Tour Update: Still Alive in Hamilton

[thehefner]

$325 later, I have a passport, and am successfully in Hamilton, Ontario, one of the oddest damn towns I've ever seen.

The twisty rolling ribbons of roads in this suburb feel like the streets were designed by Jervis Tetch. There are "Turtle Crossing" signs. LOTS of them. And the downtown streets feel like they were designed by Winchester Mystery House lady. Streets that go nowhere! Parking lots that dead end behind McDonald's! Keep building the city or you'll die! And as if on cue, Lennon's "Mind Games" popped up on the radio.

Unfortunately, I have little hope that such oddness will actually work for our favor ticket-sales-wise. But hell, it's too soon to start thinking that, say, this will be like Boulder all over again. And even if it is, having a Henchgirl along makes all the difference.

Which reminds me: say, I can has an actual www.JohnHefner.com? Why yes. Thanks to Henchgirl, I now can has. SUCK IT, JOHN HEFFNER AND YOUR DESIRE TO OWN JOHNHEFNER.COM SO IT COULD REDIRECT TO YOUR SITE! YOUR DOMAIN NAME HAS LAPSED! I WIN!

If you know anyone in Hamilton or Kansas City, MO, tell 'em to go see THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES over the next couple weeks. Tell 'em to laugh. Because I love you, Canada, I really do. But when I'm on that stage, I need boisterous American laughter, not polite internal appreciation. I like to know when I'm doing well. Also, Henchgirl may blow up Canada if this keeps going on.

Comments

[whimmydiddle.livejournal.com]

Ah. That explains things; must be my Canadian blood. (Both parents.) It's rare that I will laugh out loud even when enjoying a show. I had no term for it, but "polite internal appreciation" is not a bad one. Whenever I go to a Rudes show, I am accutely aware of how forced the (frequent, in the case of comedies) loud laughter around me seems, much of the time coming from friends of those onstage. It sounds for all the world as if they are making a point of giving the performers what they need. Me, I paid my money to be entertained, not to feed egos. And if I've got to work to feed the artist, I'm not sitting back and enjoying the show. They've got this thing called applause at the end; I do that.

This will probably start a flame war thread. Sorry.

[mellifluous-ink.livejournal.com]

The twisty rolling ribbons of roads in this suburb feel like the streets were designed by Jervis Tetch.

I NEED TO BE THERE RIGHT NOW. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. *puts it on the list of Potential Places to Settle Down*

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, my apologies for Hamilton. I lived there once. If they don't laugh, it won't be because they're Canadian, it'll be because they're brain-damaged hicks. Although the over-50s missed the meth trend, so they're pretty cool and artsy.

(Given the above, and all our past conversations, I would say Canadians are "reserved" rather than "polite". Important distinction.)

In conclustion, screw Hamiltom, come over here and drink martinis with me. (Break a leg though!)

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

How come henchgirl gets to blow up canada but I don't get to blow up england?

Come on man, They still have it coming after Oliver Cromwell.