The Songs of Johnny Go

After years and years of searching and hoping, someone has FINALLY posted the entirety of Derek Jacobi in CYRANO DE BERGERAC (with the translation by Anthony Burgess of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE fame):



This just barely surpasses RICHARD II as my favorite Jacobi performance of all time. The balcony scene never fails to bring tears to my eyes once he gets to, "Oh GOD how I love you!" Furthermore, this is possibly my personal favorite ever production of CYRANO DE BERGERAC, above the Ferrer and Depardieu film versions and the lovely Geriant Wynn Davies stage version here in DC a few years back. Anyone seen the Kevin Klein version with Jennifer Garner?

I'm hoping to talk Henchgirl into cuddling around the laptop to watch this sometime. She fears it'll be too depressing, but I'm like, "No, no, it's a tragedy, granted, but one that sweeps the soul in grand dramatic swashbuckly flair! CYRANO isn't just depressing! It's magnificently depressing!"

Found via bagelofdeath.

NSFW, and you'll need to jump through a minor hurdle to prove your age, but it's worth it.



I showed this to fiveseconddelay last night. He wanted to watch it twice, which I think rather says something. Then I followed it up by showing him THE RULES OF ATTRACTION, which I was pleasantly surprised to discover he didn't hate.

But yes, absolutely, Kim: I don't know how Miles Fisher could top this, but I'd still love to see him try a BATMAN BEGINS vid. Or, I dunno, do a dark and sinister take on NEWSIES.

Speaking of Christian Bale, it was nice to discover that TERMINATOR: SALVATION wasn't as horrible as I'd expected. It's surprisingly enjoyable in parts. Anton Yelchin was easily the film's highlight; dear god, he actually managed to channel Michael Biehn, it was nutty.

Still, it's fascinating to consider the changes made to the script at the behest of Bale, and the original script that would have made TERMINATOR: SALVATION better, if not more interesting. If I'm actively bothered by anything, it's that this demoted Yelchin's Kyle Reese from supporting lead to supporting character.

I'm at the beach house in Rehoboth Beach for just a day, as I gotta be back down to Washington College to see Neil Gaiman.

I swung by WAC yesterday to see the great beatonna, an hour detour that seemed like a much better idea at the time. When I got there, I realized that 1.) I have nothing I'd want to say to Kate Beaton, nor anything for her to sign, 2.) I'm too damn shy to ask for a drawing in this atmosphere, in the crammed O'Neill Lit House with all these people here, 3.) she was doing a Q&A, and I hate Q&A's because there are always one or two yahoos who ask totally inane questions that make me want to claw out my own brain, and 4.) holy crap, is that the creepy guy from the Georgetown comic shop where I worked? Does he go to Washington College now?!?! RUN. RUN AWAY.

So that was rather a waste of a couple hours. Thankfully, the HopeMobile comes equipped with a six-disc CD changer, and I had a recording of THE PRESTIGE to keep me company. So far, I'm into it WAY more than I was the movie, which still leaves a bad taste in my mouth even today.



bitemetechie alerted me to the following quote sleepily uttered by her roommate, darkestnova:

"John is our magic song machine. Like a jukebox that doesn't take quarters. Or requests. He's shiny."

Well, I do have a tendency to randomly burst into song. I wish someone else could hear the background music whenever it starts up!



For example, I've recently found myself singing Laurie Anderson's "Let X=X," which has since become one of my favorite things ever. Why does this bizarre nonsense song make me so goddamned happy?

Really, I can't believe I've gone this long without knowing Laurie Anderson. I mean, just look at her!



She's... god, she's like a female Agent Smith who decided to become a performance artist in the 80's.

By the way, anybody who owns and/or likes her seminal album BIG SCIENCE is strongly encouraged to go on iTunes and track down a song from 2007, exclusively online. It's called "Big Science 2," obviously a sequel to the title track, and it's easily one of my favorite songs of hers so far.

Man, dare I splurge $37 to buy her epic four-disc UNITED STATES LIVE album?

I didn't think I could love FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS more than I already did. I maintain that it is the modern successor to Jim Henson's muppets, and dearly deserves wider recognition. Especially today, now that many people are confused while others are dying of awestruck laughter:



Utterly brilliant. And that they gave the last word to Cheese... I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!

Okay, back to the road now.

This has been making the rounds on the internets--people asking "Is this for real?" "Has Dan Aykroyd gone completely mad?" "Is this viral marketing for GHOSTBUSTERS 3?" "No, seriously, has he gone fucking crazy?"--but so far, I've yet to see it on LJ.

Let's rectify that.



I showed this to fiveseconddelay, expecting him at any point to go, "Okay, I've seen enough" and indicate that he was finished humoring me. Instead, as I did when I first saw it, he just watched all the way to the end. He said, "It's like... you keep waiting for the punchline. It keeps you enthralled, and you keep waiting for the joke and it... never comes. And now I want a bottle."

And yes, it's real. On Halloween, John Hodgman performed the noble task of conducting a personal taste test. You're a god among men, Hodg-Man.



Crazy or not, I too want a bottle. You've sold me, Ray.

Am back. I have a veritable assload to post about, which I'll get to over the next couple of days. First, though, I will say that you guys who were worried that I was getting sickly-thin can worry no more, for I have finally consumed White Castle. Daily. For four days.

In the meantime... well, just watch this video wherein Ron Howard takes off his shirt, puts on wigs, and reunites with Griffith and Winkler in character. For Obama.

Been meaning to post this for almost a week now.

A-Ha's "Take On Me," redone with literal lyrics that match the video.



My only criticism is that the ending is kinda weak. I think they missed a prime opportunity for an ALTERED STATES shout-out, even if only nerds like me would get it.

Still, I've seen this five times now. I reckon by the fifteenth time it'll stop being awesome. Maybe.

Between this and introducing angrylemur to the magnificence that is Michael Mann's MANHUNTER, it's been a good week for 80's-tasticness.

... because it was in that exact kind of environment that I find makes great talent."

Speaking of videos that may not be for everybody but utterly delight John Hefner...



Yes, my friends, they actually made a HEARTS OF DARKNESS style "documentary" (done as a parody of Werner Herzog! WERNER HERZOG PARODY, PEOPLE!) about what happened behind the scenes of the ill-fated war epic TROPIC THUNDER. Featuring all-new scenes of the characters in character*, especially Downey Jr.** Did I mention Werner Herzog parody? Lord knows this isn't for all tastes, but it's like porn for John Hefner. You can download it through iTunes from here for FREE, which you should do, go now.***

I've gotta say, I'm rather disappointed that TROPIC THUNDER has been met with such a mixed reception. While I do think that it didn't go as scathing as it should have gone, thereby preventing it from being a true classic, I thought there actually was a good deal of substance behind the jokes (and while there were a couple lags, I was in pain from laughing so hard in places).

For example, David Chen at SlashFilm wrote a fascinating essay about TROPIC THUNDER's themes on white cultural appropriation, thoughts which were furthermore expanded upon by everyone's favorite bastard, Devin from CHUD.com. Reading the comments sections on both--which I don't recommend in general for anyone who likes their brain cells--indicate just how mixed the reception is, even after the excellent points Chen and Devin raise.

I had thought of it as a big film that I liked a lot, but which failed to achieve true greatness. But if the reception is so tepid and mixed, shit, maybe someday we'll look back on TROPIC THUNDER as an underappreciated gem, much the same way we do GALAXY QUEST. Or, for that matter, ZOOLANDER.


*Holy crap, but I never realized till now just how much Steve Coogan with long hair eerily resembles slaversbane. Like, crazy so, just blonder and pastier. There's even a moment where I swear to god he looks like he's reenacting "Gotta beat my dad, gotta beat my dad, gotta fuck my mom, gotta fuck my mom, raise the kids, they're EVIL! EVIL KIDS! EVIL!"

**Makes you wonder just how much unused footage there was. Really, Downey is just hypnotic in this film, no matter what he's doing.

***Oh my god, Herzog fans, go to www.rainofmadness.com and read the blog aloud in Herzog voice. It's comedy gold, people.

Hellboy on INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO:



God, can we just have Ron Perelman go on the talk show circuit (right down to Rachel Ray's cooking show) in costume and character as Hellboy? That would make me a happy panda.

Everyone here is going to go see HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY this weekend, right?

It doesn't matter if you didn't see or didn't like the original HELLBOY. It really doesn't. By all accounts, HELLBOY II has far more in common with PAN'S LABYRINTH, with several sources hailing it as a magnificent next step for Mr. Del Toro on the way to directing THE HOBBIT. This film is supposedly nothing short of fantastic.

So go. Everyone who loves ass-kicking fantasy, everyone who gets a little moist thinking of David Bowie as the Goblin King or the entire Mos Eisley Cantina scene, go see, support, and love HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY. This film cost more than the first one made, so it needs the love and support.

Go. Friday. Go.

I was cackling with laughter so hard from this, I think I disturbed the tenant upstairs having her usual loud sex. I couldn't help myself. This is brilliant.





And while we're posting videos...

Cracked.com ran an article on shows that were thankfully canceled after just one episode, and one of these shows was a little something called VIVA LAUGHLIN, featuring Hugh Jackman.

This just came out, mind you, and was already canceled, particularly after the New York Times wondered if Viva Laughlin could be "the worst show in the history of television." Then again, I'm currently pissed at the New York Times for panning BEOWULF, so there we go.

Anyway, Cracked sets up this clip by saying, "Watch this clip. If you're still not sure why it was canceled, watch it again. Just keep watching it."



Sure, maybe this wouldn't work as a real show.

But I tell you what, trade the Stones for Sinatra, and this is EXACTLY what Johnny Go sees when he closes his eyes.