The Songs of Johnny Go

Had I discovered this yesterday, it would have been included in my "Patton Oswalt on Jason Statham" post. But as it is, I think it's finally time I did a full post about the wonder... the glory... the utter majesty that is... "ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER."

( Cut for those sensitive souls who cannot handle the awesome. )

droidboy010101 suggested that we figure out a way to do interpretive performances of ZMF's work. I'd buy that for a dollar.

I have thought of a new thing that would make the world a much, much better place.

You see, not that long ago, I realized how dearly, desperately I wished to see John C. McGinley play the Green Goblin. Think about it. You know this to be perfect. He even has the hair!

But no, that's not the thing I mean specifically.

Last night, I was remembering how much I love everyone's favorite Cox in pretty much everything he does, even little things like his voice-over work as the Atom in JUSTICE LEAGUE. Particularly in the episode "Dark Heart," which was written by one of my personal idols to follow if I ever truly wish to have fans who scare the utter crap out of me: warrenellis.

Because really, Warren Ellis writing superhero scripts for John C. McGinley results in nothing but greatness. And it's in the little things, really, like the Atom lying face-down, not moving after beating some huge monster (well, in a petri dish). What other duo is so perfectly suited to write and deliver Ray's line:

"I'm going to lay here for a while, Katie. I'm old now, and I get tired."

Really, the little things shouldn't be enough. There needs to be more. There MUST be more, if the world is ever to be whole.

And that's... when it hit me.

In a better world, we would already have John C. McGinley performing this entire scene:

( Always the same. I have to do everything myself. Typical. )

And by the way, later in the same issue, we have him beat the holy crap out of a character who pathetically squeaks, "Mommy." To which Norman replies, flinging a pumpkin bomb, "YOU DON'T HAVE A MOMMY! A PIG COUGHED AND YOU FELL OUT!"

You know, after writing this story, Ellis (who does a hell of a lot of for-hire superhero work for someone who claims to hate superheroes, and what's more, he always does great work), commented on scans_daily: "To my surprise, I have found that I could seriously write a book called NORMAN OSBORN for ages... I could write a book called NORMAN OSBORN that was just him walking around delivering Evil Madman Monologues."

A humble suggestion, Herr Ellis? Since even your musical-comedy-disliking heart was won over by DR. HORRIBLE, might I suggest following suit in that format and just giving John C. McGinley a goblin costume, a webcam, and just letting the magic happen? I would personally fund such an endeavor.



EDIT: I'm ever so sorry for the stretched page. I hate when people do that too. But I think you'll agree the reasons for why make it worthwhile.