thehefner | Photos: Route 66, Day Four (the Texas panhandle failure to Tucumcari, NM)

Lookit, guys! They even have rotary phones!

My first stop in Texas was in the town of McLean. Its population of 890 probably makes it not quite a ghost town, but when I was there, it was certainly desolate.

And amid the dusty crumbling buildings stands another old 66 landmark:

That's right, pallies. It's an entire museum dedicated to barbed wire.

We got pointy wire! We got pokey wire! We got jabby wire! We got grabby wire! We have flat wire, fat wire, red wire, blue wire, we got sharp and dull and everything in between!

I'm gonna steal that hat as a prop for my new movie: THE PASSION OF JOHN WAYNE.

But there's more than just barbed wire at the Devil Rope museum. It's dedicated to the full history of wild west agriculturin', yee-haw!

Fence riggin'!

Black smithin'!

And even a Route 66 section, complete with oh my sweet fucking god what the hell are those things?! Kill it! Kill it with fire!!!

Plus a couple old cartoons making light of all-too-timely foibles that face travelers. Exploding noses not included. "It ain't that you people drive along Route 66; the miracle is that any of you get there at all!"

Following that, I hit up Groom, TX, to see the largest of the many giant crosses in the state.

To give you an idea how big it is: those little figures on the bottom are life-size statues depicting the Stations of the Cross. They were all actually very well done, and I regret not taking close-up pictures of them. Not for the first nor last time, I wish I could do this all over again, and do it better. Take more close-ups, adjust for lighting, see even more things I wouldn't normally have seen.

How you know you're in a Texas rest area:

When Kevin and Ridgaway warned me to "watch out for snakes," they weren't kidding!

I pulled over at this rest area to take a shot of the view. Little did I realize that I would be seeing this for the next couple hundred miles. From here, huge chunks of Route 66 all but vanished, replaced by the highway. This meant that I couldn't just follow the route and naturally just wind up at the spots I was looking for: I would have to go off the main highway and drive miles and miles of interchangeable wasteland in the vague hopes of finding something.

If I still had the optimism and adventurous excitement of the first day or two, I probably would have gone exploring. But after the waitresses in Oklahoma nudged by precarious neuroses, I suddenly became filled with fears of going off the main road, worrying about getting another flat or something and being stranded in a ghost town without cell phone reception (which would come and go through these areas).

So I missed essential sights such as Cadillac Ranch,, Palo Duro Canyon,, and... well, that's about it, really, there's not much else to see as recommended in RTUSA aside from steakhouses, and had only one food goal in mind: the Midpoint Cafe. Which astute readers will recall was closed when I finally got there.

And so, deprived of steak and pie, I drove on to Tucumcari, New Mexico, staying at the famous Blue Swallow Motel, which Smithsonian Magazine called, "the last, best, and friendliest of the old time motels."

Seeing it in person, I agreed that it was worth the extra few bucks to forgo cheap and skeezy motels in favor of the Blue Swallow:

Cozy retro rooms! Each of which come with their own personal garages!

It was a fine place to reflect upon the last day and a half, to get back up the courage and sense of adventure for the trip ahead. But the real turning point, the real kicker that would remind me why I set off to do this in first place, would come the next day, over in Santa Rosa, NM. This one's so big, it'll require its own post. Be warned, though: only a handful will probably understand just why.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That "rotary" phone looks like it has buttons.

Then that's my fault as a photographer. It's the real thing, pally. I tried it and everything.

Holy shit that was a Barth puppet (the cafeteria worker from You Can't Do That On Television). Skin looked about the same.

Did you see a barbed wire G-String?

hahaha. Well-played.

That'll be in the second wave of official HEFNER MONOLOGUES thongs.

"THE PASSION OF JOHN WAYNE"

I laughed so hard I scared my neighbors. And my walls are *not* thin.

And here I was disappointed in thinking that was one of the weaker attempts. Huzzah!

...it's the inbred, radioactive mutants. ;)

Lovin' the tales of the road and the pics. Definitely more adventure than I had when I did a trip from NY to Vegas with a friend years ago. Lots I would have done differently on that trip, many more pictures I would have taken, side road trip I would have (attempted to) insisted on.

And that barbed wire museum is kinda awesome.

And of course the goddamn Tick-Tock Man!

Thanks, pally! It means a lot to me! Three or four more to go! That is, before I head out on Monday to go up North via the West Coastal route!

I've always wanted to do this and still may, though not as well as you. Thanks for letting me live vicariously through the Hef for a few days ;)

Hey, if you take what I've done here and learned from my many mistakes and missed opportunities, you could easily outdo me! Godspeed to you, I hope you do!

A Barbed Wire Museum!!
I must visit America again someday. Actually many years ago I was going to buy a Harley and travel the States cross country when I turned 40. I am now 36 and three quarters and the chances of me actually doing that are almost nil - sadly.
But it would be good to see the real America
Credit to you for doing this road trip and blogging about it.
Finally I know I am sick in the head when I find the dummy waitress kinda hot!!

The Real America is a tricky prospect, especially as certain types of my countrymen revealed throughout the election made me go, "Oh, so there's a *reason* why we don't hang out in the same circles." But that's part of the goal here, to immerse myself (if only fleetingly) in these parts of my own country that I'd never normally go of my own volition.

Old Route 66 is a perfect for biking, I'd imagine. Long shots are just isolated and desolate, with all the traffic going on the major highways. Don't give up hope! I saw bikers who were definitely pushing 50 and higher.

And yes, yes you are sick. Her eyes followed me, man. It was fucking unsettling.

"...those little figures on the bottom are life-size statues..."

Pierce his side? Hell, the fall will kill him!

Ah, I love that classic scene from BUTCH PHARISEE AND THE SADDUCEE KID.

Photos: Route 66, Day Four (the Texas panhandle failure to Tucumcari, NM)

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It's not the flat tires you have to worry about in the wasteland...

Re: It's not the flat tires you have to worry about in the wasteland...

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Sundance Kid / Bible cross reference

Re: Sundance Kid / Bible cross reference