The Songs of Johnny Go

Life these days is a series of situations that are all relatively easy to deal with on their own, or even two at a time, all coming at us at once. I'd post about them more, but I can't help but feel like it'd be a whole lotta complaining about stuff that we're already on top of combined with the stuff that's out of our control. So I'm going to cut this post with images of owls with stupid expressions on their faces, just to make it all go down easier.





For my part, I'm tired. More tired than I've ever been, more tired than I was trying to pick up the pieces after Dad's death. And that tiredness has made dealing with my everyday neuroses just that much harder. And I was never that good at handling them in the first place! But after yet disappointing another Fringe Festival (and like all the disappointing Festivals over the past year, there have been entirely logical reasons WHY they were disappointing, but that doesn't help my emotional state), AND the moving situation, I'm wiped out and not really looking forward to doing CapFringe and IndyFringe this year. I've never been one for regrets, but I do so wish that I could go back a year and plan this all out better.





As for that moving situation, we're currently living at the beach while the Cabin John house... my home... is on the market. It's been repainted and rearranged to the point that it's effectively no longer my home anymore. It looks depressingly like... like a NORMAL person's house! Ew! But we can't stay there, since it's on the market, thus we're in Delaware. This means that we'll have to drive a couple hours to the hospital once she goes into labor, which should be within, what, a week? Two weeks? More? Any day now? We're just waiting, and we have to wait here, because our actual home has to be clean and free of people. Hard for prospective buyers to impose their vision onto a property with a fanboy and a pregnant Henchgirl squatting in the living room.





We're staying at the new house Mom bought in Delaware, which will be our main base of operations once renovations are completed by early next year. We're by Broadkill Beach, near Slaughter Beach. I fucking love that. In reality, it's not so much the site of a boobtacular slasher film as much as the nation's site for Horseshoe Crab Orgies. So, almost as good, right? That almost makes up for the fact that we're going to be living in Delaware.





In truth, living at the regular house in Rehoboth Beach is great, as we adore that place. But unless you all come to see my show at CapFringe in a couple weeks, and bring your friends and family and pets in people costumes so that they can be charged as adults, that beach house will be my sole source of income. Did you know that we're still renting it out? Because we totally are still renting out the house in Rehoboth Beach!





I guess what it all comes down to is the fact that we have a lot to do, all of which costs a LOT of money and causes a lot of stress, onlt some of which might possibly make us some money in the process. What I'm saying is, if you want a piece of Hefner, you have options!

Want to own the house where Hefner lived? Well, you can! Want to just rent a house where Hefner lives? You can do that too! Want to rent Hefner himself for an evening (I mean, as a performer? I mean, as a non-sexual performer? I mean, to talk about himself for an hour with jokes and slides?) Here's your big chance! And if you still want a piece of Hefner's creativity but aren't able to travel, well, I'm finally starting to post the Harvey Dent novel, chapter by chapter. For those who've read it already, I've changed a lot and I'll be changing even more after the acid hits. It's gonna be a whole different story by that point, and with Henchgirl as my editor, I'm going to finally finish this for good.






That's about it for now. Back to life. Mine, hers, and the brand-new little one that's about to arrive. Any day/week/minute now.

First, Aaron Eckhart is "heartbroken" to learn that Nolan is definite on Harvey Dent being dead, and thus will not be in Dark Knight Rises. It's worth actually reading Eckhart's story of how he learned the news. I predict it'll launch a number of slash-fics.

For my part, I'm glad to hear it now than to hold out hope that maybe, maybe there'd be a surprise cameo in Arkham or in the twist ending or after the credits or in a deleted scene or maybe hell maybe in the fourth film yeah yeah maybe who knows *cries*. So, good to be spared that cycle.

Still, it's certainly put a crimp in my entire day. This is why I haven't actively thought about TDK for months. It just puts me in a frustrated, thinky mood for hours, going on with what I liked and what I wish wish wish they had done differently.



In related news box_in_the_box posted the following, dubbing it the "Best Batman Theme EVER." It's a combination of the themes by Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, and Shirley Walker:





Oh my god. Okay, very mixed feelings here.

Whenever the theme went to Zimmer, I. Was. So. Bored. At least, I'm guessing the boring parts were Zimmer, because they were the parts that were neither Walker nor Elfman. Now, I didn't like Zimmer's theme in BB until I heard it used in the trailer for The Dark Knight, at which point I was like, "Okay, this is actually pretty badass, I like it now."

Here, it was swalled up by Elfman and Walker. Maybe it's just that the composer didn't effectively recreate the literally thirty seconds of good music from Zimmer's entire BB score, by which I mean the first thirty of this:



Those blaring horns and slamming beats are the only part that could have stood up to Elfman and Walker, and while it actually took me a couple listens to discover that the composer actually had included that part, he didn't successfully recreate the "grab you by the balls and PAY ATTENTION" urgency. I think that speaks more to Zimmer's production than composition skills, because without that factor, it really is a boring track.

Actually, I'm listening to that above Zimmer piece on its own, and I'm rather loving it. The best thing Zimmer can do with the soundtracks is give them a sense of urgency. But even this is two-dimensional compared to the sheer scope of Elfman and Walker's soundtracks.

And yet... maybe it's because of that that I actually felt gut-punched both times Shirley Walker's theme came in, and elevated the entire piece to greatness for those few seconds. Maybe it's sympathetic pregnancy (and dear god, I've wanted to kill somebody for chocolate on more than one occasion, so it well could be), but I was actually moved to tears when the Walker theme came on the second time. Amazing how hearing that theme over and over again in the most formative show of one's childhood can have that effect.

There's something so much more hopeful about that theme to counter Elfman's glorious darkness. Both are soaring statements about who Batman is. Zimmer's is more just what Batman does: just pure action, action, action, without introspection.

All in all, this was a fascinating and fascinating piece, one that was even moving in a couple occasions. I want him to do a second version down the line. Maybe a series. Hell, I'd love to hear him combine all three Joker themes. Ohhhh fuck yeah, do I wanna hear that. Screeching Hans Zimmer white noise of horrifying madness:




... giving way to a magnificent Elfman waltz...




... giving way to that whistling, happy, mischevious Walker theme (cue to 4:15)...





... and back again with little to no warning. Ohhh man, I gotta write to this guy and make a request.

At a strip mall in PA, at a store I won't name (it rhymes with Shmot Shmopic), while I was totally not listening to Lady Gaga on the store's awesome headphones, I saw a guy there who happened to have the Best Tattoos Ever.





He claimed to have the entire TAS Rogues Gallery on both his arms. You can see a bit of Penguin (in a cloud of money), plus I also saw Clayface, Scarecrow (the second version, who was in the most episodes), and a Mr. Freeze outline that had yet to be colored in.

If I hadn't been so shy, I'd have wanted to get shots of them all, but at least I got the one that was most important to me, as well as most of the Riddler, which is the second most important. Third would have been Hatter, and man, I hope he had Hatter. Man, why can't Comics!Hatter be more like TAS!Hatter? I blame Grant Morrison and ARKHAM ASYLUM: A SERIOUS HOUSE ON SERIOUS EARTH.

But really, this kid was only about nineteen. How much money did these cost him, and how much would he be paying to maintain them for the rest of his life? Either way, I salute his dedication, and also his taste. Anybody can get a Joker tattoo (probably the Heath Ledger version, as I'd expect from someone who hangs out at Shmot Smopic), but to get all the Rogues, especially in their TAS versions? That's cred, man.

THE WOLFMAN was terribly disappointing, particularly because I feel like I could just see all the good intentions scattered somewhere inside the horribly-edited mess of a film. Could a different cut salvage it? I'd love to think so, but I doubt it. Sigh. In fairness, the original WOLFMAN wasn't that great either, what with the stalker-tastic love story which could have easily been called--as Henchgirl quipped--THE WEREWOLF WALKED ON TIPPY-TOES. But still! Sigh.

That said, I'm still not sure if crushing disappointment is better than intense horrified loathing. Which brings us to my thoughts on ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

There are few words to describe just how much I loathed Burton's film (which he made, as I understand, without having ever read the actual books), and if I had the time/energy, I would rant about it wholeheartedly instead of doing this kind of cheap, unsupported drive-by complaint. But really, when it comes to a film that makes the Mad Hatter a badass revolutionary, tries (and utterly fails) to combine the Queen of Hearts and the Red Queen, and ends with a song by Avril Fucking Lavigne, what else do I really have to say? I mean, seriously.

That said, I want the soundtrack. The Hatter's dance music was the first time I've heard Danny Elfman write anything sounding like Oingo Boingo since even before Oingo Boingo broke up. Too bad it had to happen in the brain-meltingly-awful moment when the Hatter danced the Robot. I mean, seriously, do I really have to defend these points? Really? Whyyyyy???!?!

On the plus side, I now want to write my essay on why Batman's Mad Hatter, Jervis Tetch, is a woefully abused character who deserves more love.

Speaking of Bat-Rogues, I posted my first Two-Face Tuesday entry in two weeks, the first part of Harvey vs. the Robins, with a focus on the first appearance of Tim Drake. I'm kinda disappointed that it didn't get more attention at scans_daily, what with their adoration of the Robins and all, but hopefully that'll pick up with the next entry, focusing on Dick Grayson's ties to Harvey in PRODIGAL.

"Riddle me this! What's Harvey Dent's favorite day of the year?"


( The answer behind the cut )

This does nothing to help my worries in yesterday's post about the only two things I seem to post about anymore. But seriously, I am the luckiest damn geekboy ever.

Good grief, I feel like this LJ is starting to becoming nothing but Henchgirl and Two-Face. I mean, understandably so, but still! I feel like I'm falling behind when it comes to posting for you, my diverse audience of nerds, geeks, and assorted weirdos.

Well, for those of you who don't care about Two-Face and glaze over any entry that mentions him, don't worry. I've spent this evening finally setting up my all-things-Harvey LJ about_faces*. Don't bother looking, there's nothing to see just yet. I need to come up with a decent layout, for one thing. That coin image is just a placeholder, soon to be replaced with something more interesting. I also needs to write a snazzy intro post before I start converting all my Two-Face Tuesday posts, among other things.

But feel free to friend me in the meantime, if you're at all interested. Soon, I'm gonna do my best to keep the major Two-Face news, rants, and geekery over there, as well as scans_daily. For now, though, expect at least one more extended edition of Two-Face Tuesday over here tomorrow.

Man, having a life really gets in the way of internetting, doesn't it?




*Looking at it, I have to wonder if there's any way to customize my screename guy to look like Two-Face. I've seen variations on the guy having a Santa hat on, for example. It's the little things, really.

Once again, I return from Tuscaloosa, sadly minus a Henchgirl and with a week's worth of internet to catch up on. We'll be reunited just before Valentine's Day, after which we'll hit the road to Fresno, CA, for the Rogue Theatre Festival, my first HEFNER MONOLOGUES performance of 2010.

Until then, I have much to do, including working on my 45-minute reedit of the MONOLOGUES, writing THE ROAD TO NOWHERE, working on my epic revisions for the Harvey Dent novel,* and trying not to get too distracted playing SUPER MARIO BROTHERS WII (god damn you, Ridgaway). All of this, I hope to work upon at the house in Rehoboth Beach over the next week.

And until then, I mean to catch up on LiveJournaling, as I feel like I've neglected you, my lovely peons. I've spent entirely too much time having an actual life with a girlfriend in the real world, and the internet has suffered. Well, fret no more: I'm alone once again, and ready to return to smelly unshaven hermitdom. Rejoice! Oh god, so lonely...

But until ANY of that... this smelly, unshaven boy needs sleep. So I shall leave you with an image of something that made me squeal like a little girl in the middle of a Tennessee Wal-Mart, between our toy-aisle lightsaber duels:





He. Is. ADORABLE. Never before has homicidal sociopathic angst ever looked so happy.




*It's amazing what being in a real relationship can do for giving new insight and life to writing a couple like Harvey and Gilda. Honestly, the way this book is now shaping up, I feel like it almost could actually be called HARVEY AND GILDA.

So I neglected to repost my Two-Face Tuesday entry for last week, which is the modern reinvention of the Paul Sloane character. I'm rather proud of that one, so if you want, please do check it out over here at scans_daily in two parts: Part One and Part Two. Sometime, I plan to use them as the basis for a whole separate rant, but there they are for now.



For this week, I'm included an expanded version of my scans_daily post for you, my dear sugarplums.

Three weeks ago (with my "JLA teams up with Two-Face... wait what?!" post), lamashtar asked if I was going to post this particular issue, or if it was "too schmaltzy." To be honest, I wasn't sure (of either)!

Who here has read the Hal Jordan SPECTRE series (which ran 27 issues from 2001 to 2003)? I'm genuinely curious as to what anybody made of it. Personally, it was one of the more frustrating reading experiences I've ever had.

Issue #5--the topic of this week's post--is no exception, namely because it features the unlikely meeting of my two all-time favorite characters. And the results are... well... I'm still not really sure even now.





Here's the thing: when I was a teen, I loved Hal Jordan. Not as Green Lantern (although that would come later), but rather as Parallax. Considering that Two-Face is my number one favorite, I loved the idea of a fallen hero striving for redemption and justice but always screwing it up by being so darn crazy. I wanted him to actually grow as a character, to be redeemed, even exonerated. Then they killed him off in a "heroic" manner to pay lip service to his fans, then get him out of the way so that Kyle could be a special little pumpkin.

So I was very excited by the prospect of Hal!Spectre. The character would finally get some development and redemption, and be a hero again! And it would be written by the great J.M. DeMatteis! Even better!

But the actual series was... well, I'm still not quite sure what it was. For one thing, Hal just doesn't work in this kind of context. But mainly... look, I'm an agnostic who loves the stories of religion but has no personal grasp on concepts like souls and karma beyond a layman's utilitarian knowledge. And reading THE SPECTRE, I felt bogged down in all the metaphysical wankery DeMatteis was packing into every issue. Just like with so much philosophy, I responded with a mixture of "so what?" and "SO BORED."

This was made especially frustrating when my two favorite characters actually met in the pages of THE SPECTRE #5. Surely, such an unlikely pairing-off was possible only in my fanboy imagination! At least, that was before Hal became the Spectre.


( Crazy murderous ex-heroes, the question of redemption, alien ghost cop spirit guides, and metaphysical theological jibba-jabba behind the cut! )


Okay. So what do you make of this? Me, I just can't make heads or... I mean, I still don't know.

Like, the actual metaphysical stuff about karma meant absolutely nothing to me, but just flew right over my head. It all seemed so maddeningly vague: what old debts? We don't even know why poor Harvey has to suffer through this? What debts does he have to pay? How could he possibly have chosen this from a spiritual standpoint?

It was all so frustratingly unsatisfying. I suspect this could have been interesting if DeMatteis had paced it out over two or more parts, really explored what it meant for the sides to be separated like that.

If "good" Harvey (note the quotation marks) is still capable of violence, what would "big bad Harv" be capable of doing if he were unleashed? Really, it could be the Gotham version of Italo Calvino's THE CLOVEN VISCOUNT, wherein a man is split into his good and evil sides, both of whom are themselves capable of good and evil acts.

(forgive for the snobby literature reference; once I heard about the story in Mazzucchelli's brilliant graphic novel, ASTERIOS POLYP, I felt it was perfect for Harvey insight)

But no. Ultimately, this story feels too rushed, with only one insight to offer: "No, really: It Sucks to be Harvey Dent."

All that said, between this and their meeting in that JLA story, I'm in agreement with nymphgalatea when she expressed a wish for a proper Hal/Harvey teamup. Because, she said, "Hal is so very pragmatic, and has no patience for the crazy, and Harvey would take a deep and abiding delight in fucking with his head."

Seriously, I would pay good money to see J. Michael Straczynski write this as an issue of THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD, considering how he wrote Two-Face in the TEEN TITANS story and Hal in the most recent issue of TB&TB (with Dr. Fate).

So this was to be a post about the "Hal Jordan tries to fix Harvey Dent" issue of THE SPECTRE, but that's gonna require a lot more essay writing than is possible right now. I'm gonna actually have to bring in a special guest commentator (i.e. my loyal Henchgirl) to parse out that particularly frustrating story.

So instead, let's tie in the new and old years with this Two-Face Tuesday two-parter on a guy named Paul Sloane... AKA Two-Face.

"A-bwUUUHHH?!?!?!" I hear you gasp?

Actually, Sloane is one of five different Golden Age iterations of Two-Face. superfan1 was kind enough to post the original Paul Sloane story at my request a couple weeks back, along with another non-Harvey-Dent Two-Face. But Sloane is notable in that he's the only other Two-Face to actually return to modern continuity!





In Part 1, I present excerpts DETECTIVE #580 an #581, by Mike W. Barr (who writes one of the corniest Two-Faces ever, full of terrible, smackable puns) with art by Jim Baikie.


( The return of Paul Sloane: the OTHER Two-Face )

The idea of a new Two-Face is an intriguing prospect that should have been utilized while Harvey was "healed" in the years between HUSH and FACE THE FACE. A new Two-Face shouldn't be a carbon copy of the original, but should rather be used to explore themes of duality, fate, and justice in ways that Harvey Dent can't (or shouldn't), while Harvey himself could have gone on to have much more interesting character development as a wild card antihero. Not just for Harvey, but for Sloane as well, as you'll see soon enough.

Next week, Part 2: the great Ed Brubaker re-imagines Paul Sloane in 2003, published in a story that nobody noticed because everyone was reading HUSH instead.

EDIT: huge props to kmousie for the poifect icon!



I keep putting off getting this, even though the price has steadily gone down over the past couple months. Maybe I should resist until it's at least half off, hurr hurr hurr.

( Of course, now look what's coming out from DC Direct next year: the ultimate pointless expense for Heffie )

I saw this a few months ago, but dismissed it for two (HURR) reasons. First, I'm prejudiced against green scarring, it just looks silly. And second, it's three hundred fucking dollars. The most I ever paid for a piece of comic memorabilia was my Green Lantern Power Battery ten years ago, which was $250 (my employee discount at the comic shop helped). So I didn't actually go "WANT" when I first saw it.

But today, I checked out the amazon.com page, where it allowed you to zoom in for a high-def look at the details. Wow, the scarring is wonderfully done. I mean, if I had it my way, I would have preferred reddish-pink-black scarring, or even purple, rather than campy comics-green, but based on other images, it's less neon-pronounced as it is above. It works, really. Looks almost gangrenous. Most importantly, it's not a clean division, but rather has gradation like real acid scarring would have.

Plus, while I dislike the split suit, it's actually quite tasteful here, rather than half a used-car salesman, which is Harvey's poor preference most of the time. I'm gonna say it yet again: if I had my way, the only thing split on Harvey's costume would be his tie. Everything else would be a suit and maybe trenchcoat, with subtle plays on symmetry and asymmetry throughout. The idea is to take the emphasis away from the body and bring it right on the face where it belongs. He looks normal and average everywhere else, which makes the scars all the more jarring.

... Why yes, I really do give these things too much thought, why do you ask?

What's really impressive is how his pose actually gives him a decidedly different expression depending on which way you look at it:

( Arrooo? )

I just want an "O RLY?"-"YA RLY" icon of those (going back and forth between close-ups of the faces). I wish I had the ability to make animated icons (or even good static icons).* But not as much as I wish I could afford to blow three hundred smackers on something as awesomely useless as this. Shit, who does?

Maybe if I wait long enough, it'll go down to two hundred, which would give me enough flimsy justification to finally buy the damn thing.




*damn, I need photoshop