The Songs of Johnny Go

At Best Buy today, as we were buying a USB cord so we could finally start figuring out how to use the projector for the show I'm going to be performing in ten days oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, we discovered they had a music section, with a synthesizer for anyone to try out.

OH MY GOD I'M IN LOVE.

Thing is, I've always wanted to play an instrument, but I've never been able to really make my brain/hands do what it takes. But a synthesizer, man, I don't even have to do much with it, and it already sounds like I'm composing the soundtrack to an 80's Michael Mann film.

Of course, that's where my brain is today, after I attempted a rewatch of Brett Ratner's RED DRAGON to see if maybe it wasn't as bad as I'd remembered. Or at the very least, to see if maybe, just maybe, I've been wrong in thinking that Bryan Cox's Hannibal Lecter in Mann's MANHUNTER was superior to Anthony Hopkins' return to the role in RED DRAGON.

Pshhh, no to both counts:



Y'know, I actually made my preference of Cox to Hopkins' Lecter a line in my show, THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES. I love how, every once in a while, an audience member actually knows what the hell I'm talking about and smiles. And here I used to be worried that someone would pick a fight with me after the show.

One of the few plus sides of RED DRAGON is Danny Elfman's soundtrack, which is the very few times in recent memory that Danny Elfman has sounded like classic Danny Elfman, music that makes you want to frolic in a graveyard:



Too bad that Brett Ratner is such a hack that Elfman's music completely overpowers any middlingly directed scene from that film. But even with classic-style Elfman, damn it, I so vastly prefer the soundtrack to MANHUNTER.

Not only does it help that Michael Mann--like Scorsese and Tarantino--is one of the ultimate masters of utilizing music in film, but it's pure 80's synth awesomeness from start to finish (well, except for "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"). How I wish I had a high-quality copy of tracks like "Graham's Theme," which might be one of my favorite pieces of film music ever:



If I had a synth, the first thing I would do is learn to play that. Which, from what I've seen, probably wouldn't be that hard. But who cares? I want one more than Buffalo Bill wants a pretty new dress.



Eh, I feel lazy ending it on a SILENCE reference, as I honestly don't get the huge appeal of that film/book. Clarice is so boring compared to Will, and Dollarhyde is both more sympathetic and terrifying than Bill. At least, when he's played by Noonan. Ralph Fiennes was one of the only actors in RED DRAGON who wasn't actively sleepwalking, so cred to him, but I'd still rate him beneath Ted Levine.

On the heels of my triumphant-ish Orlando Fringe production of THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES: HOW HEFNERIAN,* two show-related things have occurred:

1.) Katee Sackhoff to be Typhoid Mary in a new DAREDEVIL movie? I wouldn't put too much stock in this story; pretty much the exact same thing happened when Traci Thoms came into my store to buy everything Misty Knight related, and we haven't heard a damn thing about a DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON movie since. Which is a shame, because how fucking awesome would Traci be as Misty?

2.) I have just briefly reunited with the great Emm Gryner an hour ago at the 9:30 Club. She wasn't headlining or even performing solo, sadly, but was instead playing piano and doing backup vocals for A Camp, a great band fronted by Nina Persson of the Cardigans. Emm was radiant and sweet as ever, and this time I only made a mild ass of myself. She expressed great interest in seeing my show, and hopefully--if I can figure out a good way to upload DVD video onto the internet--I'll be able to show it to her. And to all of you as well.

Now, for the two things I couldn't get much of from the past two weeks: booze and sleep.



*Which I may rename "HOW HEFNERIAN": A HEFNER MONOLOGUE to clear up confusion in future performances. Too many people thought I was just doing the same show over again, which boggles the mind considering that I'm far from the only performer who does multiple shows that way!

I'm at the beach house in Rehoboth Beach for just a day, as I gotta be back down to Washington College to see Neil Gaiman.

I swung by WAC yesterday to see the great beatonna, an hour detour that seemed like a much better idea at the time. When I got there, I realized that 1.) I have nothing I'd want to say to Kate Beaton, nor anything for her to sign, 2.) I'm too damn shy to ask for a drawing in this atmosphere, in the crammed O'Neill Lit House with all these people here, 3.) she was doing a Q&A, and I hate Q&A's because there are always one or two yahoos who ask totally inane questions that make me want to claw out my own brain, and 4.) holy crap, is that the creepy guy from the Georgetown comic shop where I worked? Does he go to Washington College now?!?! RUN. RUN AWAY.

So that was rather a waste of a couple hours. Thankfully, the HopeMobile comes equipped with a six-disc CD changer, and I had a recording of THE PRESTIGE to keep me company. So far, I'm into it WAY more than I was the movie, which still leaves a bad taste in my mouth even today.



bitemetechie alerted me to the following quote sleepily uttered by her roommate, darkestnova:

"John is our magic song machine. Like a jukebox that doesn't take quarters. Or requests. He's shiny."

Well, I do have a tendency to randomly burst into song. I wish someone else could hear the background music whenever it starts up!



For example, I've recently found myself singing Laurie Anderson's "Let X=X," which has since become one of my favorite things ever. Why does this bizarre nonsense song make me so goddamned happy?

Really, I can't believe I've gone this long without knowing Laurie Anderson. I mean, just look at her!



She's... god, she's like a female Agent Smith who decided to become a performance artist in the 80's.

By the way, anybody who owns and/or likes her seminal album BIG SCIENCE is strongly encouraged to go on iTunes and track down a song from 2007, exclusively online. It's called "Big Science 2," obviously a sequel to the title track, and it's easily one of my favorite songs of hers so far.

Man, dare I splurge $37 to buy her epic four-disc UNITED STATES LIVE album?

Three days after I finish my run of THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES: HOW HEFNERIAN in Orlando, guess who will be coming to DC for the first time in (I think) four years?

Emm Gryner, pallies.

Although it's not (yet) listed on the 9:30 Club's official page for some reason, but I'm willing to take Emm's word for it.

If you've seen HOW HEFNERIAN and/or you remember the story I wrote about that night, the second-ever Hefner Monologue I wrote here on LJ (and I kind of dread rereading the original, unedited, unrevised version; the HH performance version is obviously more polished and much shorter), that name and its appropriateness will ring a bell.





Even if seeing Emm Gryner directly after telling her story in a solo show isn't Hefnerian in of itself, I can still think of no finer way to return to DC.

Plus, if I can manage to see Leonard Cohen at Merriweather Post Pavilion on May 11th before I leave, I'll have awesome Canadian musical bookends to my Orlando trip! Huzz-eh!

Me, I've never liked New Year's Eve. Even when I had parties to actually go to, it always left me feeling nostalgic at best, and at worst, it... well, it's never been good. I imagine it's that feeling between what single people feel on Valentine's Day and what some old people (not all, but bitter ones like my father) would feel on birthdays.

That said, these songs help:



Also, this is only tangentally appropriate, but close enough (and contrary to the confusion of the video-maker, who clearly didn't listen to the actual song, it's called "Open Eyes"):



So yeah, those help. But hey, any excuse for more Oingo Boingo is a good one.

From the ever-awesome little_dinosaur:



Thug Life!

I've been on a Sammy kick lately, especially ever since the otherwise-awesome Nathan Rabin said that he was "nowhere near as talented" as Frank Sinatra. To which I must call bullshit. But then, the more I've been reading about the Rat Pack, I've come to like Sinatra the least, which might color my opinions of his music.

Oh, I love 'im, and the SINATRA: VEGAS box set ran on rotation in my iPod through Big Sur. I dunno, maybe I'm just too drawn to theatrical bombast to appreciate the subtler nuances of Sinatra's brilliance, but... Jesus, guys, watch all of this:



And that's just a couple years before his death too. There's a reason he rocks the Superman bling, pallies.

I have an old tattered used hardcover of YES I CAN in the minivan, one of the too-many books I foolishly brought along on this road trip. Cracking it will be an undertaking, but a very rewarding one, I reckon. Throw Sammy in the same list of people like Dean and Jerry, the Beatles, Elvis, and Oingo Boingo who I'm gonna see live once I invent a time machine. Or steal it from whoever does.

Amanda Palmer is in town tonight, the few tickets I can find are eighty bucks, and I like her but I don't like her eighty bucks worth but I know I might if I saw how awesome she actually is live because of how everybody's been raving about her live show because half my f-list has seen her live including my ex so that's a thing in of itself and they all raved but in doing so have kinda browncoated her but it might be fun if someone else went with me but I don't have anyone else here except maybe Edd who likes Gogol Bordello but doesn't know her but eighty bucks is eighty bucks and I...

... I just need steak and a blowjob. Stat.

EDIT: Screw it. Ticket acquired, and thankfully, for a fuck lot less than eighty bucks. I'm going alone, and I'm gonna enjoy myself, damn it.

It occurs to me, I fear my trademark bowler derby will just make me look like a poseur fanboy in that crowd. Hrm.

The following is an experiment to try and put a playlist of mine up here for y'all to download and enjoy. I'll be frankly amazed if I wake up tomorrow and find out that everything here has gone smoothly. If nothing else, I'm not certain if everyone has iTunes (as I think it will require iTunes to play) or if the playlist will even appear in proper order when loaded (there may have to be some manual arrangement). Regardless, here it is, right when people have actual *important* matters on mind and really couldn't give a crap. Hope it works!

(Psst. All you fellow Yanks voted today, right?)

...

So in honor of Election Day, may I present to you this collection of songs dedicated to the one candidate in whom I still believe:



Would that I actually had photoshop so I could really whip together a mock CD cover with full playlist, but ah well. That'll have to do.

I've created this fanmix around the arc of my novel, following Harvey's journey by focusing on his relationships his wife, Gilda, his abusive father, his enemies (mobsters like Moroni, Falcone, Grissom, and Thorne) his friends (Bruce Wayne, James Gordon), Batman, and Gotham City herself. Until such time as you can actually read the book and follow how the music corresponds to the arc, the definitive Two-Face story "Eye of the Beholder" should suffice for now, as this was the core basis for my entire book.

At 28 tracks, this playlist is kinda sizable (149.71mb), even in zip file. It was compiled on iTunes, which means that you'll likely need iTunes to play several of the tracks. Or not, I'm not sure how this works. The whole thing is kind of a crap shoot.

You can download the .zip files in two parts via MediaFire: Part One and Part Two. They're all m4a files, so you'll probably need iTunes, and they're hopefully all in order.


( Full track list behind the cut, with artists such as Peter Gabriel, Radiohead, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Lou Reed, Angelo Badalamenti, Julee Cruise, Dresden Dolls, Johnny Cash, Moby, and more! )

Let me know if shit is wonky and hopefully we shall de-wonkify matters. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy! Once I master this, I might finally load my "Mack the Knife" mix, or epic "Wainwright Family" saga. That playlist is brutal, man.


EDIT THE FIRST: Okay, so it looks like you'll need my itunes password to authorize some of the tracks. If you wanna download the above, e-mail me and let me know and I'll pass along my password. When I get back from voting and lunch, I'm gonna try to tinker with figuring out how to unload this so everyone can get it hassle-free.

I feel dirty for how much I loved that episode (that subplot, anyway). But my shame is overshadowed by the *headdesking* I've been doing since discovering just how many people didn't know it was a real song. Like Seth McFarlane made that it up or something. I understand Weird Al Yankovic has that song first on his playlist, that he supposedly notices something new every time he listens to it. That thought pleases me.

Going to NYC, will be back Monday. I probably won't have internet till then, barring an internet cafe or something, so it'll be a few days before I hear all of you thanking me for getting this goddamn song stuck in your head. Like Peter did, I've since made my mother's life a living hell.

If I'm really sadistic AND masochistic, I may try to perform this at karaoke next week. Because there will be karaoke next week. It might be my last week in DC for the next few months.

See you on Monday, folks!

So I've been listening to the soundtrack for THE DARK KNIGHT on a loop as I've been revising the third draft of the Harvey Dent novel. That may sound like a painfully obvious music choice, but stay with me on this.

When the dumbfoundingly-awesome inviere (would that I could have been at Dragon*Con, to have seen her in person as Six) clued me into the third track, "Harvey Two-Face," she said that I--personally me, John Hefner--needed to hear it. She said that of all the soundtrack, this piece alone deserved some kind of award.

"They got him," she said. "They finally got Harvey."

And she's right. It's a wonderful track. Haunting, full of promise, hope, tragedy, and dread. But I couldn't quite put my finger on what was missing until very recently, when I realized that--just like THE DARK KNIGHT itself--it only covers Harvey, at least one side of Harvey. There's really no Two-Face there.

And I must say again, I've only become more dissatisfied with how they dropped the ball with Harvey in TDK. Really, the most damning evidence is how his whole story--even though he likely had the most screen time of any character--he's swept under the shadow of Heath Ledger's Joker with everyone else. Forgive me for having high standards, but Two-Face is a character that should have hit people every bit as hard as Ledger's Joker, just in different places. They are Gotham's masks of Comedy and Tragedy.

Many critics (the ones more aligned to film than comics) have likened Ledger's Joker to being this year's Anton Chigurh: an iconic mythical figure of terror and chaos that will live on for decades. While I was awed and terrified by Chigurh along with everyone else, I thought to myself, "Just wait till DARK KNIGHT. They think this character has made coin-flipping terrifying? They don't even know, man." But the problem is, they still don't.

Because for Two-Face in THE DARK KNIGHT, the coin-flipping is little more than a gimmick, with only the most tenuous ties to any real meaning or power. The closest things we have are the lines of it being his "father's lucky coin," (an implication known only by us hardcore nerds) and his line at the end about "there's only chance," which comes out of nowhere. This new luck-based life-direction philosophy comes out of nowhere, shoe-horned in at the last minute, and rings ultimately hollow in every way, save for fans going, "Oh, it makes sense, because this is how Two-Face acts anyway, so I can accept it."

No, sorry, fail. It better fits the simplistic Two-Face of the Golden Age, where going ugly (not even the pain of the acid, just being turned ugly) was enough motivation to have someone go crazy and evil. Really, it's not much more complex than that in TDK. In real life, people do not go that crazy that quickly. No, Joker, I beg to differ: sanity, unlike gravity, does NOT require a little push, just as it does not take "one bad day" (as Alan Moore pointed out) to drive a person mad. That simplistic shit only happens in old comic books.

That's just the problem, really. Harvey Dent was a character, while Two-Face was a comic book character.

But honestly, it doesn't piss me off and frustrate me as much as it could, not as much as some other geek things can do. The flip side to this is that, well, I don't have to worry about it overshadowing my novel. I started this book so I could finally tell the story that I've always wanted to see, all the areas that moved me but went underdeveloped or unexplored. Three drafts in, and I'm getting there. I'm damn close, and I'm damn proud.

So why, I wondered, have I been listening continuously to THE DARK KNIGHT soundtrack, when its Harvey themes only convey one part of the story I'm trying to tell? There's no Two-Face in those Harvey themes; there are references to his downfall, his tragedy, but no references to his burning anger, his madness, his resentment, his loathing and his self-loathing bubbling and festering to the breaking point. THAT wasn't there.

But that's when I realized that... it actually was. It's the Joker's theme. That screeching, howling, screaming discord of pain, stress, rage, chaos, and madness... that's what I hear in my head whenever I think of Two-Face.

In fact, in the hospital scene where we see Harvey's breakdown (the last truly great Harvey Dent scene in that film, IMO), where he grabs the coin, tears off the bandages, and screams... correct me if I'm wrong, but they played the Joker's theme there, didn't they?

That's when I realized that the soundtrack as a whole actually fits what I'm trying to accomplish with this book. After all, THE DARK KNIGHT was an ensemble piece, essentially about Gotham as a whole and how it affected each of the individuals who lived there, from the outside in.

But Harvey's the only character who has ties to all those walks of life--Crime Alley, City Hall, Bruce Wayne, Batman, the police, the mob, and the freaks--and as such, Harvey's story alone is a story of Gotham as a whole. In my novel, taken from the first person perspective and told in the present tense, Harvey's story is the story of Gotham--and vice versa--from the inside out.

It's the little epiphanies that make projects like this so thrilling.