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Henchgirl's mother was a strict Jehovah's Witness, which meant that she never had a single Christmas. When I heard this, I told Mom, and while depression and laziness kept us from ever doing much beyond a Jewish Christmas (Chinese food and a movie) in the years since Dad died (I always did Christmas with him, as was his demand), she agreed that we needed to give this girl a fucking Christmas. The whole thing: a tree, presents, stockings, nutcrackers, eggnog, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, cookies, and, of course, horrible family drama!
You see, my grandmother's in the hospital after having had a stroke. Or two. Or five, I'm really not certain how many she had, or has had since, but things are just kinda up in the air right now. And for those who don't know, Mom's relationship with her mother is a little strained. Put it this way: Mom's relationship with her mother was pretty much my relationship with my father: we both would take care of our parents who were invalids by choice, taking their abuse and buying their groceries, then coming back home so that Mom and I could look at each other and ask, "So, what did your parent do today?"
So Henchgirl has arrived smack-dab in the middle of this. But regardless, we had a Christmas. A real Christmas like I haven't had since I was, like, five. Hell, I didn't stop there! I was so determined to give Henchgirl the full experience, we spent Christmas afternoon getting Chinese food with the Jewish families in Potomac, then went to see THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, which was excellent, by the way. I totally didn't get choked up at the end, are you kidding, of course not, no, cough.
That night, we had a full ham dinner with mashed potatoes, veggie stuffing, corn pudding, and white chocolate macamadamia nut cookies Henchgirl made that were made of naught but pure glorious fat I love her so. It was amazing.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: the best fucking Christmas e-ver!
Actually, I nearly ruined the whole thing by insisting that we sat down to watch my favorite Christmas move, Akira Kurosawa's IKIRU, which Henchgirl didn't care for, but Mom and I still loved it, so whatever. Still one of my favorite movies ever. I cry every damn time.
The next day, Henchgirl and I planned to head to the beach house in Rehoboth, to finally get some private time, bow-chicka-and-all-that, before New Year's Turkeymas dinner with the Rudes at Chez Duda. And as she descended the staircase to leave, that's when she got the phone call. She had to sit at the bottom step. I sat down next to her, even though we were next to the basket of pet leashes, and the area smelled like dog. And then told me that her mother was dying.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two dying mothers, and the best fucking Christmas e-ver!
( Come, join us for a totally non-depressing-we-swear sing-along about alcoholism, dying mothers, and nervous breakdowns! WHEEEEE!!! )
By the way, you know the best part of typing an LJ entry while your technologically-inclined girlfriend watches? It's when she laughs her ass off when...how would you put it, dear?
(--when she realizes the Boy has to cut and paste HTML code and doesn't even know the keyboard shortcuts, the poor stunted darling. From this day hence, the Henchgirl vows to do all the coding.)
We're so goddamned adorable, I could drink bleach.
You see, my grandmother's in the hospital after having had a stroke. Or two. Or five, I'm really not certain how many she had, or has had since, but things are just kinda up in the air right now. And for those who don't know, Mom's relationship with her mother is a little strained. Put it this way: Mom's relationship with her mother was pretty much my relationship with my father: we both would take care of our parents who were invalids by choice, taking their abuse and buying their groceries, then coming back home so that Mom and I could look at each other and ask, "So, what did your parent do today?"
So Henchgirl has arrived smack-dab in the middle of this. But regardless, we had a Christmas. A real Christmas like I haven't had since I was, like, five. Hell, I didn't stop there! I was so determined to give Henchgirl the full experience, we spent Christmas afternoon getting Chinese food with the Jewish families in Potomac, then went to see THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, which was excellent, by the way. I totally didn't get choked up at the end, are you kidding, of course not, no, cough.
That night, we had a full ham dinner with mashed potatoes, veggie stuffing, corn pudding, and white chocolate macamadamia nut cookies Henchgirl made that were made of naught but pure glorious fat I love her so. It was amazing.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: the best fucking Christmas e-ver!
Actually, I nearly ruined the whole thing by insisting that we sat down to watch my favorite Christmas move, Akira Kurosawa's IKIRU, which Henchgirl didn't care for, but Mom and I still loved it, so whatever. Still one of my favorite movies ever. I cry every damn time.
The next day, Henchgirl and I planned to head to the beach house in Rehoboth, to finally get some private time, bow-chicka-and-all-that, before New Year's Turkeymas dinner with the Rudes at Chez Duda. And as she descended the staircase to leave, that's when she got the phone call. She had to sit at the bottom step. I sat down next to her, even though we were next to the basket of pet leashes, and the area smelled like dog. And then told me that her mother was dying.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two dying mothers, and the best fucking Christmas e-ver!
( Come, join us for a totally non-depressing-we-swear sing-along about alcoholism, dying mothers, and nervous breakdowns! WHEEEEE!!! )
By the way, you know the best part of typing an LJ entry while your technologically-inclined girlfriend watches? It's when she laughs her ass off when...how would you put it, dear?
(--when she realizes the Boy has to cut and paste HTML code and doesn't even know the keyboard shortcuts, the poor stunted darling. From this day hence, the Henchgirl vows to do all the coding.)
We're so goddamned adorable, I could drink bleach.
