Oh, Waffles!

I'm now seven episodes into HEROES.

The acting is terrible, the dialogue is shoddy, the rules are totally predictable to anyone who's ever read a "Flash Fact" or Warren Ellis comic, I'm incredibly sick and tired of seeing Ali Larter's front teeth, I want to shove the Log Lady up Suresh's arse anytime he goes into another pretentious and vague bit of philosophical bullshit narration, Jeph Loeb continues to bring about the downfall of all that is good art.

And I can't stop watching.

I'm totally hooked.

Yay Hiro.

to lick your frigid fingers for the rest of your frigid life.

I still haven't busted out the 30-year-old bottle of cognac yet. I thought to do it to celebrate THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES, but really, I'd kinda like to drink it with someone who knows what they're tasting, rather than alone with my plebeian tongue.

So as I was thinking up a good excuse to splurge and treat myself, look what just came out on DVD.



YES. YES. YESYESYES.

Chances are you've never heard of this film. They used to air it on Bravo... until Columbine happened. This scathing satire on that very special Hell known as the British boarding school was Malcolm McDowell's first major role, and you can so perfectly imagine Stanley Kubrick watching this and thinking, "That's Alex DeLarge."

This damn film was incredibly hard to find for years, with video stories carrying ass-old VHS copies. The DVD is being released through the Criterion Collection, which means it's a film of note, the presentation and extras will be top-notch, and it's fucking expensive. But it's worth it. Hell, while I'm splurging, I might as well go for this:



The lost brother of that classic genre of 80's funny-kids-in-very-real-peril films like GREMLINS, THE GOONIES, STAND BY ME, THE LOST BOYS, and FRIGHT NIGHT (and last year's underrated MONSTER HOUSE), finally brought back to DVD. I didn't see this until last year, but it hit me with a glorious wave of retroactive nostalgia that I fell in love with it instantly.

If you're not into the spirit of those aforementioned 80's films, it won't do a damn thing for you. If you don't, hey, no worries, not for everyone.

But for everyone else... oh holy hell, people: WOLFMAN. NARDS. BOGUS. HORACE. DRACULA+DYNAMITE=OTP. Need I say more?

Between these two films and HOT FUZZ on DVD, yes, I think I shall indeed reward myself for a first show well done. And now I shall eat ramen noodles to make up for the cost.

Now get me O LUCKY MAN! and NIGHT OF THE CREEPS on DVD, stat!