oh dear god

[thehefner]

Meme gacked from Gardner and Kilowog:

If you read this - if your eyes are passing over this right now - please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want (good or bad) BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Comments

[jcsbimp.livejournal.com]

DISCLAIMER -- AN ATTACK IS NOT TAKING PLACE -- DISCLAIMER

Oh, man. The unannounced after-hours kegger at your comics shop. The absolute unadulterated SHIT that would hit the FAN if any details of that cool, cool party -- one of the best -- got out to the general public. Such a great assortment of friends -- from your Rudes, college, comics, LiveJournal acquaintences -- and such stuff we got into. How you managed to acquire the Doctor Doom IceLuge just totally blew me away, and would have done so even if I hadn't taken a Full Metal Jagermeister shot off of it. (Cursing Richards in a hazy funk is SO much fun!) Everyone was there. Wish you could write any one of the adventures you had that night here... understand that you can't.

DISCLAIMER -- AN ATTACK IS NOT TAKING PLACE -- DISCLAIMER

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

Oh, I recall the time that we dropped acid and watched "A Goofy Movie". It was so sweet the way he loved his son, whatshisname? Ah yes, Max. What a queer name. Like the second-rate magician guy who waited tables at the diner of the same name on Saved by the Bell, until they realized what a waste of space he was and the character disappeared. It's funny how stream of consciousness works, because I made that same free association that particular night, and that brought us to a discussion of our mutual hatred for Mario Lopez. At that point, we realized that the best thing to do would be to rent a hang glider so that we could hunt Mario down and kill him. However, we were pretty trashed and didn't happen to have a hang glider, so we hopped on your magic carpet and hoped for the best. Of course it wasn't actually magic, it was just that Persian area rug your mother loves so much, the burgundy one. Boy was she confused when she found us in a dehydrated, muttering heap at the bottom of the stairs the next morning!

[gnort.livejournal.com]

dude, that time you, dave, and I chipped in and bought a third world nation in europe? Everyone thought we ruled it with an iron fist, namely because we all wore titanium body armor, but we were in fact benevolent leaders who only wished to turn it into a Utopia. Oh and we went through the phone book and found a real life man named "Reed Richards" abducted him and threw him in the dungeon where every day we would subject him to noogies, tittie twisters and atomic wedgies. Those were good times indeed

[aeonata.livejournal.com]

I remember the day I cursed Keith Richards instead of Reed Richards...and you made me sit down and watch Fantastic Four eight times in a row until I got it right. I think it was about a week after the zombie invasion- that was cool. Sorry about the carpet. Have you tried the club soda yet?

[stdelia.livejournal.com]

Oh man Heffie, you remember that one time with the dude? You know, the dude with the shoes! And then there was that chick. The chick with the cock. No, I mean rooster. Anyways, then we went to that place...that place with the - uhm - you know those things with the cheese on them? Then that movie, that movie with the dude with the bad nose and the chick with the small boobs! Good times, good times. We need to end up doing something like that again man. It RAWKED! \m/(><)\m/

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

i remember the time we were on tour and we got toally hammered in the hotel room. i mean, one minute we're doing lines off the ass of that stripper and the next thing i know, you're naked and chasing the bellboy around the pool screaming "I GOT YER TIP RIGHT HERE!HAHAHA!"

and then Axl trashed the room while you and i were out on that panty raid at Leisure World.

man, you still owe me for your bail.

[ortugatay.livejournal.com]

So, remember that time that we sewed our own costumes and launched our career as superhero and sidekick? I never did learn how to fly to your satisfaction, but I was a good listener and I looked good in a cape. I'll always think fondly on the day that you had to fight your Doppelganger, Bizarro Heffie Man, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and flailing of hands. You totally kicked his ass though. And I ate popcorn and cheered. What a useful little sidekick I am!