self-analytical stuff: Heffie's Intensity

So it's been put to my attention (by a ladyfriend of mine with whom I've had some sexual tension for the past couple years) a possible reason why the few relationships I've had have turned out the way they have. Now, it's already been purported by one person thatI am a rather... intense person. Now, I've never thought of myself as intense. Passionate, but not intense. But whatever.

Anyway, this ladyfriend examined it further, and stated that I have an intensity that is both alluring and frightening. That it is this intensity that attracts these women, and it's the very same intensity that makes them back off. Frightening was the word for it, I think.

So all night now I've been thinking about this notion. Is it true? Is that how it's worked? The theory holds up to at least four relationships so far. The thing is, if it's true, I'm not entirely certain what to do about it. She suspects it's rooted in years of suppressed anger towards my father, which is a logical but somewhat all-purpose excuse for any reason why I might be fucked up.

This bears further consideration, but I'm not sure to what purpose. Like, should I try to change this intensity because it scares women away once they develop feelings for me? Or is it their problem, not mine, to resolve?

Any insights you guys might have would be appreciated. Am I so intimidating? Am I too needy, perhaps (and why, it occurs to me, is needy such a dirty word?)? Do I expect too much, or just too much from women this age?

Heck. Maybe I just smell.