The Songs of Johnny Go

I've never known anybody who's harder to wake up than Henchgirl. When she's out, getting her to get up can sometimes take up to an hour or more. I mean, if you don't want to be an asshole. And sometimes, I do. I've awakened her by singing or playing a number of annoying songs, everything from Erasure's "Always" (blame Robot Unicorn Attack), "Surfin' Bird," and of course, "Never Gonna Give You Up." And every time, she wakes up with that look a cat gives you after you give it a bath.

Today, however, I decided to play this:



And this time, she woke up with a huge grin.

"Because," she said, "any other guy would just wake me up with the GHOSTBUSTERS theme. But you are the only guy who'd actually think to play me that one... and it's thematically appropriate!"

... it's that she got it. Upon waking. This is why she's the Henchgirlfriend.

GHOSTBUSTERS III is finally happening.

As a video game.

...

Now, bear in mind, last we heard, Aykroyd was saying it was gonna be a CGI film. Which was a "... huh" prospect in of itself. So I can see the logical progression of how it got to this point.

And it's still going to be fully scripted by Aykroyd and Ramis. To which many will instantly go, "Psh, yeah, they wrote GHOSTBUSTERS. But you know what else they wrote? GHOSTBUSTERS II." To which I can only eloquently respond, fuck you, GHOSTBUSTERS II was great.

But what really concerns me about a GHOSTBUSTERS video game is that... well, themadhatter26, just what is the success rate for franchise-based video games? This one could have a brilliant script, but with games, there are so many other factors to consider. My immediate reaction is unhappy doubtful pessimism. Aykroyd and Ramis are claiming to be involved in this game far more intimately than most other non-game creators in their franchise games. But will that help the gameplay at all? Of course not.

Don't get me wrong. Before Bill the Butcher, Harvey Dent, Hal Jordan, and Otto Octavius, my first childhood love and obsession was GHOSTBUSTERS. Particularly Egon, for some reason. I still have the firehouse playset, and will not be throwing it out. I want this to rock my socks.

And yet, regardless of all this, there's one thing this game will have that is cause for great celebration. And it's not just the fact that Aykroyd, Ramis, Murray (hopefully not phoning it in), Annie Potts, and MAN-GOD ERNIE FUCKING HUDSON are reuniting to do their voices. That's all squee-inducing and marvelous, yes. But one name rises above them all. A name still whispered in the darkest corners of the 1980's:

WILLIAM. "BITCHES." ATHERTON.

Yes, this hearlds the glorious return--if only in voice and CGI likeness--of the only man to beat Joe "CHOKE ON 'EM" Pilato for the title of Greatest Dick In Genre Cinema for his immortal roles in DIE HARD, REAL GENIUS, and, of course, GHOSTBUSTERS (as Peck, but more commonly know as "Pencil Neck" and "Dickless"; I've since just called "Pencil Dick," and everyone immediately know who I'm talking about, hehehe).

This game now has an obligation to Zuul him/herself NOT to suck.