thehefner | hahahahahahaha internet I missed you so

Man, I feel and smell like I haven't showered since Friday. Probably because I haven't. We finally have power again! Now if we can just get the heat working, we'll be golden!

Why is it the only thing I want to do in a blackout is watch movies? Mom and I used up her laptop's battery by watching ARTISTS AND MODELS, a Dean and Jerry film with Shirley MacClaine directed by Looney Tunes great Frank Tashlin dealing with the anti-comic-book hysteria in the 50's. Fascinating, hilarious, and bizarre on so many levels.

Later on, I may offer my own photos from SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010, as well as a story about how my stepfather nearly got me exploded. Possibly twice.

For now, some links of note, which may only hilarious to me because I am a freezing sleep-deprived suburban hobo:

Hipster Puppies is totally the new icanhazcheezeburger (he said, totally ironically). Sample image and caption:

"dill can’t wait for them to announce the pitchfork festival lineup so he can make fun of it and then go to it anyway"

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

Feature sandwich in this photo: Meatloaf.

I shall laugh and laugh with these until we lose power again with the coming six-to-ten inches of snow. Meanwhile, I await comments from my friends in Canada and Sweden about how we in the Mid Atlantic are a bunch of lucky wimps.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This Canadian doesn't see the point in telling you what you obviously already know, but I will anyway:
Selleck waterfall sandwich is terrifyingly awesome.

Wow, I laughed so hard at the hipster puppies... it's so funny... and true...

(now, remember as this goes on to start imagining that I am saying this in that "agitated shaggy" voice that I do when I'm on a roll and my blood is all angried up.)

Funnily enough, I just today had an epiphany about just why it is that I hate Hipsters with the venom and conviction that I do. No, it is not the fact that they are fun hating, pretentious, snobbish, trend obsessed losers who dress like morons. No. I hate hipsters like Bill Hicks hated Dennis Leary. I hate them for stealing my shtick, and then making it into something hideous that I never wanted it to be. Walking around Savannah you will see an awful lot of these little paramecium running around wearing cardigan sweaters over vests over t-shirts with jeans, chuck taylors, sunglasses and sometimes even a fedora. That is how I dressed all the god damn time from ages 16 through 20, long before any of us even knew these scum existed. These bastards stole my look, but made it look even stupider by skinnying up the jeans, dumbassing the sunglasses, getting ugly-girl's haircuts and making the t-shirts have those hideous v-necks to show of their bony, bony, hairless chests. Then they stole my hyper judgemental and sarcastic nature in regards to other people's poor tastes in music, and films and what not, but they didn't think to listen to bands and watch movies that don't suck first. To top it all off instead of celebrating passion and honesty, they embrace only ironic poses and practiced disinterest. It's like everything I hate dressed up to look like a mockery of what I once was. I'm telling you man, it's about to get real personal between the hipster fuck nation and one Dr. Butch Scholeri obgyn.

How do you personally feel about Denis Leary?

I still like him a lot. But as I got more and more into Hicks, the sort of creepy resemblance between their 2 shticks began to creep me out.

I suppose it speaks to Leary's favor that he pretty much shed the angry ranty persona thing not long after LOCK 'N LOAD. Even then, I kinda got the impression that he was tired of it and wanted to move on.

I should see more Hicks, as what I've seen thus far hasn't quite lived up to the substantial hype.

I'm not sure if Hicks will be up your alley, really. I think he's a bit of a genius and very powerfully honest and subversive in the vein of Lenny Bruce, but he has a lot of anger to him. Anger is not always something you have the easiest time latching onto.

Comedy is an exception when it comes to my distaste for anger. Really, comedy is pretty much nothing BUT pain and anger. But still, I keep trying to watch him, and nothing's grabbed me yet. Maybe he isn't big enough in performance, like Carlin, for example. Carlin, I get.

hahahahahahaha internet I missed you so

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the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.

Re: the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.

Re: the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.

Re: the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.

Re: the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.

Re: the hipster puppy thing brought this on. it's a rant I've been meaning to make all day.