It figures.

[thehefner]

The one day I agree to fill in at the comic shop, I'm recovering from a cold and the AC is broken. Of course.

Still, I'm feeling in good spirits, so much so that I'm frankly suspicious as to what the hell's going on and how long it will last. I mean, certain unfriendly old faces do their part to chip away at my good mood.

And as if I needed any reminders as to why I quit in the first place, I have so far seen literally every other customer purchase one or more copies of Mark Millar's Wolverine-in-the-post-apocalyptic-future storyline, "Old Man Logan." I'm quite proud at how adept I've been at suppressing the disdain in my tone as I ask, "Ahh, so I see you're a fan of Hulk and She-Hulk's inbred redneck children and Spider-Bitch, eh? Cuh-LASSY!"

Similarly, this brings up something I've been wondering in regards to books such as Millar's WANTED and KICK-ASS: why is it that every time we get a story purported to be superheroes in the "real world," they always (with the exception of books like WATCHMEN and, I dunno, maybe NEW FRONTIER?) come off as even bigger juvenile power fantasies than the regular superhero books?

The simplicity is the same, but now there's boobs, cursing, and violence! Mature and realistic, yeah!

And of course, these are the books that become top sellers. I've heard that Alan Moore and Frank Miller hate the impact their books have had on the industry, and it continues unabated today, right down to the superhero movies. In case you hadn't heard, all DC Comics movies, including Superman, are all to "go dark" in the wake of THE DARK KNIGHT. Because yes, it was totally the dark tone that made that movie a hit. Also, IRON MAN was sooooo grim and gritty, and look what a hit that was (note to self: even I'm not sure where I'm being sarcastic there).

Bear in mind, this announcement comes from Jeff Robinov, the guy who axed the WONDER WOMAN movie because of his belief that movies starring women don't make any money. Valerie D'Orazio put it best when she described the bizarre, tenuous relationship DC Comics have with their WB overlords:

Case in point: the "Catwoman" movie. It was very clear to the editors that the movie was a dog, long before it came out. And they were like: why couldn't they just keep her as Selina? We just had this awesome graphic novel come out about her. Why couldn't we just have used that? But then you have to grit your teeth, smile, put out the comic book adaptation, accept the free tickets to the premiere, and watch the head of WB say at the end: "Oh, women can't headline our action movies. They do terrible. Like Catwoman."

I, too, anxiously await the dark and brooding Plastic Man movie. Starring the inbred Super-Bitches and Wonder Cunt. Just you wait, if Mark Millar ever gets his hands back on DC property, it's gonna happen, mark my words.

Comments

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

I am ashamed of myself for buying the Old Man Wolverine comic. And it blows, really bad. But I can't resist the art.

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

I don't think "New Frontier" counts as a "real world" superhero story, not the way you mean it. It's just an elseworlds story that has real event tie ins-even in the regular DC universe, real events/people exist, like WW 2, John Kennedy, etc.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was just trying to think of another that applies real-world setting to superheroics without, y'know, Millarism. Is there anything else that really pulls it off besides the old standby WATCHMEN?

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

Astro City? I've never read it,but i heard it was good.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That in an excellent, excellent example, and definitely one worth checking out. I myself need to buy the whole series and have only read bits, but what I've read have been astounding.

[philippos42.livejournal.com]

I think Warner Bros. relation to DC is like Paramount's relation to Star Trek. They bought it, but that doesn't mean they understood it.

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

Dagnabit! I remember the good 'ol days when only ONE super-powered villain was allowed to dominate the post-apocalyptic world at a time. ONE and only ONE.
I don't know what it is that infuriates me so much about pop culture demonizing goth kids all the time but it does. So Goth Kid Hulk pisses me off.
God bless Astro City. I'm secretly hoping that if Watchmen does well (is it still in threat of being blocked for release by Fox?), that they'll make an Astro City movie. The tagline:
Astro City-like Watchmen but with hope.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

I don't think the man behind "the goddamn batman" has any right to complain. I know he says that it's a parody of other "grim n gritty" comics nowadays but I don't buy it. He only said that 4 or 5 issues in after critics and fans alike tore it to shreds and reduced it to an ongoing laughingstock. It's natural to try to save face but trying to fix the problems of the comic would've gone much farther then simply saying that we missed the point.

[doop.livejournal.com]

So what do the customers say when you ask about the inbred Hulks or Spider-Bitch?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

No one said anything particularly telling or interesting, other than smiling with an amused, "Heh, yeah." I was only in for the day, so I likely won't have a chance to pick their brains any more than that... but then, I've learned from experience that doing so rarely leads to anything satisfying.