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thehefner1.) So you know when that time comes that you put your pants on and you realize that you don't need a belt to hold 'em on anymore? Yeah, I finally got there. So I've been frantically DDRing all morning.
2.) Know what pisses me off? When some jerkass critic describes a movie like Sin City or Spider-Man 2 as "based off the popular comic strip." Comic strip? Where are the strips, motherfucker? I can understand someone resisting the snobbish-sounding-but-accurate label graphic novel (if anyone other than Will Eisner invented it, I'd avoid it too, believe me), but for fuck's sake, when you call it "comic strip," it sounds like you don't even have enough respect for the artform to get it fucking right. Assholes.
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fiveseconddelay just showed me one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. Mickey Rourke is a tough guy biker and loveable asshole. Don Johnson is a modern-day cowboy and sharpshooter. In a lawless future, they are... HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN. I love a bad movie that knows it's bad and stupid and just has fun with itself, thus making it a thoroughly entertaining movie. Still, I can't help but think that if only it had been made ten years either before or after 1991, it could have been much better looking. Regardless, I know own this masterpiece. Be sure to thank Alan when I subject you to it!
4.) Took my Ma to see Star Wars. It's weird, this woman has a hard time with memory, yet it turns out that she remembers the original trilogy better than I do! She said that she watched Episode IV three times in a row the first time she saw it. I still don't know what she liked about ROTS yet, since she was too distracted by all the things she hated. She couldn't get over the dialog, which I actually found much better and fairly tolerable. Nor could she rightly get over how Lucas kept trying to force all the pieces to fit, if you know what I mean ("Go into exile, I must." "Take him to his family. Stay with him" blah blah blah). And we both laughed/groaned over General Grevious, and how he was a total Snidely Whiplash type villain who would have twirled his moustache if he had one. For fuck's sake, HE TWIDDLED HIS FINGERS EVILLY AS HE LAUGHED. And why was he Russian? And how could he be coughing if he didn't have lungs? He didn't have lungs, right?
And speaking of laughable, what about the two "no"s? You know what I'm talking about? I'm sure you remember the second one, the Darth Vader one. What the fuck was that? That's been a joke on The Simpsons for ten years at least, and he tried to insert it in a scene that's meant to be poingant and powerful? I just waited for Darth to next scream "MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" And then there was the first "no," from Palpatine. Actually, it wasn't a no, the way he said it. It was a sneering, drawn-out, "Nyyyo. Nyyonononononononooooo!" This is made all the crappier by the fact that Ian was, up to this point, doing a fucking brilliant and understated performance as Palpatine, but as soon as he got the "scarred" makeup (ok, so I guess I can accept that's what happened, but for God's sake, how come his makeup in "Return of the Jedi" looked much better and more realistic than it does now? His forehead looks like it was designed by the same guy who did Gary Oldman's hair in "Bram Stoker's Dracula," for fuck's sake!). After Palpatine went all fugly on us, he, Anakin, and Grevious all should have grown nice long moustaches so they could have a circle-twirl.
5.) When the slightly-less-abhorent-compared-to-the-previous-two trailer for Fantastic Four came on, my mother asked, "Wait, so THAT'S Richards?"
2.) Know what pisses me off? When some jerkass critic describes a movie like Sin City or Spider-Man 2 as "based off the popular comic strip." Comic strip? Where are the strips, motherfucker? I can understand someone resisting the snobbish-sounding-but-accurate label graphic novel (if anyone other than Will Eisner invented it, I'd avoid it too, believe me), but for fuck's sake, when you call it "comic strip," it sounds like you don't even have enough respect for the artform to get it fucking right. Assholes.
3.)
fiveseconddelay just showed me one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. Mickey Rourke is a tough guy biker and loveable asshole. Don Johnson is a modern-day cowboy and sharpshooter. In a lawless future, they are... HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN. I love a bad movie that knows it's bad and stupid and just has fun with itself, thus making it a thoroughly entertaining movie. Still, I can't help but think that if only it had been made ten years either before or after 1991, it could have been much better looking. Regardless, I know own this masterpiece. Be sure to thank Alan when I subject you to it!4.) Took my Ma to see Star Wars. It's weird, this woman has a hard time with memory, yet it turns out that she remembers the original trilogy better than I do! She said that she watched Episode IV three times in a row the first time she saw it. I still don't know what she liked about ROTS yet, since she was too distracted by all the things she hated. She couldn't get over the dialog, which I actually found much better and fairly tolerable. Nor could she rightly get over how Lucas kept trying to force all the pieces to fit, if you know what I mean ("Go into exile, I must." "Take him to his family. Stay with him" blah blah blah). And we both laughed/groaned over General Grevious, and how he was a total Snidely Whiplash type villain who would have twirled his moustache if he had one. For fuck's sake, HE TWIDDLED HIS FINGERS EVILLY AS HE LAUGHED. And why was he Russian? And how could he be coughing if he didn't have lungs? He didn't have lungs, right?
And speaking of laughable, what about the two "no"s? You know what I'm talking about? I'm sure you remember the second one, the Darth Vader one. What the fuck was that? That's been a joke on The Simpsons for ten years at least, and he tried to insert it in a scene that's meant to be poingant and powerful? I just waited for Darth to next scream "MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" And then there was the first "no," from Palpatine. Actually, it wasn't a no, the way he said it. It was a sneering, drawn-out, "Nyyyo. Nyyonononononononooooo!" This is made all the crappier by the fact that Ian was, up to this point, doing a fucking brilliant and understated performance as Palpatine, but as soon as he got the "scarred" makeup (ok, so I guess I can accept that's what happened, but for God's sake, how come his makeup in "Return of the Jedi" looked much better and more realistic than it does now? His forehead looks like it was designed by the same guy who did Gary Oldman's hair in "Bram Stoker's Dracula," for fuck's sake!). After Palpatine went all fugly on us, he, Anakin, and Grevious all should have grown nice long moustaches so they could have a circle-twirl.
5.) When the slightly-less-abhorent-compared-to-the-previous-two trailer for Fantastic Four came on, my mother asked, "Wait, so THAT'S Richards?"
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Date: 2005-05-26 05:38 pm (UTC)