thehefner: (Green Lantern: Facepalm and Rage)
Why did the Green Lantern movie suck so much? The answer, according to one source, may be exactly as I feared:

One thing I feel needs mentioning: this is not Martin Campbell’s cut of the film, but the studio’s. I live in New Orleans where it was shot, I read the shooting script, all of which was painstakingly filmed with intense research, and all of that was left on the cutting room floor — a sort of combination of what happened to Daredevil and Watchmen, respectively — character development sacrificed for CG, scenes made irrelevant by removing their setup. The movie in the theater starts with an explanation of mythos that is made redundant by the more natural, scripted questions from Hal when he gets the ring. Ten minutes of childhood Hal, Carol, and Hector that sets up Hal’s first ring construct is reduced to an awkwardly placed flashback in the middle of another scene. The training with the ring is almost completely excised except for one minor scene. Most appallingly, the ending completely deletes the fact that Kilowog, Sinestro, and Toma-Re arrive at the end and help Hal defeat Parallax. Not to mention Parallax was supposed to be a 3rd act reveal after we spend the film worried about Hammond going evil, not the main villain for the entire film. I sincerely hope we get a director’s cut or at least all the deleted scenes on the video release.

Very interesting. Even if we do get a director's cut, I wonder how much of this bittersweetly-hilarious list will still hold true.

I don't know to what extent the source is to be believed, but it certainly jives with the finished product we saw on the screen. It sounds like Daredevil all over again, where a studio hacks apart of decent enough film and turns it into a franchise-kneecapping disaster unloved by audiences and critics alike. The Daredevil: Director's Cut is a far more watchable and enjoyable film, just shy of the first Spider-Man film in terms of quality, but the was already done. Put it another way, I still haven't watched the director's cut of Kingdom of Heaven, which was also hacked apart by the studio, because I just don't care enough. Who'll care enough about the director's cut of GL when it's so universally panned and has actively pissed off fandom?

I fear that the character of Hal Jordan--already one of the most controversial and LOATHED characters in fandom--will never recover from this. The only thing keeping him going will be the stubbornness of Geoff Johns and DC who refuse to believe that anyone couldn't dislike the character. It hurts a vital part of me deep inside to admit that even I no longer like Hal Jordan. Not as he is. Maybe not even as he ever actually was, but rather just the version I always WANTED him to be back when he was replaced by Kyle "Poochie Parker" Rayner. This is a very distressing thing to consider as a fan.

Looks like my only hope left for a quality GL adaptation rests entirely where I least expected it:

Much as I dislike CGI shows, I have to remind myself that Bruce Timm is producing. Maybe it won't suck. Maybe maybe maybe.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
While I steadfastly avoided the reviews for Green Lantern which popped up today on the sites I usually go to (and the fact that they're not releasing reviews until the day before release is a bad sign of WB/DC's own confidence in their overly-promoted would-be blockbuster), just seeing the dire headlines was enough to confirm the worst: this film was going to be the disaster we always thought it would be. Or worse, it would be a tedious slog with horrible CGI, an inglorious mess which isn't even fun as a train wreck.

The reality is, it wasn't that bad. Oh, it wasn't great either, but it's far from a terrible movie. It's just an incredibly flawed movie with great stuff that are threatened to be overshadowed by stupid and boring stuff. It has FOUR story credits, and it sure feels like four half-baked films with great premises, great moments, great potential, all of which go nowhere.

For instance, take Hector Hammond, the giant-headed sub-villain of the film. He's given decidedly more humanity, tragedy, and backstory than the character in comics ever had, but so much of that comes through the actor's performance and scant hints from the screenplay which, at times, seem to come out of nowhere, and subseqquently go nowhere. Hector's subplot, which had a lot of great elements, ultimately didn't serve the movie one bit, and just added to the bloat.

This is going to sound worse than I mean it, but in terms of that bloat, I was comparing Green Lantern to the third Pirates movie, while Henchgirl compared it to X-Men 3. Now, I liked GL waayyyyyy more than either of those films, especially fucking Pirates 3, but GL similarly suffers from filmmakers wanting to cram way too much into one little film, introducing one great element only to abandon it for another, and so on.

For example: Tomar-Re was WONDERFUL. Geoffery Rush and the CGI team combined to make a delightful character and break ol' fish-beak to life. He showed up, had great lines, delivered exposition, then vanished. What was the point of having him there in the first place? Then Sinestro shows up to beat up Hal, which serves as both a prelude for their friendship in the short term and their OTP of Hatred in the long term. But before any of that can be established, he too is gone. Mark Strong's Sinestro was great and nuanced, but he too was given far too little to do, and he shared far too little screentime with Hal to make it matter. Henchgirl says that Sinestro could have had Tomar-Re's whole role, and she's absolutely right. Just one of many examples of this film trying to spread itself too thin with the mythos.

I don't know what this film should have been. Maybe it should have been grounded entirely on Earth, with Hal Jordan's life being intruded upon by sci-fi elements with a few hints of the grander cosmic opera into which he's found himself intertwined. Maybe they should have thrust Hal directly to Oa and the Corps, dropping the cocky human right into the Space Opera amidst all the aliens ala Farscape. Maybe they should have ditched Green Lantern: Secret Origin (the lackluster Geoff Johns take on Hal's origin which DC is pushing as the be-all end-all BIBLE of Hal Jordan) and instead gone for Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn, the greatest GL origin which has been forgotten because people still hate that Hal was a drunk driver in that story. I defy people to look down on that now, since the Hal Jordan of the film is a complete and utter ASSHOLE. Not even a redeemable asshole like Tony Stark, just an asshole. As a longtime Hal Jordan fan, it pisses me off that many people will see that as a faithful take on the character.

The film wasn't terrible. I mean, it was a mess, and it was often boring, but it was also often delightful, fun, funny, thrilling, and soaring (Hal's first flight was a genuine bit of movie magic). We saw this in 2D, but we now want to watch it in 3D. I actually want to pay money to see this film in 3D. That should count for something. God knows how much watching it on the small screen will hurt the effects and bring out the flaws.

In terms of enjoyment quality, I put this film on the level of the first X-Men and Spider-Man films. Which is to say, they're flawed messes with cheese, stupidity, and tedium duking it out with the great stuff, which itself sets the stage for a potentially GREAT sequel. Here's hoping that happens, assuming that this doesn't flop. Granted, Transformers was a ridiculously stupid and critically-panned movie that was still a hit, but I fear that GL might be slightly too smart even in its stupidity to appeal to your average stupid movie-viewer. And if it flops, god knows what that'll mean for DC, who seems to have everything riding on this one damn movie.

There's a lot more I could say, but for now, this is the only review I've yet read which pretty much nails my thoughts (but it comes with a SPOILER tag, so be warned). For those who've seen it, let's discuss it in the comments.

I've been waiting for a Green Lantern movie with Hal Jordan and the Corps since I was thirteen years old. I feel like I'm still waiting.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Orange "Mine!")
Green Lantern: The Larfleeze Christmas Special was even more delightful than I could have expected.

I was so worried that Geoff Johns was going to beat the character into the ground, a fear reinforced by the fact even Larfleeze now apparently has to have aaaaaaaangst. But this issue was marvelous, a pure joy all around. I was already delighted when the issue opened with Larfleeze waking up on Christmas morning, appalled to discover that there were no presents left for him, that the soot in the chimney was undisturbed, and worst of all...

"The Christmas barter!" Larfleeze sneered. "The cookies we left out for the red-suited giant! The cookies are still here."

Which immediately gives way to...

So of course Henchgirl had to:

We were skeptical throughout. Henchgirl is a cookie goddess, and she wasn't sure how the hell they would turn out. We actually tasted the cookies without the icing, and they were okay, but definitely missing something. Then we applied the frosting, and it was like a Mandarin Orgasm.

These are seriously some of the best cookies I've ever had, right up there with Henchgirl's White Chocolate Macadamia Nuts Cookies of Death.

To hell with Darkseid. DIE FOR COOKIES. COOKIES IS ARE BE.

Psst: guess which part *I* helped with?

If you guessed "the incredibly failtacular attempt at home-made orange icing gel which resulted in a blobish mockery of the Orange Lantern symbol," then you're correct! ME AR HELPFL CHEF.

Poor thing. I simply have no choice but to put it out of its delicious, delicious misery while I try to help Larlfeeze out. I know he'd certainly want my assistance. And my wallet. And my house.

Seriously, Henchgirl is the best girl ever. I love her as much as Larfleeze loves stuff. It's no coincidence that Henchgirl and I frequently grip onto each other with a feverish, intense, "MINE." I know Larfleeze would be proud, even while he'd be using my credit card to buy eBay. All of eBay.
thehefner: (Two-Face: ... FOREVER!!!)
So I neglected to repost my Two-Face Tuesday entry for last week, which is the modern reinvention of the Paul Sloane character. I'm rather proud of that one, so if you want, please do check it out over here at scans_daily in two parts: Part One and Part Two. Sometime, I plan to use them as the basis for a whole separate rant, but there they are for now.

For this week, I'm included an expanded version of my scans_daily post for you, my dear sugarplums.

Three weeks ago (with my "JLA teams up with Two-Face... wait what?!" post), [ profile] lamashtar asked if I was going to post this particular issue, or if it was "too schmaltzy." To be honest, I wasn't sure (of either)!

Who here has read the Hal Jordan SPECTRE series (which ran 27 issues from 2001 to 2003)? I'm genuinely curious as to what anybody made of it. Personally, it was one of the more frustrating reading experiences I've ever had.

Issue #5--the topic of this week's post--is no exception, namely because it features the unlikely meeting of my two all-time favorite characters. And the results are... well... I'm still not really sure even now.

Here's the thing: when I was a teen, I loved Hal Jordan. Not as Green Lantern (although that would come later), but rather as Parallax. Considering that Two-Face is my number one favorite, I loved the idea of a fallen hero striving for redemption and justice but always screwing it up by being so darn crazy. I wanted him to actually grow as a character, to be redeemed, even exonerated. Then they killed him off in a "heroic" manner to pay lip service to his fans, then get him out of the way so that Kyle could be a special little pumpkin.

So I was very excited by the prospect of Hal!Spectre. The character would finally get some development and redemption, and be a hero again! And it would be written by the great J.M. DeMatteis! Even better!

But the actual series was... well, I'm still not quite sure what it was. For one thing, Hal just doesn't work in this kind of context. But mainly... look, I'm an agnostic who loves the stories of religion but has no personal grasp on concepts like souls and karma beyond a layman's utilitarian knowledge. And reading THE SPECTRE, I felt bogged down in all the metaphysical wankery DeMatteis was packing into every issue. Just like with so much philosophy, I responded with a mixture of "so what?" and "SO BORED."

This was made especially frustrating when my two favorite characters actually met in the pages of THE SPECTRE #5. Surely, such an unlikely pairing-off was possible only in my fanboy imagination! At least, that was before Hal became the Spectre.

Crazy murderous ex-heroes, the question of redemption, alien ghost cop spirit guides, and metaphysical theological jibba-jabba behind the cut! )

Okay. So what do you make of this? Me, I just can't make heads or... I mean, I still don't know.

Like, the actual metaphysical stuff about karma meant absolutely nothing to me, but just flew right over my head. It all seemed so maddeningly vague: what old debts? We don't even know why poor Harvey has to suffer through this? What debts does he have to pay? How could he possibly have chosen this from a spiritual standpoint?

It was all so frustratingly unsatisfying. I suspect this could have been interesting if DeMatteis had paced it out over two or more parts, really explored what it meant for the sides to be separated like that.

If "good" Harvey (note the quotation marks) is still capable of violence, what would "big bad Harv" be capable of doing if he were unleashed? Really, it could be the Gotham version of Italo Calvino's THE CLOVEN VISCOUNT, wherein a man is split into his good and evil sides, both of whom are themselves capable of good and evil acts.

(forgive for the snobby literature reference; once I heard about the story in Mazzucchelli's brilliant graphic novel, ASTERIOS POLYP, I felt it was perfect for Harvey insight)

But no. Ultimately, this story feels too rushed, with only one insight to offer: "No, really: It Sucks to be Harvey Dent."

All that said, between this and their meeting in that JLA story, I'm in agreement with [ profile] nymphgalatea when she expressed a wish for a proper Hal/Harvey teamup. Because, she said, "Hal is so very pragmatic, and has no patience for the crazy, and Harvey would take a deep and abiding delight in fucking with his head."

Seriously, I would pay good money to see J. Michael Straczynski write this as an issue of THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD, considering how he wrote Two-Face in the TEEN TITANS story and Hal in the most recent issue of TB&TB (with Dr. Fate).
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
How do you like your "Hefleeze" now, [ profile] benchilada?

Similarly, via [ profile] mellifluous_ink: BREAKFAST CEREAL CORPS COLOR WAR. My favorite is Trix Rabbit as Larfleeze, although I sooner see Cap'n Crunch as Ganthet than a Rage Lantern (along with the original three chefs for Cinnamon Toast Crunch). But for the life of me, I can't think of any breakfast cereal mascot capable of rage. Well, other than Trix Rabbit finally snapping...

By the way, as I helped unpack the comic shop's shipment for tomorrow, I've read the new GL and BLACKEST NIGHT issues. Let me say right now, I bloody love Larfleeze. I hope he sticks around for awhile.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
I occasionally get automated e-mails this online talent agency type dealie I signed up for a couple years ago, back when I was trying to get professional acting goals.

You know how it works: it's free to sign up and post a profile--complete with headshots, resume, stats, and whatnot--and they automatically hook you up with a whole bunch of audition opportunities that fit your criteria. Of course, if you want to respond to any of them, you need to sign up for a paid account. Basically, it's just like online dating sites (and I still get e-mails from those old accounts too, for that matter).

Today, however, I got an e-mail that caught my attention. Apparently, they're casting major roles for the GREEN LANTERN movie with Ryan Reynolds. And I fit the criteria required for the role of the villain:

Submission Successful
09-18-09 11:54pm
Seeking 1 talent(s) for this role

A pathologist. He is cold and harsh. He is pretty despicable.

But here's a little more info on Dr. Hammond, for those not familiar with the guy... )

Now, here's the thing. Don't think I'm not suspicious and cynical about the whole audition notice. Allowing non-union actors to audition for the MAJOR roles of Abin Sur, Sinestro, Carol, and Hammond? Yeah, smells like bullshit to me. Although did a whole piece of it and Hammond's inclusion (written by my favorite joyless bastard, Devin Faraci, who hates all this Hal and GL anyway) so the auditions themselves seem legit.

But even if so, my chances are pretty frelling slim mainly for the fact that I have absolutely zero acting experience in film/TV. I'm purely theatre, and community/college theatre at that. I mean, I know I have it in me to play a creep, a sleaze, a cold and pathological villain. Just give me a good director, and I can pull it off. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've done roles like Hank in John Halder in GOOD in DOCTOR FAUSTUS and get comments from people who are so amazed to discover that, holy crap, I actually have range! I just wish I had video proof of this, but damn it, I have nothing!

Besides, my profile on that site is so ridiculously out of date that... well, I still have a full head of hair in my headshot, that's how long it's been. I haven't head headshots in years, just those Roy Cox glamor/publicity photos! I figured I couldn't possibly use any of those! Hell, the first set are virtually useless to me now due to the fact that, at the time, I was sporting a lame, sleazy goat... tee...

And then it hit me. Yes. Yes, I do have a picture to use, don't I?

So yeah, I know, I'm almost certainly not going to even get a call of interest, much less an audition out of this. And of course, getting my account canceled before the 7-day-trial-period is up will be a pain in the ass. But damn it, it'll be worth the trouble, even just to submit an anemic resume so that I can include this picture:

"Why, Miss Ferris, where do you think you're going? Don't bother answering. I already know."

God, I knew that horrible little perv-beard would come in handy one day.
thehefner: (Two-Face: Mounds! No Almond Joy!)
First off, GIP, courtesy of the amaaazing [ profile] disc_sophist


Behold... the cover of WEDNESDAY COMICS, plus *tons* of previews of the bloody amazing comic book goodness it shall contain )

I'm so nervous that this is going to flop, though. Response from fans has been a lot of concern about the oversized format and the price, capped off with this report from a recent convention:

At Saturday’s DC Nation panel, editors Ian Sattler and Brian Cunningham provided fans with a first-ever look at a printed copy of “Wednesday Comics.” The weekly, star-studded, 16-page comic produced on massive newsprint pages, was described as one of the most unusual, impressive, projects in DC’s recent history, a “Kramer’s Ergot” #7 with superheroes.

But DC Nation, or at least the cross section attending the panel, showed more interest in the tedium of DC continuity. Not a single question was asked about “Wednesday Comics.”



Holla at my GL flist buddies--particularly [ profile] nymphgalatea, [ profile] kali921, and [ profile] kagome654--What think you of James Robinson's depiction of Hal in these preview pages of JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRY FOR JUSTICE # 1?

I mean, I've been a bit unimpressed by Geoff Johns' take on Hal, so this suddenly proactive take on Hal is rather cool. But is it in character? It definitely seems to be more in keeping with the Hal that Parallax exploited, but that Hal wasn't really in character in the first place.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, when you look at this page, do you think, "BADASS" or do you think, "Wow, what a dickhole"?

Judge for yourself )

On one hand, hey, awesome, he's actually showing off leadership capabilities, and it's keeping with someone who has crazy huge amounts of willpower! On the other hand, even Scott Summers might think Hal should cool it down a little.

I look forward to seeing how this storyline pans out. Either way, I want smart-ass fun-loving wise-cracking Hal Jordan back. My ideal Hal is like the bastard child of John Crichton and James T. Kirk with liberal dashes of Bruce Campbell thrown in for good measure.


How Zatara brought peace to two warring kingdoms. )

... huh.

I can't even call crack on it, like Golden Age Wonder Woman, because damn, it actually seems damn well straightforward! So to speak.

And damn, Zatara is a sharp motherfucker. But then, he's the father of Zatanna, so he'd have to be. We need more dash and top hats in comics, says I.


The Robot 6 blog did a piece on "The 6 Comics That Made Us Cry," and folks have been responding with their favorites. For me, there have been several, but only one gets me choked up just thinking out it: the one-two punch of that issue of I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, when they find Ice in Hell.

First, when Guy Gardner, of all people, just keeps whispering, “Please come back, Tora. Please come back. Please come back.”

And second, at the end, when Bea and Guy hold each other, sobbing.

There was more genuine, heart-wrenching emotion in this silly comedic B-list superhero spin-off than in all of the INFINITE CRISIS titles going on at the same time. I’m getting misty just *thinking* about that issue.

What about you, folks? What comics have made you mist up or sob?
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
You were warned.


Who... I ask you, WHO is ready for THE BLACKEST NIGHT? )

Now, if I were truly bold and wanted to give this a serious Russian Roulette flavor, I'd have bought a pack of these and sprinkled them in with the appropriate colors. But no, alas. I want to have a good time. And really, that really requires someone else to laugh at you when you end up eating a Rotten Egg jelly bean. Besides, only about half of them are comparable with the ones listed above.

Regardless. Bring it on, DC. Bring. It. ON.
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Orange "Mine!")
I good and truly cannot understand how some people can be bitchy, complaining, and fanwanky about the upcoming GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT. Seriously, what's with these people?* Where's their sense of geek joy?

Like, take how DC is putting out full-page profiles on each of the Color Corps. Most recently, they featured the Orange Lanterns. Now, we knew the Oranges were driven by avarice and led by one in particular--Larfleeze, aka "Agent Orange"--but we didn't know what exactly made them stand out among the other Corps. Until now:

When this was posted over at scans_daily (the InsaneJournal version, which just isn't the same, damn it!), [ profile] box_in_the_box summed up my feelings rather well:

Of COURSE the Orange Lantern Corps would be a ONE-man corps, because he wouldn't want to SHARE it with anyone else.


It really, really is. It's shit like this which gets my geek heart giddy. This is a Grant-Morrison-level idea, but because it's being written by someone who actually gives a shit about characters as much as wacky ideas, it actually has the potential to be pulled off interestingly!!!

Box added, My only regret is that, if we can have Ruffles the Rage-Kitty, then Agent Orange SHOULD have been an anthropomorphic DUCK.

More to the point, a talking duck who speaks in a SCOTTISH accent, and wears SPATS.


Hell, I was saying that very thing! Scrooge, Gollum, and the FINDING NEMO seagulls (remember, the Orange Lantern(s/'s) main catch phrase? "MINE." No, really!), they all need to be Orange Lanterns. Even if it means they were killed and turned into avatars for Agent Orange.

In response to my quixotic plea for an LJ icon, [ profile] endis_ni made this greatness:

While s_d's resident undisputed master of all things Wonder Woman, the great [ profile] bluefall, made the magnificent icon you see here. She even made the other ones orange avatars! Brilliant touch!

But Mr. Box was not done with me yet:

Scrooge as a Green Lantern (yes, he's greedy as hell, but he also has hellacious willpower) versus Flintheart Glomgold as an Orange Lantern.


(Although imagining the Finding Nemo seagulls all wielding Orange Power Rings and saying, "MINE! MINE! MINE!" as they fly into battle? Is AWESOME.)

We then realized that, naturally, it follows that Donald Duck would be a Red Lantern, which certainly made me feel like a total shameful smarty-pants for thinking that no one could possibly have come up with something so unbelievably nerdy!

Which is when someone showed us this...


Dear god, but I love nerds.**

And for those who don't read comics, [ profile] filbypott has kindly provided a simple go-to explanation of the various Corps' D&D alignments:

Red: Chaotic Evil
Orange: Neutral Evil
Yellow: Lawful Evil
Green: Lawful Neutral (the Guardians, at least, if not individual GLs)
Blue: Lawful Good
Indigo: Neutral Good
Violet: Chaotic Good

The question of whether or not the Black Lanterns could be Black Lanterns Chaotic Neutral is yet to be answered, but there you go.

*Like, okay, so "Willpower" and "Death" aren't really emotions. It's a valid point. Now shut up, stop nitpicking, and enjoy the awesomeness. Sheesh.

**Coincidentally, there were not one but TWO videos of Two-Face as a Sinestro Corpsman, but they're not worth posting here. By the way, [ profile] suburbfabulous and [ profile] tragical_mirth: in light (har) of the revelations that the Blue Lanterns' powers are dependent upon being in close proximity to a Green Lantern, I fear practicality must top symbolism. Therefore, I acquiesce: Harvey Dent's good side would be a Green--not Blue--Lantern.

And yet, I dunno... I'd think a half-blue, half-red costume would look snazzier than half-green, half-red. The latter would look like Christmas Two-Face, while the former would match my eyes!
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
Over at [ profile] noscans_daily, mod [ profile] stubbleupdate proposed a "drinking" game to play as we read along with the upcoming DC-Universe-spanning GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT.

Little did he realize the true epic that was about to unfold... )


This will be the best crossover ever. Assuming I can still reach the pages by the end of it.

*By the way, [ profile] benchilada, I'm somewhat tempted to get these and have a game of jelly bean chicken with you when I come visit in August. Of course, knowing you, you've probably shotgunned an entire pack of the Bertie Botts beans.
thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)
Filling in for a day at the comic shop, and as I helped check in tomorrow's shipment, it occurs to me that there are some damn good comics coming out that people oughta be reading.

You should know that these four comics are awesome, just in case you were not already aware... )
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
New costume idea: Harvey Dent as a member of the Blue and Red Lantern Corps.

Think about it: a ring on each hand, with a split costume, but not evenly split down the middle. Rather, both sides are fighting back and forth for supremacy, with mini red and blue glow sticks strategically inserted in the schisms, hinting at the literal internal battle for his heart. (No mask, though; I mean, gee, I wonder who he could possibly be under that?)

If I were able to do Comic Con this year (and thus not touring the Fringe circuit at the time), I'd so be all over this glorious waste of time and money. This would be the year to do it too. Corps' t-shirts were selling like crazy at New York Comic Con, so GL-related stuff is totally hip right now.

Maybe I'll consider it for next year, assuming that THE BLACKEST NIGHT doesn't do for the various Corps what SECRET INVASION did for Skrulls.

If nothing else, I need fanart of this, pronto.
thehefner: (Blame Sinestro!)

In this week's GREEN LANTERN comics, we were introduced to the Red Lantern Corps, an intergalactic force akin to the rage infected zombies of 28 DAYS LATER, but given incredibly powerful power rings. And this power manifests, infected-style, by vomiting up blood. I feel like the only one making the 28 DAYS LATER connection, but it seems obvious to me.

I'm going somewhere with this, bear with me.

It's all building up to an epic war between the various Corps along the color spectrum. For those who don't read GL, all this must sound like the stupidest goddamn thing ever. Or at least, with a "Rainbow War," the *gayest* goddamn thing ever. And yet somehow, in practice, it is utterly goddamn jaw-droppingly awesome, space opera on a grander scale than any I've seen before. You'll just have to take my word for it.

You see, the Green Lanterns' power derived from willpower. The Sinestro Corps--the evil Corps, formed by the renegade GL Sinestro, natch--their yellow energy is derived from fear. The Sapphire Lanterns' violet powers are love (albeit the Zamaron's own brand of love), the Orange Lanterns are avarice, the Indigo Lanterns are compassion, the Blue Lanterns are hope, and the Black Lanterns are, of course, death. Death in the form of space zombies with power rings.

(No, it's awesome. Really, I swear to god.)

But the Red Lanterns... the Red Lanterns are rage and hatred. And this past Wednesday, on New Comics Day, the Red Lanterns finally struck with their newest member.

His name is supposedly "Dexstar." We* call him "Ruffles." And we love Ruffles the Red Lantern.

And as someone observed, it makes perfect sense. After all, few creatures in existence can hate quite like cats can hate.

See? Told you it was awesome.

*Actually, he was dubbed "Ruffles" by a guy on scans_daily who I have held a bit of a grudge against ever since he preferred being dismissive and slinging mud at me rather than actually take up on my offers to have a real discussion. Don't you just hate it when people like that come around and say something great?
thehefner: (Green Lantern: Bling Bling!)
Over the past few days, it seems there's been a sudden resurgence in Hal Jordan hatred on [ profile] scans_daily. I'm not surprised, but I'm frankly disappointed. I don't wanna get all butthurt, but damn it, I'd thought we were beyond this bullcrap after all these years. Let me tell you, nothing stirs up passion of all extremes like the Green Lantern mythos.

Valerie D'Orazio wrote an excellent essay recently as to how fervor for fictional characters can equal that for religious and political beliefs, and in my opinion, this trend is nowhere more apparent than in GL. For the past fifteen years, the feelings for Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner have been the closest thing comic fans have had to the abortion issue.

Especially Hal Jordan. I have honestly never known a major iconic character of comics so widely (or at least, loudly) loathed. Many of the complaints heaped upon him are the same as heaped upon those who (deeply and also loudly) hate Superman: boring, whitebread, arrogant, "Captain Perfect," and so on and so on.

But unlike Superman, I can't rebuke these complaints and defend my position. Not in a way that'll really matter to them. Because, as I realized, my love for that character is more complex and personal than anything I can sum up in a single comic appearance.

Not too long ago, in attempt to explain these thoughts to [ profile] angrylemur--who didn't hate Hal, but certainly found him the least interesting of all GLs--I wrote the following essay. We were considering maybe posting it (and our subsequent e-mails back and forth) somewhere, if we could find an appropriate venue. I'd like to add scans to back it up. But for now, here it is, for those who are interested.

So okay, let me see if I can put into words why I--me personally--love Hal Jordan. )

Maybe sometime I'll make accompanying scans and put this on [ profile] scans_daily, but I know several responses will just end with me being further frustrated. I know I have a way of mistaking disagreement with personal insult, which is because I take everything personally. Especially Hal, obviously. In my own way, I too am guilty of icon-worship with all the other wackos, even if I lack the virulent fire.

Hopefully with a GREEN LANTERN movie finally in the works (you can see some official concept art right here), we'll get a depiction of Hal that finally does the character justice. Justice in the way I've seen him, justice that will make others go, "Ohhh, so that's why Hal Jordan is Hal fucking Jordan."

Then again, not even Robert Downey Jr's rightly-universally-beloved depiction of Tony Stark seemed to warm anybody to his much-maligned comic counterpart, another great character twisted and misused by a cynical comic company looking for shock-value controversy. Ah well. I suppose such unchanging prejudices won't really matter if the film is 1.) good and 2.) a hit. I guess that's all for which I can really hope.

In brightest day. In blackest night.

September 2012

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