only one! In the article's comments, one person pinpoints the exact scene I was thinking of:

"I still refuse to watch that goddamn movie. The scene where the girl is convinced the troll is under her bed, and she finally works up the courage to look under her bed, and the troll isn't there, and she rolls over AND THE GODDAMN TROLL IS RIGHT NEXT TO HER scared me into never ever turning around in bed for about five years after watching the movie. And the idea of being trapped in a statue, paralyzed without thought, for centuries and centuries, utterly terrified me. Still does."

YES. OH YES THANK GOD, SWEET VINDICATION SEVENTEEN YEARS LATER. AHAHAHAHA.




In other news of personal gratification, it's so wonderful to know that a Rhodes* scholar can still have a twelve-year-old boy's sense of humor.

I must have Rachel Maddow's babies.

Damn it, if anyone could find a way, it'd be ME!




*Damn it, I need to do a better version of this icon someday.

Comments

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

For me, The Brave Little Toaster was the scariest shit in town. After watching that, I was afraid of ovens for years. I also had an aversion to air conditioners, vacuums, clowns, and those things that squish cars into small boxes or whatever. They were on a conveyor belt singing a depressing song about not being wanted anymore and then they got squashed because they were scrap parts. It was horrible! And I felt so guilty whenever I didn't want my baby blanket around anymore since the one in the movie was so codependent and wanted his owner to love him so badly.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Then maybe you'd better not watch this, which was brought to my attention just today:



Why does Bugs Bunny want me to live in utter mortal terror of my kitchen coming alive and eating me? I bet the mother in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM watched this ad before she had her nightmare.

[torberg.livejournal.com]

I remember that I saw this as a kid! Outstanding! It didn't freak me out, but I do remember seeing it.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

No, that one didn't freak me out either.

THIS one, on the other hand, definitely got under my skin...



Saturday morning kid's shows should not be this good. Or rather, why they hell AREN'T they all this good?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oops, I thought you were replying to the Ghostbusters thing above! NM! Well, it's still a good episode!