Nickname meme

[thehefner]

If you know me as Hef, you're a male friend of mine from high school and possibly college.
If you know me as Hefner, you're a casual friend of mine, probably from college.
If you know me as Heifer and/or Heffo and/or Hefty, you're one of the people who used to tease me until I cried back in middle to high school.
If you know me as Heftier, you're my Microsoft Word spellchecker.
If you know me as El Jefe, you're my boss at Big Planet Comics.
If you know me as Heffie, you haven't been with the Rudes before Othello. Or you're a spouse to an RM.
If you know me as Hefmeister, you're an idiot.
If you know me as Poopface, you're my brother Edd.
If you know me as Smart Guy, you're my co-worker and arch-nemesis Peter.
If you know me as Kit-Kat, you're Tammy.
If you know me as RHagen6902, you're one of my IM friends back when I only used my mother's AOL computer for internet.
If you know me as SamBluestone, you're from the DC Comics and Comic Book Resources Message Boards, Green Lantern sections.
If you know me as Sam, you understand a side of me few people do.
If you know me as Little John, you're BJ.
If you know me as John H., you're trying to differentiate me from any of a number of other Johns in your group.
If you know me as John C. Slimer, you're my grandmother.
If you know me as Johnny-boy, you're my mother.
If you know me as John, you know me for being me, and it is you whom I appreciate and treasure most of all.