Bean Lanterns

[thehefner]

You were warned.



THE BLACKEST NIGHT "DRINKING" GAME IS UNDERWAY.





So as you can see, I've had to go with team affiliations rather than strictly adhering to color. Trying to find beans to correspond to the Blue Lanterns, Indigo Tribe, and Star Sapphires were tricky. Thankfully, the great nymphgalatea stepped up to the plate, suggesting I use light and strictly blue-blues for the Blues, dark blues and purples for the Indigo, and pink the HELL out of the Star Sapphires.

My local candy store also lacked a comprehensive selection of Jelly Bellies (they had most, but it would have been nice to get, say, "Grape Crush"), but I dare say I made do.

So what do we have here, you ask?



Well, as you know, DC is about to unleash their epic comic saga, THE BLACKEST NIGHT, featuring the war between the Color Corps. So to make things even more fun, we've come up with this "drinking" game!

Here's the goal: for every Lantern member who shows up, you eat a corresponding bean!

In case you don't know the various Corps, here they are:











And so what beans do we have to go with each Corps?

WILLBEANS

Green Apple, Kiwi, Margarita, Watermelon, Sour Apple, Sour Watermelon, Mango, Lemon Lime, Juicy Pear (all three of which really flirted with being Fearbeans, but that's the risk of all Green Lanterns, is it not?).


HOPEBEANS

Blueberry, Berry Blue, Sour Blueberry, Sour Raspberry


FEELBEANS

Island Punch, Plum, Sour Grape


LOVEBEANS

Bubble Gum, Cotton Candy, Strawberry Cheesecake, Strawberry Daiquiri, Candy Cane, Tutti-Fruitti, Sour Strawberry


RAGEBEANS

Sizzling Cinnamon, Very Cherry, Pomegranate, Raspberry, Red Apple


GREEDBEANS

Cantaloupe, Sunkist Orange, Sunkist Tangerine, Orange Sherbert, Sour Orange


FEARBEANS

Crushed Pineapple, Sunkist Lemon, Lemon Drop, Pina Colada, Top Banana


DEATHBEANS

Wild Blackberry, Grape Jelly, and a smattering of Licorice. Because much as I hate licorice in anything not-absinthe, it just had to be this way.



And if we do eventually see the rise of one or more White Lanterns, thankfully there are plenty of options for LIFEBEANS: A&W Cream Soda, Cafe Latte, Coconut, and French Vanilla. Mmm.

Oh hell, let's see this one again, but bigger!



That's the stuff.



Now, if I were truly bold and wanted to give this a serious Russian Roulette flavor, I'd have bought a pack of these and sprinkled them in with the appropriate colors. But no, alas. I want to have a good time. And really, that really requires someone else to laugh at you when you end up eating a Rotten Egg jelly bean. Besides, only about half of them are comparable with the ones listed above.

Regardless. Bring it on, DC. Bring. It. ON.

Comments

[musyc]

From here, that looks like the most fun party buffet ever.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

If only social circle were into this the way they're into, say, LOST, every Wednesday night from July to October would be "BLACKEST NIGHT" reading party at my house, where we'd all read the comics together and eat jelly beans at appropriate times. And as per the rules, if we see a Red Lantern, we'll spit in each other's faces.

Oh! And if it's an Orange Lantern, we try to steal each other's Jelly Beans!

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

I honestly barely understand what's going on here, but you look keen and that's a really nice fridge that I think my father might have. Also, I would like some jellybeans. So basically that's what I have to say on the matter.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Hm, perhaps I should revise my entry here to better explain. I'd have thought more people would have remembered this: http://thehefner.livejournal.com/583122.html

[torberg.livejournal.com]

Bow before the might of the Infrared Rangers!
http://www.passfailstudios.com/index.php?id=61

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

But that raises the vital question, what emotion would the Infrared Rangers represent?

I'll have an extra empty glass ready, should one of them show up.

[nectarousness.livejournal.com]

This almost makes me forget I hate jellybeans and makes me want to eat some. Almost.

That's some definite dedication there, bucko.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

But they's so PRETTY! The colors compel you! And really, how can you hate Jelly Belly beans? Surely there must be ONE flavor that wins you over, for they have so many!

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

can I have your counter? do you know how many dozens of cookies I could have cooling on it?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, it's more often used for stacking papers and bills to be put off paying for weeks. Which is really a crime, when I think about it. Now, I think I have a moral obligation to make cookies! Yes, that's the ticket.

[fiveseconddelay.livejournal.com]

"Oh God, Hef! You've formed a gang!"

So THAT'S Guy Gardner!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

It wasn't a dream. It was a prophecy.

Yeah, Guy truly is Dave in comic form. It's kind of terrifying, in an awesome way.

[rosered2318.livejournal.com]

heffie, this is awesome =)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yay! I still fear that I'm going to get "Um, ooookayyy?" reactions from people. About ten minutes into my bean-scrounging at the candy shop, I honestly started fearing I was mad for taking this so seriously. But then I got them home and put them in the margarita glasses, and ahhhhh, pretty!

[kagome654.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned lately that you are my favourite geek ever? Because you seriously are.

Also, I want to devour all the Willbeans and Ragebeans, between them they have almost all my favourte flavors.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

!!!

So totally blushing like hell right now.

You think I should post this at s_d and/or link to it on noscans?

By the way, I just discovered that I missed (was locked out at the time) the scans of the Hal funeral issue, and I made the damn fool mistake of reading the comments. Jesus, some of those people will take *any* opportunity to bitch about Johns. And to slam him in favor of even one of Ron Marz less asshattery-filled issues...

... damn it, I just need to drown my fury in Ragebeans. (Remember, if you put the Ragebeans and the Willbeans together, you get the combo for my Harvey Dent as a Lantern costume! Which side will win out?!)

[hybridhelen.livejournal.com]

That's bloody awesome.

Uh, yeah, you don't know me from any other random stranger on t'internet, but I saw this on a friend's flist, can couldn't not say something. I remember this being discussed on NS_D, and am so impressed that you actually went out and bought all those jelly beans. And the photos are so pretty! Go you!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Why hallo stranger! Huzzah, and thankya! For a moment there, I was worried that I'd be the only one delighted by my own geekery.

Of course, the hard part will actually be sticking to the game. I may give up when we get the inevitable two-page splash of ALL the Black Lanterns, whereupon they find me dead, SEVEN-style, from a distended tummy of licorice and wild blackberry beans.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Death is an emotion?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Neither is willpower, really. Since this all stems out that original idea, this entire thing is based in silliness, which takes the piss out of it all just enough to make it fun.

But if you wanna try to work with it, one could say, I suppose, that Death is the absence of all emotions. The blotting out of the spectrum.

And come on, haven't you had days where you've felt like death? I'd hate to face an all-powerful zombie corps of people embodying that!

[bitemetechie.livejournal.com]

You, dear boy, are mad. Adorable, but also abso-bleeding-lutely mad.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I find it funny how often you seem to point things like this out when you know full well you and the Captain would be SO up for joining in!

[gnort.livejournal.com]

They make that huge spread and my namesake gets shafted? What sort of treachery is this?

I read somewhere that he died off-panel (lame!) If this is the case he should come back as a black lantern, everyone else seems to be so it's possible. For some strange reason, I'm OK with a zombie G'Nort

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Johns has said there are no plans for G'Nort at present. Sadness.

No, he's still alive. Last time we saw him was in a Guy Gardner mini-series written and drawn by Howard Chaykin. G'Nort's face was mostly killed off, and G'Nort was now pissed off, grim, and bitter, but still not very smart (and no, not in a fun way either). Thankfully, it sold for shit so no one noticed.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

How come there aren't any people in the orange group? I would very much enjoy the Tales of the Investment Banker Corps.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

How come? Because Orange is avarice, and he wouldn't want to SHARE it with anyone! If there was more than one, they'd spend more time fighting and backstabbing each other than anyone else!

That said, I'd love to see that. Along with this icon.

[tragical-mirth.livejournal.com]

If I was there, your Greedbeans would be gone. Which seems oddly appropriate.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

MINE.

[chickenhat.livejournal.com]

I have only one response/battle-cry for that:

"I WANNA PUT IT ON MY SANDWICH!"

[mellifluous-ink.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of the Weird Al song:

And he really makes a mighty fine jellybean-and-pickle sandwich--
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH!

[mellifluous-ink.livejournal.com]

This is the best thing ever.

I am disappointed in the lack of male Star Sapphires. I'm going to pretend the lost one is a drag queen. That okay?

Is this part of an ongoing party project that will eventually cumulate in world-domination some sort of crazy awesome party of world-domination?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we're wondering if/when we'll see male Star Sapphires. If they happen, they're not allowed to wear different costumes.

[parsimonia.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, good stuff!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

And to think, I almost didn't link to this, because I feared that no one else would find this as delightfully mad as I. How foolish of me to forget the Motto! :)

[hallidae.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, the bean flavors call. *_* Except licorice, you can keep that nasty stuff.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I hated it myself for the longest time, but now they remind me of absinthe, so they're all good. :)

[finback.livejournal.com]

A+++ would eatread again

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Thankya!

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

Licorice is my favorite! I hope everybody dies!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Love this comment. :)

[electronickiss.livejournal.com]

I wish I liked Jelly beans that much. BUT! I will find a way to adapt this - I might actually buy a bunch of flavoured beers or schnaps and truly make it a drinking game.

..

Also. Your hat makes me squee.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh man, with schnapps, it's hard to tell if you'll die first of alcohol poisoning or diabeetus!

And thanks! If you're so inclined to see it in action, forgive me for the self-pimpery:

http://thehefner.livejournal.com/540485.html

And if you're interested enough to see the second part, even though it lacks the hat:

http://thehefner.livejournal.com/540765.html

[swimpenguin.livejournal.com]

Awww, Ruffles has an actual name! That's not as fun as the name Ruffles..
I would keel over from your drinking bean game just from the fact that I'm not a jelly bean fan.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

You're like the third or fourth person to say that, and it never fails to baffle me. Jelly Belly beans are so diverse (to the point that they can replicate even the flavor of pencil shavings!!!), surely there must be ONE that you'd like!

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

I love you so much.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I was so hoping you, of all people, would see this. Now, I am truly free to go to bed.

[kinggoose.livejournal.com]

That is just all kinds (colours?) of awesome!

[lillbet.livejournal.com]

This sounds like fun! Any social circle that doesn't squee at the thought of eating pretty jellybeans and reading a comic book ain't worth having. :D