Nerds Gone Wild: the Orange Lanterns Edition

[thehefner]

I good and truly cannot understand how some people can be bitchy, complaining, and fanwanky about the upcoming GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT. Seriously, what's with these people?* Where's their sense of geek joy?

Like, take how DC is putting out full-page profiles on each of the Color Corps. Most recently, they featured the Orange Lanterns. Now, we knew the Oranges were driven by avarice and led by one in particular--Larfleeze, aka "Agent Orange"--but we didn't know what exactly made them stand out among the other Corps. Until now:



When this was posted over at scans_daily (the InsaneJournal version, which just isn't the same, damn it!), box_in_the_box summed up my feelings rather well:

Of COURSE the Orange Lantern Corps would be a ONE-man corps, because he wouldn't want to SHARE it with anyone else.

BRILLIANT. :)

It really, really is. It's shit like this which gets my geek heart giddy. This is a Grant-Morrison-level idea, but because it's being written by someone who actually gives a shit about characters as much as wacky ideas, it actually has the potential to be pulled off interestingly!!!

Box added, My only regret is that, if we can have Ruffles the Rage-Kitty, then Agent Orange SHOULD have been an anthropomorphic DUCK.

More to the point, a talking duck who speaks in a SCOTTISH accent, and wears SPATS.

COME ON! SCROOGE MCDUCK AS THE ORANGE LANTERN - YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE THIS, BITCHES.

Hell, I was saying that very thing! Scrooge, Gollum, and the FINDING NEMO seagulls (remember, the Orange Lantern(s/'s) main catch phrase? "MINE." No, really!), they all need to be Orange Lanterns. Even if it means they were killed and turned into avatars for Agent Orange.

In response to my quixotic plea for an LJ icon, endis_ni made this greatness:



While s_d's resident undisputed master of all things Wonder Woman, the great bluefall, made the magnificent icon you see here. She even made the other ones orange avatars! Brilliant touch!

But Mr. Box was not done with me yet:

Scrooge as a Green Lantern (yes, he's greedy as hell, but he also has hellacious willpower) versus Flintheart Glomgold as an Orange Lantern.

THEY WOULD TOTALLY BE LIKE HAL AND SINESTRO.

(Although imagining the Finding Nemo seagulls all wielding Orange Power Rings and saying, "MINE! MINE! MINE!" as they fly into battle? Is AWESOME.)

We then realized that, naturally, it follows that Donald Duck would be a Red Lantern, which certainly made me feel like a total shameful smarty-pants for thinking that no one could possibly have come up with something so unbelievably nerdy!

Which is when someone showed us this...

...

Dear god, but I love nerds.**

And for those who don't read comics, filbypott has kindly provided a simple go-to explanation of the various Corps' D&D alignments:

Red: Chaotic Evil
Orange: Neutral Evil
Yellow: Lawful Evil
Green: Lawful Neutral (the Guardians, at least, if not individual GLs)
Blue: Lawful Good
Indigo: Neutral Good
Violet: Chaotic Good

The question of whether or not the Black Lanterns could be Black Lanterns Chaotic Neutral is yet to be answered, but there you go.




*Like, okay, so "Willpower" and "Death" aren't really emotions. It's a valid point. Now shut up, stop nitpicking, and enjoy the awesomeness. Sheesh.

**Coincidentally, there were not one but TWO videos of Two-Face as a Sinestro Corpsman, but they're not worth posting here. By the way, suburbfabulous and tragical_mirth: in light (har) of the revelations that the Blue Lanterns' powers are dependent upon being in close proximity to a Green Lantern, I fear practicality must top symbolism. Therefore, I acquiesce: Harvey Dent's good side would be a Green--not Blue--Lantern.

And yet, I dunno... I'd think a half-blue, half-red costume would look snazzier than half-green, half-red. The latter would look like Christmas Two-Face, while the former would match my eyes!

Comments

[tragical-mirth.livejournal.com]

There are way too #%@#$ many bugpeople in Green Lantern comics.

So which one is 'violet' - is that the Star Sapphire color? I thought they were pink.

I always do Chaotic Good DnD. Makes sense I'd end up a Star Sapphire. *headdesk*

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Perhaps this is the response to decades of STAR TREK creating a universe of humanoids?

They are indeed violet, at the end of one side of the spectrum (therefore, the polar opposites of the Red rage Lanterns).

[tragical-mirth.livejournal.com]

There are way too many bugpeople in SciFi in general.

I think I could probably blame 1960s Doctor Who rather than Trek, though, and their shoddy BBC-budget costumes. :P

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

SINESTRO CORPS DALEKS.

I must see them now.

[tragical-mirth.livejournal.com]

That would kinda rock.

As a leeeeeeeetle kid, I remember being annoyed by Sinestro because he had a MAGENTA head the way the old ink used to bleed on the page. ;) It was SO UNBELIEVABLY OFF-PUTTING.

Now, um... <.<... kinda hot. Yeah. Anyway.

[nectarousness.livejournal.com]

Mmm, Lawful Good. Mmm. Blue.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

They're kinda totally awesome too so far. Dang it, I keep waffling between having Harvey's good side be Blue or Green (and I think the GL's absolutely fall under Lawful Good too, so much so that there could be a dispute about which of the two are more neutral over good).

[nectarousness.livejournal.com]

COUGHblue'sabettercolorCOUGH Green reminds me of The Hulk and Shrek. And that's not good.

Sadly I know nothing about Green Lantern and all of that so yeah...

Fashion-statement-wise, Harvey would totally rock blue and red better than green and red. In fact, blue & red are the darn colors I associate Harvey with.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Blue *is* a better color, but the Green Lantern Corps are kinda absolutely awe-inspiringly awesome, soooooo... it's a toughie.

Stick with me, kid! We'll get you good and excited about GL and everything! For the past fifteen years, my number one devotion has gone back and forth between Harvey Dent and GL Hal Jordan. Just to give you an idea how important it was/is to this nerdy boy.

See, yeah, blue just seems to fit the spirit of him better! I mean, post-crazy Harvey, who's now half a man! The old pre-crazy Harvey would have been green all the way, but then there *is* the argument that it takes an assload of willpower to keep Big Bad Harv at bay. But that's assuming that he *is* keeping Big Bad Harv at bay, and rather isn't trapped in a stalemate deadlock that keeps either one of them from overpowering the other, because they're both equally half of a human being?

Ow my nerd brain.

[nectarousness.livejournal.com]

I need to get into reading more comics. I feel like I missed out a lot. I'm only just beginning to scratch the surface. Okay, I lied. I used to read Marvel comics a lot (I'm guilty as charged for having a crush on Spider-Man for years when I was younger) and I've only just begun to find out what a strange and mystical cluster-fark DC is. D:

And take it easy there, champ! Exploding brains aren't easy to clean up.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yyyyyyyeah, it's kind of a mess. And bizarrely enough, the moment the GL books kicked off from "eh, not bad" to "HOLY CRAP WOW" was when they incorporated elements of ALL the major continuity-heavy and crappy crossovers over twenty years into one epic storyline with "The Sinestro Corps War." On one hand, so incredibly not new-reader friendly. On the other hand, they made it work.

Eh, screw continuity, you could probably still pick it up and be fine. Be on the lookout at your local library! Libraries have been getting better and better about stocking graphic novels!

I think I may have taken my exploded-brain-self and spazzed my Blue/Green dilemma at another person in the vain hope of getting advice and insight.

Shit, maybe I should just flip a coin.

[nectarousness.livejournal.com]

... Just don't bet on tails.

Yeah, I'm always looking out for new and exciting things at the bookstores and what not. Once I get myself a job, I'll actually be able to BUY what I read.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

If you ever want recommendations, know that comic pimpery is the one thing I truly miss about working at the comic shop. It's still a passion of mine, customizing folks' comic experience. Were you in the area, I would all but thrust large chunks of my collection in your hands and demand, "MAKE TIME."

[victoria-wayne.livejournal.com]

I am well and truly stoked for Blackest Night. Everything I've seen that might have been a little silly is well balance with epic awesome. And that's just great. It might have something to do with Green Lantern Corps being the most consistantly good/entertaining thing I'm reading.

Relatedly, this post is the most entertaining thing on my flist today by far. :D

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY! It's just silly enough to keep it all well and truly FUN!

I agree GLC has been stellar, even better than the GL book proper! And dang it, as a Hal fan, that admittance stings! Ironically, my only complaint is the creeping realization/fear that I don't entirely like Johns' take on Hal. Dang it, he's my favorite superhero, but that just... it's just not quite the Hal I remember!

And thanks for saying so! It makes me feel a little less guilty for not putting it behind a cut. Some things just need to reach the masses whether they want to see it or not! ;p

[gnort.livejournal.com]

Scrooge as a Green Lantern (yes, he's greedy as hell, but he also has hellacious willpower) versus Flintheart Glomgold as an Orange Lantern.


Don Rosa needs to come out of retirement to write this! At the very least, Geoff Johns should write it and use Rosa as a consultant.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Last time I saw Rosa at a convention (Baltimore, about three years ago), he was doing sketches. If I can track him down, I will SO commission this.

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

I've gotten a few of the individual comics of the Green Lantern and Corps lately, but I'm just waiting for it the whole story to finish and come out in trade paperback. Then I will happily sit down and read it-I love just flipping through the bit I have read and looking at all the different Lanterns in detail-all the wacky aliens/creatures must be so much fun to design.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good idea! In the meantime, have you read, like all the CRISISes, THE DEATH AND RETURN OF SUPERMAN, and the Alan Moore collection of DC Comics stories with the GLC short stories? I'm sue libraries carry them, so save your money if you can, but definitely give 'em a read if you haven't yet (and I'm sure you've read at one least or two!)

They all tie in, especially the Alan Moore ones, as Moore's the one who came up with "The Blackest Night" prophesy.

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

I've read the Alan Moore DC collection (the older version, not the newer one with Killing Joke and Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow included-which I'm psyched that they're finally bringing out the Superman story in its own volume, I've been wanting to read that story for ages), but I have not read the actual Death/Return of Superman, nor the Crises. How many Crises can one universe contain?

[filbypott.livejournal.com]

I think the Black Lanterns would also be Neutral Evil, honestly.

Though I forgot to mention the True Neutral Gray Lanterns and Chaotic Neutral Polka Dot Lanterns. Sadly, they're too busy sitting there noncommittally and having impromptu tea parties, respectively, to get involved.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Probably, yeah, but that throws off your beautifully-specific alignment scheme!

Yes, the True Neutral Gray Lanterns, and their arch-nemesis (even if they don't realize it), Zapp Brannigan! "I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me."

Lanterns with more than one color? Sir, you open the door to the Ludicrous Lanterns who would go in full plaid. That way lies the next Crisis.

[kagome654.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm so happy that you got your Orange Lantern/'Finding Nemo' seagull icon. Awesome.

I good and truly cannot understand how some people can be bitchy, complaining, and fanwanky about the upcoming GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT. Seriously, what's with these people?* Where's their sense of geek joy?

Well, ignoring the more reasoned 'some people want/expect different things from their comics that 'Rainbow Wars' isn't shaping up to deliver...,' I will remind you that some comic fans just like to bitch. About everything. Particularly if it's related to Hal/Barry/Didio/The Silver Age/Any team other than Young Justice and the Supperbuddies/Johns/and so on...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Thank you for helping give me perspective here. I'm like, sheesh, you guys are seriously harshing my buzz here! And it gives certain knee-jerk Hal-haters something to pointlessly backlash against. Sheesh.

I mean, now they're getting their knickers in a twist because Ted or the Dibneys might be Black Lanterns? It's like, uh, guys, DUH? What's the problem here?

Wow...

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

...a whole lot has changed in the Green Lantern title since I was last reading.

Of course, I was last reading my father's Silver Age stuff... so... yeah... :)

All these different colors, they could be really really awesome or quite incredibly silly. Glad to hear it's skewing toward the former and not the latter. At least for now. (And on the silly end, yes to the whole Scrooge McDuck idea.)

Re: Wow...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Geoff Johns is totally reshaping the entire GL mythos. In some cases, he's doing out-and-out retcons, which I don't entirely approve of generally, but seems only necessary for what he's doing here. People who complain, it seems, are just haters complaining about retcons just because they can.

It's just silly enough that it works and becomes total fun. I mean, when you kick off from the basis that the main bad guy is named "Sinestro" and has that mustache, yet was called that before he ever went evil, I think you gotta keep your sense of humor to help fully enjoy the rest.

Because really, when they first announced all the different Lanterns, they did in in a huge two-page spread of them all in epic cosmic war. If they'd just *told* us, reaction might be like, "Wait, what? Lame." But seeing that, pretty much everybody was, "... AWWWWWWWWWESOME."

Re: Wow...

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

I remember Sinestro from the Silver Age stuff. No one back then ever seemed to bat an eye at the silly names... and since that's kind of what I was raised on, I think I'm OK with it most of the time. :)

But, really, what were his parents thinking? (Of course, I also wonder that about a lot of celebrities who give their kids odd names... and we won't even talk about all the places that are actually working on legislation to stop parents from naming their kids after brand names and whatnot... so maybe Sinestro isn't that odd or silly in the scheme of things. Except for the mustache.)

I really do like the idea of multiple lantern types. I think it fleshes things out nicely and adds a lot more texture. Just too bad it can't be done without the retcon. (Then again, DC and continuity have never been good friends... that's why I read Marvel. At least until they parted ways with their decades of continuity, too.)

Some days I wish I was still able to really keep up on all the comics stuff. The new Green Lantern developments are definitely triggering that desire.

Re: Wow...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hey, maybe "Sinestro" means "warm friendly puppy" in Korugarian! It's lost in translation!

Well, some of the things Johns is retconning need to be retconned. Like Parallax. I admit there's a certain poignancy in Hal going crazy and becoming an all-powerful cosmic menace with the best of intentions, but since it was born out of an utterly shitty story that just forced him to suddenly go nuts with no warning, tossing him aside to make way for the new, young, hip GL of the 90's...

... well, frankly, I was okay with retconning Parallax to being a giant yellow space bug of pure fear. It sounds dumb, and some people still think so. Me, I prefer to see it as revealing that Hal was possessed by Stephen King's IT.

Re: Wow...

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

Seeing how the word sinister comes from the Latin word for left-handed, I believe we are well within our rights to start calling Sinestro "Lefty".

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Where are the profiles of the different Corps? In what issue of what?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

They've been showing them on DC's blog, but they'll all be published in the free GL issue given away at Free Comic Book Day (our store already has those comics for the big day, and they got me a copy).

http://dcublog.dccomics.com/

And someone scanned the Black Lanterns here:

http://asylums.insanejournal.com/scans_daily/246550.html

So the only one yet to be leaked online is the Indigo Tribe, but they didn't reveal any pertinent details there anyway. Their history, powers, and weaknesses are still pretty much listed as "unknown," IIRC.