the atoms in water have manners.
Aug. 8th, 2010 05:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerA couple years ago, I toyed with the idea of writing an LJ post wherein I could give you, the reader, a chance to go on a virtual date with me, John Hefner.
It would have entailed self-deprecating reenactments of the various fail-tastic ways I've wooed girls, but I was unable to come up with anything that seemed sufficiently amusing or witty. Honestly, the entirely purpose of the post would have revolved around an excuse to post the complete film of William Peter Blatty's little-known follow-up to THE EXORCIST, a beyond-obscure cult film called THE NINTH CONFIGURATION:
If any of you know this movie, it's almost certainly because either I've shown it to you, you've seen my show THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES: HOW HEFNERIAN, or you've read my LJ long enough to know that this film is a... thing with me. So much so that I have seriously, idiotically used it more than once as a First Date movie. Because I liked to risk relationship sabotage right off the bat, just to see how much weird shit they'll put up with down the line.
You'd never know it's the true sequel to THE EXORCIST. Remember the astronaut in THE EXORCIST? The minor character who was headed for the moon, and the girl said, "You're gonna die up there"? Yeah, CONFIGURATION's main character is the astronaut.
Yeah, the connection is tenuous as fuck, unless you're speaking theologically, as this carries on with Blatty's Catholic themes from the first book/film, all of which came to a head with his climactic conclusion: the novel LEGION, which Blatty himself adapted into his only other foray into film, EXORCIST III.
EXORCIST III. Fuck. That film's fucking brilliant right up until the point where you actually feel the interference of producers taking the movie on a sharp left into shit-town. The footage from the original cut is lost, so we'll never get a proper director's cut, including even more of Brad Dourif in one of the greatest roles he's ever done, and proof positive that they need to cast him as the Joker now for DARK KNIGHT RETURNS.
I'm rambling. But it's almost five in the morning, so I'm permitted. Right?
My point is, THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. It's an absurdist mix between M*A*S*H and ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST with a jarring Catholic theological edge and what is considered to be the greatest bar fight scene ever filmed; a film that's weird in a way that no other film before or since has ever been weird, packed with one-liners that sound quotable and witty until you realize that they actually make no sense. Except when they do.
It's a kind of bizarre where I'm still not sure if it's genius or magnificent failure, but there's truly no other film quite like it, and I have such great love for it as a result. And the cast it littered with "that guy" actors: Stacy Keach, Jason Miller, Scott Wilson, Ed Flanders, Robert Loggia... even a small early role by Tom Motherfucking Atkins.
Incidentally, I met Tom Motherfuckin' Atkins at a horror convention a couple years back and shelled out fifteen bucks for an autograph, purely to see how he'd react to me handing him a copy of THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. He laughed, saying I was the first and only person to ever bring this film to him, and proceeded to tell me stories about how Blatty and Jason Miller were coked out of their brains the entire time. I wish I'd brought along a tape recorder.
As the years pass, I still find myself revisiting this strange little film, even quoting some of the anti-quips to friends like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fiveseconddelay, with whom I bandied about the not-entirely-joking idea of adapting it as a Fringe show.
But more than anything else, I love to introduce people to that film, purely to see what they make of it. Some think it's one of the funniest things they've ever seen. Others share the reaction ofbox_in_the_box, who simply responded, "... What did I just watch." No matter what, the reactions, for me, are the half the reason why I love this film so dearly.
Well that, and scenes like this:
It would have entailed self-deprecating reenactments of the various fail-tastic ways I've wooed girls, but I was unable to come up with anything that seemed sufficiently amusing or witty. Honestly, the entirely purpose of the post would have revolved around an excuse to post the complete film of William Peter Blatty's little-known follow-up to THE EXORCIST, a beyond-obscure cult film called THE NINTH CONFIGURATION:
If any of you know this movie, it's almost certainly because either I've shown it to you, you've seen my show THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES: HOW HEFNERIAN, or you've read my LJ long enough to know that this film is a... thing with me. So much so that I have seriously, idiotically used it more than once as a First Date movie. Because I liked to risk relationship sabotage right off the bat, just to see how much weird shit they'll put up with down the line.
You'd never know it's the true sequel to THE EXORCIST. Remember the astronaut in THE EXORCIST? The minor character who was headed for the moon, and the girl said, "You're gonna die up there"? Yeah, CONFIGURATION's main character is the astronaut.
Yeah, the connection is tenuous as fuck, unless you're speaking theologically, as this carries on with Blatty's Catholic themes from the first book/film, all of which came to a head with his climactic conclusion: the novel LEGION, which Blatty himself adapted into his only other foray into film, EXORCIST III.
EXORCIST III. Fuck. That film's fucking brilliant right up until the point where you actually feel the interference of producers taking the movie on a sharp left into shit-town. The footage from the original cut is lost, so we'll never get a proper director's cut, including even more of Brad Dourif in one of the greatest roles he's ever done, and proof positive that they need to cast him as the Joker now for DARK KNIGHT RETURNS.
I'm rambling. But it's almost five in the morning, so I'm permitted. Right?
My point is, THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. It's an absurdist mix between M*A*S*H and ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST with a jarring Catholic theological edge and what is considered to be the greatest bar fight scene ever filmed; a film that's weird in a way that no other film before or since has ever been weird, packed with one-liners that sound quotable and witty until you realize that they actually make no sense. Except when they do.
It's a kind of bizarre where I'm still not sure if it's genius or magnificent failure, but there's truly no other film quite like it, and I have such great love for it as a result. And the cast it littered with "that guy" actors: Stacy Keach, Jason Miller, Scott Wilson, Ed Flanders, Robert Loggia... even a small early role by Tom Motherfucking Atkins.
Incidentally, I met Tom Motherfuckin' Atkins at a horror convention a couple years back and shelled out fifteen bucks for an autograph, purely to see how he'd react to me handing him a copy of THE NINTH CONFIGURATION. He laughed, saying I was the first and only person to ever bring this film to him, and proceeded to tell me stories about how Blatty and Jason Miller were coked out of their brains the entire time. I wish I'd brought along a tape recorder.
As the years pass, I still find myself revisiting this strange little film, even quoting some of the anti-quips to friends like
fiveseconddelay, with whom I bandied about the not-entirely-joking idea of adapting it as a Fringe show. But more than anything else, I love to introduce people to that film, purely to see what they make of it. Some think it's one of the funniest things they've ever seen. Others share the reaction of
box_in_the_box, who simply responded, "... What did I just watch." No matter what, the reactions, for me, are the half the reason why I love this film so dearly.Well that, and scenes like this:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 10:22 am (UTC)OMG. I've found my next Missionary Focus. Thank you!
As SOON as I get a moment I'm watching the whole thing. Then I'll probably try to find it on DVD. Weird-ass films are the best.
In a somewhat-but-not-entirely unrelated query, have you seen Forbidden Zone?
no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 10:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 01:46 pm (UTC)There has been no second date.
People in Nashville.
Date: 2010-08-08 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 06:20 pm (UTC)I most assuredly have seen it! I actually bought it sight unseen at the height of my Oingo Boingo obsession! Very odd little film, isn't it? That one actually does feel like a Fringe show set to film!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 06:23 pm (UTC)Re: People in Nashville.
Date: 2010-08-08 06:26 pm (UTC)Re: People in Nashville.
Date: 2010-08-08 07:04 pm (UTC)I really, really do love the ninth configuration, by the way. Have I ever said that? It's one of my favorite movies. It's just so odd. It's one of those "they just said yes to everything, didn't they?" movies, and I sort of love those kinds of movies.
Re: People in Nashville.
Date: 2010-08-08 07:09 pm (UTC)Also, relevant to your interests:
http://about-faces.livejournal.com/9907.html
no subject
Date: 2010-08-08 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 02:24 am (UTC)I guess there's not much point holding out for a Criterion version of TNC, is there? :) I'll probably order the DVD through Amazon or something.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 02:41 am (UTC)Man, I'd love to see Criterion's take on it, but honestly, the only thing they could really add to the DVD would be better quality, as the version out there now is surprisingly packed with special features and trivia, presumably handled by one or two hardcore loyalists. I love when that happens. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-08-10 02:57 am (UTC)The only exception to the genius capacity of fandom is Nick Cage.