I'm so glad I never washed this particular costume. Smells like death, blondes, and victory.

[thehefner]

I have thought of a new thing that would make the world a much, much better place.

You see, not that long ago, I realized how dearly, desperately I wished to see John C. McGinley play the Green Goblin. Think about it. You know this to be perfect. He even has the hair!

But no, that's not the thing I mean specifically.

Last night, I was remembering how much I love everyone's favorite Cox in pretty much everything he does, even little things like his voice-over work as the Atom in JUSTICE LEAGUE. Particularly in the episode "Dark Heart," which was written by one of my personal idols to follow if I ever truly wish to have fans who scare the utter crap out of me: warrenellis.

Because really, Warren Ellis writing superhero scripts for John C. McGinley results in nothing but greatness. And it's in the little things, really, like the Atom lying face-down, not moving after beating some huge monster (well, in a petri dish). What other duo is so perfectly suited to write and deliver Ray's line:

"I'm going to lay here for a while, Katie. I'm old now, and I get tired."

Really, the little things shouldn't be enough. There needs to be more. There MUST be more, if the world is ever to be whole.

And that's... when it hit me.

In a better world, we would already have John C. McGinley performing this entire scene:
















And by the way, later in the same issue, we have him beat the holy crap out of a character who pathetically squeaks, "Mommy." To which Norman replies, flinging a pumpkin bomb, "YOU DON'T HAVE A MOMMY! A PIG COUGHED AND YOU FELL OUT!"

You know, after writing this story, Ellis (who does a hell of a lot of for-hire superhero work for someone who claims to hate superheroes, and what's more, he always does great work), commented on scans_daily: "To my surprise, I have found that I could seriously write a book called NORMAN OSBORN for ages... I could write a book called NORMAN OSBORN that was just him walking around delivering Evil Madman Monologues."

A humble suggestion, Herr Ellis? Since even your musical-comedy-disliking heart was won over by DR. HORRIBLE, might I suggest following suit in that format and just giving John C. McGinley a goblin costume, a webcam, and just letting the magic happen? I would personally fund such an endeavor.



EDIT: I'm ever so sorry for the stretched page. I hate when people do that too. But I think you'll agree the reasons for why make it worthwhile.

Comments

You're right... that would be...

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

...Frakkin' amazing. :)

I think old Norm there has gotten even crazier than he was back when I was reading stuff regularly.

What issue of what is that all from?

Re: You're right... that would be...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

THUNDERBOLTS # 120. You see, in Tony Stark's infinite wisdom, he created his own Suicide Squad style team of supervillains on the government's payroll (and wearing exploding collars to keep them in line) to round up unregistered superheroes, a team that includes Bullseye and Venom, and he gets Norman Osborn to head them up. *golf clap*

Once you turn your brain off, the book is quite delightful. Thankfully, I turn my brain off whenever I pick up pretty much any Marvel book these days that isn't NOVA, THE INCREDIBLE HERCULES, or THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST. Because if my brain were on, then my anger blood would be pumping, and I would soon become a very unpleasant person to be around. It's self-preservation, you understand.

[jbacardi.livejournal.com]

Hey, wasn't that the Justice League Unlimited episode in which Wonder Woman places the Atom between her boobies for safekeeping? That was one of the top ten things I've seen on television EVER.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Indeedy do! It was also the episode where Batman has to eject from his plane mid-air and while in free fall he calmly (in that Bat-Manner) puts out an APB to the other League:

"All points, I could use some air support out here. Because I can't fly. At all.

... now would be a good time."

[jbacardi.livejournal.com]

Good stuff. One of the better episodes, if you ask me...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Totally agreed, and what's more, I think even the producers realized that. After all, it's one of the three JLU episodes included on the special edition of JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE NEW FRONTIER.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

Ellis (who does a hell of a lot of for-hire superhero work for someone who claims to hate superheroes, and what's more, he always does great work

Nah. Ellis doesn't hate superheroes. He *loves* superheroes.

He just sometimes hates the fact that he loves them so much, I think.

(I love these pages. It's one of those issues I return to again and again, just to get a giggle, much like NEXTWAVE and it's Widdle Cuddly Bears of Death)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

See, that would make more sense! Really, that would explain everything! He's like a closeted politician/evangelist who masks their shame in homophobia! But for men in tights! Wait...

It does kinda make me sad that he sees his work-for-hire superhero stuff as little more than being hired to paint someone else's house. No matter how great a job he does, it always feels like a job, without a personal touch, y'know? Ellis' impersonal stuff far outweighs the work that feels like it really means a lot to him, or so it feels to me. I mean, if only more writers' for-hire work could be so consistently solid, but still...

Last night, as I was Skyping with my Girlfriend in Canada, I proceeded to perform the whole monologue to her. That was truly a highlight, particularly as I've been considering memorizing it, just in case I ever have the opportunity.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt in the slightest that Ellis loves superheroes, if only because of Planetary.

The first 18 issues of that series are a celebration, an elegy and a love poem to the whole comicbook & pulp genre. Go and read the issue where the analogues of Wonder Woman, Supes and GL die, or the Planetary/Batman crossover, and try and tell me that Ellis doesn't care about the mainstream icons ;)

I agree that Ellis' stuff is sometimes a little too...archly knowing for its' own good. He tends to let his plots direct his characters, rather than the other way about, and that shows very badly when he's writing for well-established characters.

But there's still a real love for the artform itself that tends to shines through in a great deal of his work for hire. Particularly in NEXTWAVE, which was clearly Ellis revelling in the simple joy of being able to play in the Marvel toybox without restraint. There's a lot to be said for allowing a writer to do that. (Look at Morrison on ALL STAR SUPES, different company, same wonderful, crazy results)

[musyc]

... I think ... that reading this comic right here, I have completely fallen in love with the mad villain/hero monologue he has done.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I know, right?

Until such time as we get NORMAN OSBORN'S VIDEO MONOBLOGS starring John C. McGinley, I simply must memorize that monologue just in case I ever get the opportunity. I don't know what kind of opportunity could ever arise, but whatever it could possibly be, I must be prepared.