The Green Lantern "Drinking" Game. With something worse than booze.

[thehefner]

Over at noscans_daily, mod stubbleupdate proposed a "drinking" game to play as we read along with the upcoming DC-Universe-spanning GREEN LANTERN epic, THE BLACKEST NIGHT.




He originally wrote:


DC's long awaited Blackest Night storyline is about to kick off.

To make reading the event more enjoyable, try the Blackest Night 'Drinking' Game.

First, you'll need to buy lots of Smarties:



... or their cheapo-equivalent from your local Pick 'n' mix. Lots of them.

Sort them out into different colours.

For every Green Lantern that appears on the page, eat a green smartie
For every Orange Lantern that appears on the page, eat an orange smartie
For every Blue Lantern that appears on the page, eat a blue smartie
For every Red Lantern that appears on the page, eat a Red smartie. Then spit it in somebody's face
For every Sinestro Corps member that appears on the page, eat a yellow smartie
For every Star Sapphire that appears on the page, eat a pink smartie
For every Indigo Lantern that appears on the page, eat a purply smartie
For every Black Lantern that appears on the page, eat a Minstrel.

Take a note of the body count in the issue. Once you finish reading, eat that many Minstrels.

If the Anti-Monitor shows up, have a Kit Kat Chunky or something.

Get fat.

First of all, there are dark chocolate candies called Minstrels? Hoo boy.

Secondly, there's a fundamental flaw to Stubble's otherwise-brilliant plan. Namely, we do not have (the good) Smarties in the USA! Or at least, not commonly. It's a shame, I love 'em. Instead, we have our Smarties: those chalky little discs of fruit-flavored crap.



For this game, I figured, we Yanks would more likely have to go with M&M's, or even Skittles, depending on which has the more applicable color variety. Except there are no blue Skittles nor purple M&M's! What to do?!

Stubble's suggestion? Jelly Belly jelly beans.

selenesue immediately came up with the following designations:

Red: Sizzling Cinnamon [for that red rage rawr!]
Orange: Sunkist Tangerine [but you can't have any because they are all MINE!]
Yellow: Buttered Popcorn [weirdest flavor candy ever. Be afraid!]
Green: Margarita [unless you want to go for Jalapeno]
Blue: Berry Blue [or maybe Blueberry]
Indigo: Wild Blackberry [good for what ails you]
Violet: Grape Jelly [although they pinky-magenta they use in the book might better suit Strawberry Daquiri]
Black: Liquorice [no brainer there, although Dr. Pepper is pretty dark]

Great suggestions, but it seemed to rather limit the rich possibilities that Jelly Bellies offered. My suggestion? Put all the like color beans together in different bags, and when a Lantern of that color shows up, you reach in and take that color's bean. And if you're really adventurous/crazy, throw some of those Bertie Botts beans in the mix. And/or a pack of these*

Russian Roulette with jelly beans! It will either greatly enhance or utterly destroy the enjoyment of THE BLACKEST NIGHT.

But what to do about the Black Lanterns? I mean, there are gonna be a LOT of Black Lanterns, and frankly, I don't want to be reading along, and having my experience end up like, "Oh my god, Blue Beetle is back as a Black Lantern! Oh no, what will ewwwwwww licorice."

Because dang it, I hate the taste of anise unless it's in absinthe. I think some form of chocolate is called for, because considering all the Black Lanterns who'll be showing up, that'll be a LOT of chocolate. But nymphgalatea is madly considering taking it too far:

Excellent. I have three Smarties Easter Eggs, one Minstrels Easter Egg, and a packet of Milkybar Buttons (just in case any White Lanterns show up).

I am fully prepared for any eventuality, and will no doubt feel very sick by the end of the event.

... She's going Full Chocolate.

Girl, you never go Full Chocolate.

Dear lord. By the end of THE BLACKEST NIGHT, even Ruffles the Red Lantern...





... will end up with...





I'm telling you, he'll go from this:





To this:







...

This will be the best crossover ever. Assuming I can still reach the pages by the end of it.





*By the way, benchilada, I'm somewhat tempted to get these and have a game of jelly bean chicken with you when I come visit in August. Of course, knowing you, you've probably shotgunned an entire pack of the Bertie Botts beans.

Comments

[darkestnova.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm. I want to play this game.

[gore-whore-5.livejournal.com]

Wait... you know Benchilada? Holy fuck it's a small world. I don't actually know him, but I follow his shenanigans on randompictures.

In other news, this post is made of both win and awesome. I'm tempted to play this game with you.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

He was a regular on scans_daily, and was LJ friends with interdisciple long before I was! In fact, Ben just visited DC a couple weeks ago, whereupon the world nearly imploded from our meeting of Internet Awesomeness. I anticipate even greater when I swing by to visit him in August on my way to Vancouver Fringe from Indianapolis Fringe!

I have this horrible visual of us becoming like this over the months and issues come out:

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Nice fun game, but rage cat going to have the last laugh at the end.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ruffles deserves his own mini-series, damn it. It'll focus on his epic battles with Ch'p, Krypto, Streaky, and G'Nort.

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

I WAS TOLD SMARTIES WERE CANADIAN

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

ALL LIES.

According to Wikipedia: Rowntree's of York, England have been making "Chocolate Beans" since at least 1882. The product was renamed "Chocolate Beans" in 1937. Rowntree's were forced to drop the words "chocolate beans" in 1977 due to trading standards requirements (the use of the word "beans" was felt to be misleading) and so adopted the "Milk Chocolate in a Crisp Sugar Shell".

The brand became known as "Nestlé Smarties" in 1993, five years after Rowntree's was acquired by Nestlé, although they had been known as Smarties for many years previously. Smarties are no longer manufactured in York; production has now moved to Germany, where a third of them were already made. Outside Europe, Nestlé's largest production facility for Smarties is in Canada, where Nestle has been manufacturing products since 1918.

So you have *that* claim to fame at least.

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

This is terrible.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

But at least you HAVE them! We, alas, do not! Also, our Cadbury chocolates are pale, pale imitations of the real British and Canadian versions! God damn you, high fructose corn syrup! I want my real Fruit And Nut Bars, dash it all!!!

[bagelofdeath.livejournal.com]

Wait, so we're not going the HFCS route here?!

IS THAT WHY YOUR CHOCOLATE TASTES SO WEIRD?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

That's what Sam told me! At least, I think it was Sam. It makes perfect sense, really. I'd heard you guys use actual sugar rather than HFCS in your Cadbury's chocolate. I haven't actually checked out the chocolate bars here, but I'm already willing to accept that idea on face value, since we seem to sweeten everything else with that shit. UGH.

It just might explain thing, yes. I fear that, much like our beer, our chocolate must only be consumed if it comes from a smaller, independent producer who actually cares about quality. Microbreweries and gourmet chocolatiers are the way to go here!

I am SO stocking up when I get to Montreal. With as much as I can reasonably get over the border.

[nymphgalatea.livejournal.com]

Is a good game, yes, if a bit sick-inducing.

I pulled out Rebirth, Recharge, all my issues of GL and Corps & played it over the weekend. Om nom nom.

I now have no Easter eggs left and a stack of chocolate-fingerprinty comics.

(I have a lot of purple smarties left though. Indigo Corps needs to make more of a showing so I can guzzle them too.)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, you're already on it in retrospect? Hardcore! Let me know when the diabeetus kicks in.

[e-to-the-ipi.livejournal.com]

Just for the record, Minstrels are AWESOME. Seriously, try some if you get a chance. Even if the name may have some poor connotations... It's generally accepted here.