thehefner: (Joker: He stole my balloons!)
thehefner ([personal profile] thehefner) wrote2009-08-04 05:44 pm
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Never rub another man's rhubarb!

Holy crap, but turning your TV color settings to black and white makes Tim Burton's BATMAN movie ten times more awesome than it ever was. Good call, [livejournal.com profile] bitemetechie!

Watching this with Mom, she put it best: "Why the hell wasn't it always like this???" It just all fits so well, especially in the scenes were you see the architecture and set design of Anton Furst's Gotham. I used to feel like those looked dated and stagey, but in B&W, it becomes a true classic throwback to German Expressionist cinema. Seriously, speaking as someone who has fallen entirely out of love with the Burton films over the years, just the simple act of changing color settings on my TV has reinvigorated the entire viewing experience.

Not to say that it's a still a good movie. Egad, no. Maybe having it edited as a silent film, accompanied by just Danny Elfman's amazing soundtrack and give it the full Fritz Lang/F.W. Murnau treatment, thereby playing to the film's true strengths without the distractions of things like the Prince soundtrack and Vicki Vale.

Ugh, god, how did any of us stand Basinger's character? She's worse than Katie Holmes' Rachel Dawes. She's so insufferably vapid and shrieky, it's hard to believe that three characters (Bruce, Joker, and Knox) are infatuated with her. Also, when she's not screaming, she's making quick little yelps like a chihuahua. Anyone else notice this?

Man, Michael Keaton's career never recovered from these films, did it? The guy was magnificent, a powerhouse of intense mad energy, but ever since these films, he's been... where? I honestly don't know! He deserved better. Even if, whatever it was he was playing here, it wasn't Bruce Wayne nor Batman. He plays Bruce like a shifty awkward nerd who can't even talk to girls, like a creepier version of Christopher Reeve's bumbling Clark Kent. And his Batman... well, Batman doesn't kill, plain and simple.

Burton's BATMAN films--especially BATMAN RETURNS--have always worked best as films about the director's own visions. If they were about original characters, I might well enjoy them more than I do. Or maybe not. Maybe I never would be able to take the style over the substance, or the lack thereof, but god damn if watching 'em in black and white doesn't go a long way to help. Maybe someday, I'll try it on RETURNS and see if it bestows some beauty onto that unremittingly ugly film.

Also, every single second Billy Dee Williams was on screen as Harvey, I thought, "Never before has heartwrenching homicidal angst been so smoooooth."

[identity profile] bitemetechie.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
One day, John, I will properly, eloquently defend the Keaton Batman in such a convincing way that you will have no choice but to fall to your knees and beg his forgiveness.

Also, Prince.

It may break your soul and you may never recover from tehe burny, burny cheesy-eighties-tastic-ness, but I will relish your defeat just the same. Relish, I say!

I may even go so far as to ketchup and mustard it. I'll do it. I'm craaaazy.

[identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I enjoy it the way I enjoy Jack's Joker: on its own terms. NOT as anything close to a faithful version of the characters from the comics.

Do you know when/if you're coming in or not, girl? I still haven't heard back about housing for Indianapolis yet. I dunno what the deal is there.

[identity profile] bitemetechie.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I just sent you an e-mail with the details. The past week has been like...you really wouldn't believe all the stuff I had to do just to get to a computer with working internet. Crimney. Who the hell closes ALL the libraries, university AND public, for renovations/computer upgrades/what-the-hell-ever-else at the same time? Zombie Jesus.

[identity profile] bitemetechie.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
(Also, if you watch Batman Returns in B&W without me, I may never forgive you.)

[identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com 2009-08-10 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I might not watch it ever anyway, so don't worry about that! ;p