Tour Update: Still Alive in Hamilton

[thehefner]

$325 later, I have a passport, and am successfully in Hamilton, Ontario, one of the oddest damn towns I've ever seen.

The twisty rolling ribbons of roads in this suburb feel like the streets were designed by Jervis Tetch. There are "Turtle Crossing" signs. LOTS of them. And the downtown streets feel like they were designed by Winchester Mystery House lady. Streets that go nowhere! Parking lots that dead end behind McDonald's! Keep building the city or you'll die! And as if on cue, Lennon's "Mind Games" popped up on the radio.

Unfortunately, I have little hope that such oddness will actually work for our favor ticket-sales-wise. But hell, it's too soon to start thinking that, say, this will be like Boulder all over again. And even if it is, having a Henchgirl along makes all the difference.

Which reminds me: say, I can has an actual www.JohnHefner.com? Why yes. Thanks to Henchgirl, I now can has. SUCK IT, JOHN HEFFNER AND YOUR DESIRE TO OWN JOHNHEFNER.COM SO IT COULD REDIRECT TO YOUR SITE! YOUR DOMAIN NAME HAS LAPSED! I WIN!

If you know anyone in Hamilton or Kansas City, MO, tell 'em to go see THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES over the next couple weeks. Tell 'em to laugh. Because I love you, Canada, I really do. But when I'm on that stage, I need boisterous American laughter, not polite internal appreciation. I like to know when I'm doing well. Also, Henchgirl may blow up Canada if this keeps going on.

Comments

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, my apologies for Hamilton. I lived there once. If they don't laugh, it won't be because they're Canadian, it'll be because they're brain-damaged hicks. Although the over-50s missed the meth trend, so they're pretty cool and artsy.

(Given the above, and all our past conversations, I would say Canadians are "reserved" rather than "polite". Important distinction.)

In conclustion, screw Hamiltom, come over here and drink martinis with me. (Break a leg though!)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I was already planning on writing to you to ask for the full deal here, and a reminder of what to expect. Our first audience last night was small and mostly silent, but the people who really responded to it were a fifty-plus-year-old couple and a group of Aussies. Poor Henchgirl: her only experiences with Canada are this and Vancouver!

Oh, quite right, quite right, very important distinction. "Polite" is more British.

OMG martinis would be awesome. Bah!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Tell Henchgirl to also come over here and drink martinis with me.