Question of the Day

[thehefner]

If you could fight any American president in history, who would it be, and why?

(For the sake of things, I'd prefer it if we excluded Bush, just for obvious reasons.)

I said Jackson, just because of that whole Indian genocide thing, but it was generally agreed that he'd thoroughly kick my ass. So would Teddy. Nixon would fight dirty. LBJ would sweet-talk me into being friends, take me out drinking, rape and discard me, probably. Lincoln would use one hand to hold me at bay. Fighting Taft would be like fighting the Kingpin. Carter and I would just start crying, hug each other, and say "So this is what it feels like when doves cry."

If it were a tag-team match with political figures, I'd want Aaron Burr in my corner, I'll tell you that much.

Comments

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

Fighting Taft would be like fighting the Kingpin.

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Love it.

Well. If I just wanted to maximize my chances of winning, I'd probably go for William Henry Harrison, or maybe FDR. If I wanted a sportsmanlike test of my fighting abilities, then Teddy. For the strategic test, perhaps Washington, or Eisenhower. (Not Grant.)

If it was out of anger... I really can't think of anyone. No President gets my dander up enough. Not Clinton, not Harding, not Nixon, FDR, Buchanan, Wilson, Hoover, John Adams... it's just me, I know, but I don't take anything they did that personally.

Burr?? Pfft. Teddy'd hit him with a rifle butt while he was still loading his dueling pistol. Now, if you're allowing prep time - Ben Franklin, all the way. Zartch.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I dunno, Burr was a major badass even without the pistols. Hell, of all the guys at that time he's the one I especially never'd want to mess with. I suppose a fight with Teddy would be like pitting Bill the Butcher against Wolverine; you know who's gonna win, but it'll still be a hell of a fight.

The problem with FDR, we decided, is that he'll probably use his psychic cripple powers, or else sic Churchill ("It's clobberin' time, old chap!") or Stalin ("STALIN SMASH PUNY CAPITALIST!") on us.

I also figured I could grab ahold of Van Buren's sideburns and smash his face into my knee. That'd be fun.

[ortugatay.livejournal.com]

Alright, now that we discussed this in GestapoLarry's class, I think I officially have to go with John Adams. I could so break him, the fop.
And, y'know, William Henry is obviously an easy pick, so I'll leave the poor guy alone.
I think if I met Taft, though, I'd have to hug him. For no apparent reason. I just would.