Ding-dang it.

[thehefner]

Amanda Palmer is in town tonight, the few tickets I can find are eighty bucks, and I like her but I don't like her eighty bucks worth but I know I might if I saw how awesome she actually is live because of how everybody's been raving about her live show because half my f-list has seen her live including my ex so that's a thing in of itself and they all raved but in doing so have kinda browncoated her but it might be fun if someone else went with me but I don't have anyone else here except maybe Edd who likes Gogol Bordello but doesn't know her but eighty bucks is eighty bucks and I...

... I just need steak and a blowjob. Stat.

EDIT: Screw it. Ticket acquired, and thankfully, for a fuck lot less than eighty bucks. I'm going alone, and I'm gonna enjoy myself, damn it.

It occurs to me, I fear my trademark bowler derby will just make me look like a poseur fanboy in that crowd. Hrm.

Comments

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

I can't even get you the steak.

Go see the show!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

So after reading your comment, I called up Edd, asked if he'd like to come along and was so intent on doing so (because if he went then I know that'd be worth it) that I even offered to pay for his ticket, and he said he's feeling sick and can't do it, but now all of a sudden paying just eighty bucks instead of a hundred and sixty seems more attractive, so in summation yes I think I will go thank you.

A blowjob would still be nice, though. Or at lease some pie.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Fuck, why won't they let me buy individual tickets?! I can only buy two or four tickets! GAH! Day and night, Richards seeks to thwart me!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aha, cheap ticket acquired! Thanks for the poke of encouragement!

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

lol, these comments were an adventure

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Some days with me, life can be a little cyclone of neurotic fun.

selective reading

[tamburlaine.livejournal.com]

Oh man, you're a blowjob guy?

Re: selective reading

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hehe, no, ironically, not really. Oh, I enjoy them well enough, but I don't really get off like that. Furthermore, I'm not even that big a fan of steak. But "steak and a blowjob" was coined by a friend of mine, and it's still more phonetically pleasing than, say, "sex and pie."

Re: selective reading

[tamburlaine.livejournal.com]

I could go for some double penetration and churros.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

How about sixty-nine and a bag of Utz?

[tamburlaine.livejournal.com]

A facial and a... facial.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I think you win. Even if you did break the pattern.

Man, now I want some form of sex and junk food. All I have is this lousy ticket to see Amanda Palmer live.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

> ... I just need steak and a blowjob. Stat.

Steak&BJ day isn't until March. And you have to get somebody on flowers in February to qualify.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Screw that. Some days you just need steak and a blowjob.

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

You're going to love Ms. Palmer's sexy sexy show. It's also a great place to meet gorgeous single artsy chicks.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to meet girls period. Any suggestions should I see one?

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

As a fellow nerd who has managed to have what I believe to be several successful long-term relationships, my only advice is...

Don't. Talk. About. Comic. Books.

It doesn't matter that you'll be amongst a bunch of artfags. Hell, even people who like comic books don't fuck fellow fans usually. Just keep it on the downlow. It hangs like a black cloud over potential pussy.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Noted. But that said, I won't respect a girl who'd brush me off for talking about comics even in passing.

Furthermore, if she remarks on my "Harvey Dent for Gotham City" sticker, as some girls have in the past, I ain't promising anything.

But the downlow shall I attempt. Still, this is me. Is it even possible for John Hefner to do anything on the downlow?

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

I have faith in you Heffie.

I think what I'm getting at for a larger picture is to really hone in on the girl's interests. Whether it be an art movement or comics, you always disregard your own interests in favor of asking about hers. If a girl asks about your Dent sticker, say, "Yeah, it was phenomenal. I was so thrilled a comic book movie could be done so well. Did you enjoy it?"

Then ask her what else she's into. Keep it general. If she asks about your interests, give vague general answers and go back to her interests. It. Can't. Fail.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Good advice. It's a social trick I'm still learning, and will hopefully get some good practice tonight.

Because really, I bet it can. I really do. I'll happily lose that bet, but there it is.

[demonfafa.livejournal.com]

It's not easy and believe me, I don't think I ever perfected it - but I got it down good enough to get my foot in the proverbial door.

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Do you remember that episode of South Park where Jimmy was trying to get laid and Cartman advised him to say "Wow, that's so interesting, please tell me more" and repeat back what they say to them? That's what you need to do.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you'll be able to go. I had a lot of fun when I saw her last month.

Also, she signed my butt.

Have fun!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Damn, wish I'd thought of that. I just had a mini-poster to sign. Expect full story soon, once I recover. It was a hell of a night.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

WOOHOO! I want to hear it all.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The story, she is posted.