thehefner: (Scott and Barda are US SO SCHMOOPY)
How do I even begin summing up this situation? It's hard to say where it started, because as with all stories in real life, every beginning is just a collision of other stories already in progress.

The recent fandom kerfuffle with Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott telling a fan to "Go fuck yourself" (and controversial fandom figure [livejournal.com profile] box_in_the_box being one of the very fucking few people NOT praising Slott for doing so) has taken a weird turn today, with Slott himself picking a fight on Henchgirl's LJ. This, of course, resulted in an explosion with "Box and Friends" joining in, and Slott only digging himself in deeper.

Thing is, she was ALREADY feeling stressed from the fact that two of her posts (Boom! Yummy) have started getting widespread internet attention, and she's concerned about any fallout that may result from those who disagree with verbal pitchforks. On top of that all, she's still pregnant. So yeah, she's a bit exhausted.

Over in Box's own LJ entry about the situation, I left a comment which received replies from Henchgirl (in the other room on her own laptop), Box (our good friend who sees himself as the Flynn to our Yori and Tron), and [livejournal.com profile] punishermax, a guy who has turned comics criticism into high satire sketch comedy. What follows is a dialogue version of our comments:


***


ME: I'm just standing by ready to supply tea and hot chocolate as needed. That's the extent of my involvement here.

HENCHGIRL: You are a wide man, John Hefner. (Pause) O.O! Wise! WISE! I MEANT WISE!

BOX: No, you meant "wide" as in "the girth of his manhood," RIGHT? See, you COULD have talked your way out of this and flattered him in the process, but noooooo ... :)

HENCHGIRL: I don't think even THAT would have flown. The Boy is increasingly sensitive about his looming fate to Shackroyd (Shatner/Ackroyd) out.

BOX: Boo hoo. I went from looking like Mike Myers on SNL to looking like Jack Black. He'll survive. :)

HENCHGIRL: ...don't tell this to the girl who had a raging crush on Mike Myers for two years as a teenager.

ME: That's it. When we get back, I'm doing Wii Fit every day. Stupid sympathetic pregnancy weight gain.

HENCHGIRL: Sweetie, you're not fat. ... Now, blowjob or Monopoly?

ME: ... First the latter, then the former as consolation after you kick my ass and humiliate me as usual.

BOX: The correct answer is always "blowjob." :)

HENCHGIRL: Wrong! [The Boy's] answer is always the correct answer. Because I'm so much more enthusiastically apologetic after crushing someone's spirits thoroughly.

PUNISHERMAX: I feel like I just watched a sitcom.

~Eighties soft rock guitar riff as we oom in on a home~

"Honey I meant WISE! Not wide!"

"Sure! And when you said you had a headache, you really meant my ASS made you ache!"

~laugh track~

"Honey, how about some monopoly! Then we can see if I can go on down...to Baltic Avenue..."

~Audience woooooooooos~

~door suddnly bursts open and box comes in~

~crowd explodes in applause~

"Did someone mention something involving sex?"

"Box, you live 20 miles away! How did you even know!?"

"Well you know me...when it comes to sex...~he turns and winks at the camera~ this box...knows about boxes!"

~crowd explodes in applause and cheers~

Show me that smile again
Oh, show me that smile
Don't waste another minute on your cryin'
We're nowhere near the end
We're nowhere near
The best is ready to begin
All in a cloudy daze
I look into your eyes and see them shining out
Holding you close this way
Holding you this way
Is like having summer everyday
Ooh, ooh
As long as we got each other
We got the world spinnin' right in our hands
Baby, you and me
We gotta be



***


Henchgirl hasn't seen that part yet, as she's still in the middle of a well-deserved nap. But I dare say she'll agree that punishermax isn't too far off. Only I feel like [livejournal.com profile] surrealname might be Box's main competition for being the Larry Dallas of our lives.

I'm not sure where I was going with this. But I'm here, and it's still going. If only we had a camera crew.
thehefner: (Batman: I Am The Night)
First, Aaron Eckhart is "heartbroken" to learn that Nolan is definite on Harvey Dent being dead, and thus will not be in Dark Knight Rises. It's worth actually reading Eckhart's story of how he learned the news. I predict it'll launch a number of slash-fics.

For my part, I'm glad to hear it now than to hold out hope that maybe, maybe there'd be a surprise cameo in Arkham or in the twist ending or after the credits or in a deleted scene or maybe hell maybe in the fourth film yeah yeah maybe who knows *cries*. So, good to be spared that cycle.

Still, it's certainly put a crimp in my entire day. This is why I haven't actively thought about TDK for months. It just puts me in a frustrated, thinky mood for hours, going on with what I liked and what I wish wish wish they had done differently.



In related news [livejournal.com profile] box_in_the_box posted the following, dubbing it the "Best Batman Theme EVER." It's a combination of the themes by Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, and Shirley Walker:





Oh my god. Okay, very mixed feelings here.

Whenever the theme went to Zimmer, I. Was. So. Bored. At least, I'm guessing the boring parts were Zimmer, because they were the parts that were neither Walker nor Elfman. Now, I didn't like Zimmer's theme in BB until I heard it used in the trailer for The Dark Knight, at which point I was like, "Okay, this is actually pretty badass, I like it now."

Here, it was swalled up by Elfman and Walker. Maybe it's just that the composer didn't effectively recreate the literally thirty seconds of good music from Zimmer's entire BB score, by which I mean the first thirty of this:



Those blaring horns and slamming beats are the only part that could have stood up to Elfman and Walker, and while it actually took me a couple listens to discover that the composer actually had included that part, he didn't successfully recreate the "grab you by the balls and PAY ATTENTION" urgency. I think that speaks more to Zimmer's production than composition skills, because without that factor, it really is a boring track.

Actually, I'm listening to that above Zimmer piece on its own, and I'm rather loving it. The best thing Zimmer can do with the soundtracks is give them a sense of urgency. But even this is two-dimensional compared to the sheer scope of Elfman and Walker's soundtracks.

And yet... maybe it's because of that that I actually felt gut-punched both times Shirley Walker's theme came in, and elevated the entire piece to greatness for those few seconds. Maybe it's sympathetic pregnancy (and dear god, I've wanted to kill somebody for chocolate on more than one occasion, so it well could be), but I was actually moved to tears when the Walker theme came on the second time. Amazing how hearing that theme over and over again in the most formative show of one's childhood can have that effect.

There's something so much more hopeful about that theme to counter Elfman's glorious darkness. Both are soaring statements about who Batman is. Zimmer's is more just what Batman does: just pure action, action, action, without introspection.

All in all, this was a fascinating and fascinating piece, one that was even moving in a couple occasions. I want him to do a second version down the line. Maybe a series. Hell, I'd love to hear him combine all three Joker themes. Ohhhh fuck yeah, do I wanna hear that. Screeching Hans Zimmer white noise of horrifying madness:




... giving way to a magnificent Elfman waltz...




... giving way to that whistling, happy, mischevious Walker theme (cue to 4:15)...





... and back again with little to no warning. Ohhh man, I gotta write to this guy and make a request.
thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)
Me, as a groomsman at [livejournal.com profile] themadhatter26's wedding:





Quoth [livejournal.com profile] ortugatay: "The Quintessential Hefner."

Would it help if said that I didn't actually bring those comics with me, but were rather lenders returned to me by the groom? No, probably not.

... still frustrated by how that series ended, damn it.
thehefner: (Default)
Drive-by shout-out of thanks to [livejournal.com profile] superfan1, [livejournal.com profile] civilbloodshed, and [livejournal.com profile] insaneboingo for the LJ gifts! A happy holidays to all three of you!
thehefner: (Simpsons: ...Comic Books?)
Since we were planning on spending only spending the one Saturday at Baltimore Comic Con (as opposed to the full weekend), I knew there'd be no point trying to do my usual con thing and try to commission Harvey-themed artwork.

So instead, I used that money to buy up a whole assload of animated-series-style BATMAN comics, which are some of the best Batman comics of the past 25 years that no one has ever read. Seriously, y'all can keep your Grant Morrison post-modern claptrap; even when it's fun (and it damn well can be fun), the stories of the Timmverse are the standard by which I base all Batman stories.

Plus, it was great seeing [livejournal.com profile] dryponder again (you have my e-mail! Drop me a line sometime, for I am very anxious to discuss the thing! Y'know, that thing with the thing!), as well as finally getting a bit more facetime with the excellent [livejournal.com profile] zegas (here's that story I told you about, the one about my quest for commissioned artwork at New York Comic Con! Sorry we couldn't have that beer together, but hey, I'll definitely be sure to give you a buzz if I'm in the NYC area!).

I shall now sequester myself in my room to delve into my mighty haul of comics, and then perhaps Henchgirl and I will read a couple of them aloud. With voices. Yes, we do voices. It's kind of amazing. In an incredibly adorkable way.
thehefner: (Propoganda: Drive with HITLER)
Pound for pound, Indianapolis Fringe was my most positive Fringe experience to date (of the eight festivals I've taken THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES to over the past two years).

Attendance was stronger than my usual first-time fest experience. And then there's the response! FIVE reviews, and all of them glowing! Well, one was a bit lukewarm, but that publication is suspect anyway, since it ended up trashing some of the best shows and loving some of the worst. But the latter were few and far between; the shows at Indy were, more often than not, awesome. I'd already have been thinking of going back to Indy in 2010 just for the talent alone, not to mention the incredibly friendly and generous people of Indianapolis themselves--artists and patrons alike!--but to top it off, I actually made money! I *know,* right?!

Now, while I'm still going to be in the red no matter how well I do in Vancouver over the next couple weeks, the fact that I actually made a profit being a first-timer at a Fringe is a hell of a thing.

And I'm not sure I could have done it without the invaluable help of my lovely henchgirl, the mighty [livejournal.com profile] bitemetechie. Folks, you heard it here first: a partnership for the ages is shaping up here. Assuming we survive the experience. And each other. It's amazing to find someone who can be my director, writing partner, emotional baggage handler, AND one of the best friends I think I've ever had. There aren't too many other people with whom I'd be able to handle another massive road trip, albeit one under the constraints of arrival deadlines to Vancouver Fringe and then back to DC at the end of September.

The plan currently: to hit up Yellowstone National Park for one day (I know, I know, what a waste, right? Would that I had a whole week, plus camping equipment and actual outdoorsy experience!), then head North up to Glacier National Park for another day, then to Seattle for another day or two, then up to Vancouver for thirteen more days of Fringe Festival madness!

After that, we have roughly five days to drive back to DC in the hopes of attending the Small Press Expo on Sept. 26th. But I'm still making it a point to spend a day or two in South Dakota to hit up Mount Rushmore, Devil's Tower, and--most important of all--WALL DRUG. Hell yes, WALL DRUG. If you know it, you know it has to be spelled in all caps.

What a grand mad dash home this shall be. All this assuming the Hopemobile doesn't have a meltdown. There's some minor concern there. But hey, it's always an adventure, isn't it? At least this time I have someone else along to help take notes. Not to mention point and laugh at me whenever something Hefnerian happens. How will I ever manage without her?

I miss you all. No bullshit, I swear. Hope to see as many of you as possible at my epic homecoming party on Saturday, October 3rd. As for the rest of you... well, hope to see you on the road one of these days!
thehefner: (Farscape: Humans are Superior!)
There's an old Hollywood axiom that warns, "Movies are about their last twenty minutes," which is pretty much a direct rebuttal to the great writer's mantra, "It's the journey, not the destination."

So, questions, my lovely flisters:

Ever seen a brilliant movie or read an awesome book that was ruined by its shitty ending? For me, it was THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG. A magnificently moving tragedy utterly destroyed in the last fifteen minutes by the tacked-on subplot that served to do nothing but be an excuse to force everything to go to shit, because oooh, that's so literary!

Conversely, ever seen/read anything that was made--or even salvaged--by a great ending? Even if the first half or more was tedious, boring, awful, painful, did the ending at least make you forgive the story, if not outright love it? A couple examples of movies with much better second halves that come to mind for me are THE SPANISH PRISONER and KISS OF THE SPIDER-WOMAN. Has this ever happened to you? With what?

Your answers just might make it into the new monologue I'm composing. I'm actually considering maybe trying to do this as a podcast or a multi-part web video, trying to expand my creative horizons. Assuming I can find a sound/video editor to help me out.
thehefner: (Two-Face: Mounds! No Almond Joy!)
First off, GIP, courtesy of the amaaazing [livejournal.com profile] disc_sophist




ITEM: WEDNESDAY COMICS STILL LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING

Behold... the cover of WEDNESDAY COMICS, plus *tons* of previews of the bloody amazing comic book goodness it shall contain )

I'm so nervous that this is going to flop, though. Response from fans has been a lot of concern about the oversized format and the price, capped off with this report from a recent convention:

At Saturday’s DC Nation panel, editors Ian Sattler and Brian Cunningham provided fans with a first-ever look at a printed copy of “Wednesday Comics.” The weekly, star-studded, 16-page comic produced on massive newsprint pages, was described as one of the most unusual, impressive, projects in DC’s recent history, a “Kramer’s Ergot” #7 with superheroes.

But DC Nation, or at least the cross section attending the panel, showed more interest in the tedium of DC continuity. Not a single question was asked about “Wednesday Comics.”


DAMN IT, FANDOM. DON'T RUIN THIS FOR US.





ITEM: I DON'T WANT THE HAL JORDAN HATERS TO BE RIGHT, BUT, UH, IS HE ACTUALLY BEING A DICK HERE OR WHAT?


Holla at my GL flist buddies--particularly [livejournal.com profile] nymphgalatea, [livejournal.com profile] kali921, and [livejournal.com profile] kagome654--What think you of James Robinson's depiction of Hal in these preview pages of JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRY FOR JUSTICE # 1?

I mean, I've been a bit unimpressed by Geoff Johns' take on Hal, so this suddenly proactive take on Hal is rather cool. But is it in character? It definitely seems to be more in keeping with the Hal that Parallax exploited, but that Hal wasn't really in character in the first place.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, when you look at this page, do you think, "BADASS" or do you think, "Wow, what a dickhole"?

Judge for yourself )

On one hand, hey, awesome, he's actually showing off leadership capabilities, and it's keeping with someone who has crazy huge amounts of willpower! On the other hand, even Scott Summers might think Hal should cool it down a little.

I look forward to seeing how this storyline pans out. Either way, I want smart-ass fun-loving wise-cracking Hal Jordan back. My ideal Hal is like the bastard child of John Crichton and James T. Kirk with liberal dashes of Bruce Campbell thrown in for good measure.




ITEM: ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING PAGES FROM A GOLDEN AGE COMIC EVER

How Zatara brought peace to two warring kingdoms. )

... huh.

I can't even call crack on it, like Golden Age Wonder Woman, because damn, it actually seems damn well straightforward! So to speak.

And damn, Zatara is a sharp motherfucker. But then, he's the father of Zatanna, so he'd have to be. We need more dash and top hats in comics, says I.




FINAL ITEM: COMICS THAT MADE US CRY

The Robot 6 blog did a piece on "The 6 Comics That Made Us Cry," and folks have been responding with their favorites. For me, there have been several, but only one gets me choked up just thinking out it: the one-two punch of that issue of I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, when they find Ice in Hell.

First, when Guy Gardner, of all people, just keeps whispering, “Please come back, Tora. Please come back. Please come back.”

And second, at the end, when Bea and Guy hold each other, sobbing.

There was more genuine, heart-wrenching emotion in this silly comedic B-list superhero spin-off than in all of the INFINITE CRISIS titles going on at the same time. I’m getting misty just *thinking* about that issue.

What about you, folks? What comics have made you mist up or sob?
thehefner: (Default)
If I end up having to perform at the Orlando Fringe Festival with pneumonia because I stood in the rain for four hours straight, it'll still be worth it all because I just saw Leonard Motherfucking Cohen.

I could go on and on about the concert, about how it was one of the finest I've ever seen, about the brilliance of Cohen himself, about the personal significance of dragging my mother along to this show... but frankly, I need to pack.

Tomorrow, I head South. Not straight to Orlando, but to make a major detour to pick up [livejournal.com profile] bitemetechie and [livejournal.com profile] darkestnova, and from there, to try to make it to Orlando by Wednesday evening's Fringe Artist Meet-n-Greet.

Going to Orlando. BRB.






But seriously. Leonard Cohen. I seriously never thought I'd ever see him perform, and while my main goal in doing so was just to say I've done it before either of us died, it surpassed all expectations. Absolutely amazing, moving, and bittersweet. It really, really felt like he was saying goodbye at the end there. *sniff*
thehefner: (Titus: Cavort Like the Greeks!)
Yesterday was so much better than I'd expected. What a grand surprise to catch up with so many people, from Curnoles, Polly, Andi, Mike, Chris, Kimmy, Fox (see? Totally refriended you!), and whoever else will hate me forever for forgetting.

I've always liked Neil, particularly his live readings, but if this hadn't been at my old college in Chestertown for the sheer nostalgia slash morbid curioisity factor, I wouldn't have gone. I didn't expect to see so many people I know, foolish of me to think they wouldn't have been lured back for the exact same reason. It all turned out to be a wonderful little time. And then there's Neil himself. A fine, fine writer, fresh off of writing the latest attempt at something akin to an "Ultimate Batman Story,"* which no one there discussed, sadly. But the real key to Neil's success is not entirely his writing, of course.

You know what I really like about Neil Gaiman as a person? He's just so lovely.

I mean, he's not angry, bitter, exploding, ranting, intense, neurotic, arms-flailing... which is to say, he's not me. Well, okay, I'm not ALL those things, but more to the point, he's not like a number of people I know, being as I am an actor and thus friends with theatrical and drama-prone types, not to mention people passionate over fan-stuff AND politics. The kind of people who only exacerbate my own neurotic attributes so much that the thought of pulling a Dr. Manhattan and hermitting up in the Rehoboth Beach house as my own personal Mars is becoming seriously attractive.

But Neil, by all accounts, is just such the antithesis of all that. What's crazy is that the guy is a rock star in status, in fan-adoration, right down his near-iconic (within those fan circles) way he dresses. He's a rock star in most every way but personal manner. He's smart as hell without being pompous, dryly witty, but not cruelly snarky, the kind of person who can see the little wonders and joys in the world all around him.* He's utterly charming and delightful, a fan and a person of expansive imagination who's as down to earth as a sensible cup of tea.

And that's just it: I didn't want to meet Neil by standing in a long line, getting something scribbled on, shaking his hand and saying something I'll be worrying over later like I did with, say, Amanda Palmer. I wanted to take him to Andy's, buy him a beer or a sensible cup of tea, and actually talk with him. I'd don't just want to be friends with Neil,*** I want to have more friends like Neil.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, my dream girlfriend is now a drag king version of Neil Gaiman.

Make it so, Universe.






*I really, really want to discuss WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE CAPED CRUSADER, particularly with [livejournal.com profile] zhinxy, but I've only read those issues in the comic shop and am waiting for the trade, whereupon I can actually carefully read them twice. So at present, I don't feel like I really yet can pick it apart.

The only complaint I can say for now is that I wanted MORE. A third issue, just for more eulogies. Harvey's, of course, I was sad not to see that. But also ones like Pengers, Mr. Freeze, Jason, and so many others for whom you should know Gaiman could have crapped out poignant little two-panel tidbits. Who'd have thought one of the story's most moving moments would come from a three-panel sequence with Clayface?!



**I was particularly tickled by the visual he painted of Penn Jillette's calling Neil totally crazy for being delighted by all religions, because he so would be! It's an especially wonderful image because Penn--nothing bless his soul, as I'm sure he'd prefer me to say--is the crack form of those above attributes.



***Although I'd very much like that, and I'd imagine such a thing could be possible. He's so very personable, and who knows, perhaps our creative circles will intersect. That'd be nice.

I sometimes get odd flashes of what might be my future career, or more likely are just my hopeful ego gone a-wandering. Like, I'll be thinking about how much I liked, say, John C. Reilly in something, and the thought will occur to me, "I should discuss this with him sometime."

As if I'm naturally going to meet and at least be casual acquaintances with John C. Reilly. Part of my brain thinks it's a foregone conclusion! Neil's in the same category.
thehefner: (I'm a pirate! YARR!)
I'm at the beach house in Rehoboth Beach for just a day, as I gotta be back down to Washington College to see Neil Gaiman.

I swung by WAC yesterday to see the great [livejournal.com profile] beatonna, an hour detour that seemed like a much better idea at the time. When I got there, I realized that 1.) I have nothing I'd want to say to Kate Beaton, nor anything for her to sign, 2.) I'm too damn shy to ask for a drawing in this atmosphere, in the crammed O'Neill Lit House with all these people here, 3.) she was doing a Q&A, and I hate Q&A's because there are always one or two yahoos who ask totally inane questions that make me want to claw out my own brain, and 4.) holy crap, is that the creepy guy from the Georgetown comic shop where I worked? Does he go to Washington College now?!?! RUN. RUN AWAY.

So that was rather a waste of a couple hours. Thankfully, the HopeMobile comes equipped with a six-disc CD changer, and I had a recording of THE PRESTIGE to keep me company. So far, I'm into it WAY more than I was the movie, which still leaves a bad taste in my mouth even today.



[livejournal.com profile] bitemetechie alerted me to the following quote sleepily uttered by her roommate, [livejournal.com profile] darkestnova:

"John is our magic song machine. Like a jukebox that doesn't take quarters. Or requests. He's shiny."

Well, I do have a tendency to randomly burst into song. I wish someone else could hear the background music whenever it starts up!



For example, I've recently found myself singing Laurie Anderson's "Let X=X," which has since become one of my favorite things ever. Why does this bizarre nonsense song make me so goddamned happy?

Really, I can't believe I've gone this long without knowing Laurie Anderson. I mean, just look at her!



She's... god, she's like a female Agent Smith who decided to become a performance artist in the 80's.

By the way, anybody who owns and/or likes her seminal album BIG SCIENCE is strongly encouraged to go on iTunes and track down a song from 2007, exclusively online. It's called "Big Science 2," obviously a sequel to the title track, and it's easily one of my favorite songs of hers so far.

Man, dare I splurge $37 to buy her epic four-disc UNITED STATES LIVE album?
thehefner: (Harley and Ivy have funny hats)
Why I love [livejournal.com profile] fiveseconddelay, in two acts.

Act One:



*INTERMISSION*

Act Two:



*curtain*



It never fails to amaze me that people who love XKCD and Perry Bible Fellowship don't care for Red Meat. How very strange. But not as wonderfully strange as FSD.
thehefner: (Galactus Pac-Man)
As I was lazy, I never did post the rest of my post-Mansion-"visit" photos of my last day in L.A., hanging out with the mighty [livejournal.com profile] adaptor. Although I would be missing out on the usual Hollywood tourist things, she suggested one place I definitely should hit before I moved on...



The Getty Museum )
thehefner: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] fiveseconddelay's 1,000 Words:



He has titled this piece, "Hef Week One."
thehefner: (Harvey Dent: I Believe In Harvey)
After my week of struggle and angst culminating in the latest LJ entry, leave it to [livejournal.com profile] chickenhat to make my day:



I'm utterly moved. As Bloo remarked, "I want buttons."

And speaking of Bloo...

In addition to my new poster/postcard design, Bloo and I started batting around a couple other ideas. She was wondering if there was some way I could play with that "in the shadow of Hugh Hefner" motif, maybe having the shadow of a bunny (HARVEY-style?) behind me or something. I turned down that idea, then jokingly remarked that I might hand out black postcards, just pitch black, and say "That's a photo of me in the shadow of Hugh Hefner."

Then we came up with doing a separate series of teaser postcards. No image, no info on the front, just black matte postcards with the sentence, "Meet the Black Sheep of the White Bunny Family." The text would be white, but the word "black" would be in a darker shade of black than the rest of the card, and glossy too. That just might stand out and pique curiosity amid all the other postcards.

Two sets of postcards. Yeah, this just might work after all.

Now I'm just going to need to step up the marketing of HOW HEFNERIAN when I do it in Orlando. Maybe do an illustrated guide of what is and what isn't Hefnerian, ala those "Do/Don't" pictorials. Do it in three columns of images: "Comedy," "Tragedy," and "Hefnerian."

Heh. Once I get back to work after my break, let's bump this shit up a notch. Bam!
thehefner: (Darkplace: Author plus Actor)
Y'all rock. I don't say it enough, but it's true. That said, I feel extra special attention must be paid to two of you in particular.

[livejournal.com profile] civilbloodshed wrote the following on her LJ: In celebration of this, your natal day, I have chosen to honor you in the form which I feel most adequately expresses my respect and admiration--Haiku.

On his Blog:

Movies, musicals
theater and gore! On such
the Hefner abides.

On John himself:

Dig it--Johnny Go:
Singer, Swinger, Humdinger
will drink your milkshake.

On his wooing skills:

While it's really cool,
Ravenous might not be first
date material.


When I finally meet you, my dear, remind me that I owe you a cookie.



Meanwhile, [livejournal.com profile] marred82 proves once again to be perhaps my most-quoted friend with this response to my recent post, wherein I realized (after the Misty/Clancy wedding) that it was impossible to plan a Hefner Monologue before it happens:

I think most people told you that you can't plan a Hefner monologue, nor a Hefnerian moment...they just happen...like an earthquake that gives you herpes or a tornado that breaks up with you on prom night.



This was a hell of a birthday. It sure didn't seem like it was going to be, but while I'm as of yet unable to divulge details... it was a hell of a birthday.
thehefner: (OMG SCREAM)
You may be asking yourself, "Say, , who wins at life and everything?"

The answer, my friends, is [livejournal.com profile] angrylemur:



If you don't get it, read my previous post and click on the various links.

And there you go, [livejournal.com profile] nymphgalatea and [livejournal.com profile] zhinxy. See you there for opening night in 2012. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go serve a dark and a hungry god. He craves Trader Joe's Oreos.

September 2012

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425 26272829
30      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 19th, 2017 10:51 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios