braindead ramblings and burning questions

[thehefner]

I meant to go to sleep three hours ago. Then I started flipping around TV and started watching Blacula, Jurassic Park III, and IT simultaneously.

I believe the boxer Jack Johnson said it best: "I shoulda stood in bed." Or at least, gone to bed. Because those movies just weren't worth it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: even for the shoddy made-for-TV production values, Tim Curry as an evil clown is infinitely scarier than a big spider. And seriously, what's up with that big spider fight? "Hey guys, don't look into the light, or you... oooh, pretty light." "Hey, what are you doing, don't look in the... oooh, pretty light." "Hey, guys, stop, you... oooh." And then they all become cult members and eviscerate the big spider. WTF? I'm still banking on the book being good. After all, if I had to judge 'SALEM'S LOT by the made-for-TV movies, well...

And why don't we just call JPIII Sam Neill and Bill Macy's mutual "paycheck" movies? And is Tea Leoni just constantly getting cast as the hateable bitch these days? And what was with the whole carayzee funky new dinosaur? OOH, WATCH OUT, IT'S BIGGER AND NASTIER THAN A T-REX! God damn, they even have Mary Sue dinosaurs now.

And speaking of Mary Sues, my God how much I wanted to KILL Magma in X-MEN LEGENDS. Arg.

I will say this, though: it's amazing to listen to the Jurassic Park theme by John Williams and be transported back twelve years to when I was in fifth grade, thought JP was the greatest movie ever made, dreampt of growing up to become a palentologist and teaming up with a robotic cyborg Robert Muldoon who you just KNOW survived the raptors because he is so badass. Plus, for some reason, he had Johnny Cage's Shadow Kick capabilties.

I am the Eater of Worlds and of Children. Or at the very least, pie. Pie first, then the worlds and the children.

Comments

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

it's amazing to listen to the Jurassic Park theme by John Williams and be transported back twelve years

Indeed. I got to play the JP theme in my middle school band (which I, as a horn player, LOVED). I even got one of the solos! Add that to playing Star Wars in college, and I've experienced some excellent Williams music. It's even more fun to play than it is to listen to, although listening to it now is excellent because it reminds me of playing. :-) In the concert where we played Star Wars, we also played The Planets...we brass players spent the intermission wishing for an extra pair of lips! We were exhausted but so stoked...such excellent work!

I agree with you, though. The movie was totally unnecessary. ;-)

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

And speaking of Mary Sues, my God how much I wanted to KILL Magma in X-MEN LEGENDS. Arg.

Wait, what? Amara is in this game? What system is it for? Is she in pseudo-Legionnaire armour?

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

....wait. They made a Jurassic Park III? What? How?

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

yes. and it was awful.

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

you know what that means john. Galactus vs. Giant Spider!!!!!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Well god, how could it not be? There shouldn't have been a Jurassic Park II, for cryin' out loud.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh God, BRILLIANT!

Wait. Giant Spider or Evil Clown? Or should Galactus fight both?

I'm tempted to hand the fight over to the guy who beat the Fantastic Four over the one who was beaten by the seven kids with strong willpower, but regardless, it could be one hell of a fight.

[tankgirl88.livejournal.com]

that is the most adorible icon i have ever seen..::gives heffy a gold star::

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Amara? Dunno who that is; this Magma is "Alison Crestmere," and while I've heard tell she was in the New Mutants, I'd never heard of her before. She felt like a character specifically made for the game, and also one who is, like, more powerful than any of them. For that and so many other reasons, she just reeked for Mary-Suism.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I'd seen 'em all around LJ until I finally found out they came from iharthdarth. They make me so happy.

But I will still take that gold star, thankee!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Same person. "Allison Crestmere" is what she was told was her real name when it was revealed she and everyone else from Nova Roma were kidnap and brainwash victims. Recently they decided this isn't true, which means her name really is Amara Juliana Olivians Aquilla.

And I assure you, she was not made up for the game. Not only has she been around for a while, she's been in the books recently.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ahh, ok.

I still wanna smack her everytime she says "Yeah! Who bad?!?!" in the game, tho.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Argh! Okay, patterning her personality after the whole "rebellious, exiled from britain and hanging with the villains" period of her life is just wrong. Much better were she cursing at you in Latin!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Actually, she's here portayed as the "you" character, as a wide-eyed innocent sweet girl who asks every single imaginible question just in case the player of the game has never even heard of the X-Men. She also quickly becomes beloved by all the characters; Wolverine takes to affectionately calling her "pebbles."

She's voiced by the same actress who played Elmyra on Tiny Toons, Foxxy Love on Drawn Together, and one of the Kids Next Door. Thus, no matter how whitebread the character is, we still get, "WHO BAD?!?!"

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

"a wide-eyed innocent sweet girl who asks every single imaginible question just in case the player of the game has never even heard of the X-Men"

...harkening back to her first exposure to the outside world, I expect.

"Wolverine takes to affectionately calling her "pebbles." "

>_< No. Ow. My brain, and it's love on continuity. Ow.

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

John, you and i both know that 7 kids with will power are infinitely superior to Richards and his flunkies. BEN HANSCOM FOR EVER!

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

hey, i support anything that gives jeff goldblum work.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Aw man, I wish my high school chorus/concert did cool things like that instead of making us 99% white kids sing slave spirituals.

Speilberg is still talking about JP4, which would also indicate him directing it... c'mon, Muldoon-bot!

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

Aw man, I wish my high school chorus/concert did cool things like that instead of making us 99% white kids sing slave spirituals.

Hahaha...indeed! I was always uncomfortable when my school's chorus did things like that.

JP4, eh? We shall see. No doubt you'll review it for us!

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

This is true! I have to say that I didn't like the Ian character as mcuh in the book as I did when it was Jeff Goldblum.

As usual, I'm late. But whatever.

[pokeyburro.livejournal.com]

I was already halfway through college when JP1 opened. And it was still magnificent. Oh, sure, the story was kinda bleh, but ohh, that music, and ohh, those effects.

The thing about Spielberg is that he's more in touch with his inner boy than any other director I've seen. There's this sense of wonder that little boys have with things like trucks, computers, robots, temples, caves, dinosaurs, dragons, knights, genies, superheroes, and aliens. He doesn't always manage to infuse an entire film with that mindset - they never live on little boys alone - but there's always scenes and setups that, if you're attuned to it, will make you burst into tears at how great it is. For instance, I didn't care for Hook all that much, but there was a scene where Peter was soaring over the island, with Williams' music soaring along with him, and I couldn't help but cry. Everything clicked.

In JP1, it was the team's first jeep ride. Nice day; sun shining from a clear sky. Sattler was engrossed in this wonderful leaf, a living copy of a species extinct for millions of years. Then Grant pulls her view up... her jaw drops... she rises from the jeep seat... and finally, finally, we see a nice long shot of a brachiosaur, walking along, plain as day, popping itself up on its hind legs to pull leaves from a tall tree, before coming back down, the earth gently rumbling as its front feet land.

I guarantee that scene had the absolute attention of every single person in the theater on opening night.