(no subject)

[thehefner]

Ma and I just watched six hours of OZ straight. So much man penis... and wow, how we still love this show. Amazing how a series of non-stop political intrigue, murder, naked men and gay sex can really bring a mother and son closer together. Plus tonight had the final battle between two characters who'd been on the show from the very beginning, and only one walked away. It was one of the single greatest deaths I've ever seen, and we were cheering, exhilarated. I dream of having a death scene like that someday.

It's also amazing how OZ can make things seem ok, even for a little bit. That said, it's been a weiiiiiird as heck weekend. Or at least interesting. Parties and Rudes and old friends and reminiscing and stewing and movies and Dad and drinking and stuff and so on and so forth. For the first time in my life, I've wanted to go numb. To stop feeling. To block out the stress and the pain, all the things which I've spent my entire life fighting to embrace and confront, then use them to as tools in my art. This weekend, for the first time, I faltered on that. For once, feeling nothing felt preferable to feeling everything.

It's not a feeling that I dismiss and condemn out of hand, but at the same time there's that part of me that sees such retreat as cowardice, as selfish. At the same time as that, there's a distinct comfort in losing oneself. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't feel bad anymore either. And I think about that idea, and I think, no. No, that's no way to live. Even if it is for the odd party or two. I don't know. I've got a lot of things on my mind, clearly some more predominant than others.

I think this break couldn't have come at a better time. Give me time to set my mind straight on a few matters, if I can. Plus, the trip to NYC's gonna be great. A miracle of all can be co-ordinated, but great nonetheless. I'm not anxious to get back to WAC anytime soon.

Comments

[tazira.livejournal.com]

I think a degree of self-preservation has to be allowed for. It's why we take vacations. It's why there are lunch breaks. It's why we sleep. It's a simple, human need for rest. A gift we all need to give ourselves, from time to time.

[katenesswac.livejournal.com]

About that NYC goodness. You still need a place to stay? I heard the Romance tickets might have fallen through for you guys. But I'd still love to have you stay with me! It gets lonely in this apartment alllll alooooone.

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Totally unrelated topic, but have you seen the Ultimen episode of Justice league? I jsut downloaded it and it's got characters based off the Wonder Twins, Black Vulcan, and Apache Chief. And it's awesome.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Indeed, but I knew they'd be in it. What I was much more unprepared and excited for were the appearances of old DC characters Maxwell Lord and Amanda Waller. Maxwell Lord was the corporate head of the restarted Justice League International, which was the first superhero comedy comic book. Imagine levels of Seinfeldian/Malcolm in the Middle/Tick humor in an actual Justice League comic. Hi-larious stuff. Max was never a bad guy, just a self-serving businessman who grew a heart.

Waller, on the other hand, is the head of the Suicide Squad, a team of supervillains who work for the government in order to commute their sentences, Deadshot (the sniper with the silver mask and one eye who tried to kill Aquaman, remember?) among them. Waller is one woman you DO NOT FUCK WITH. In case you hadn't figured that out yet.

....as a stress-reliever....

[karmaflouge.livejournal.com]

feel free to drop by a MacB rehearsal sometime. hell, you can be my ride up there. heather is joining me thursday, so maybe we can go up together. i don't have your number or i'd call you.