Two Delightful Movies (w/ Robert Altman Rant!)

So I just saw two utterly delightful movies yesterday.

First was THE LAST BOY SCOUT, written by Shane Black of LETHAL WEAPON and KISS KISS, BANG BANG fame (I'm still totally psyched about entering the best contest EVAH) and starring Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. Holy... crap. This movie kicked so much ass on so many bloody levels, from the action to the shocks (note to self: If Billy Blanks ever starts charging toward my direction, move the fuck outta the way) to the quotability.

And just like KISS KISS, BANG BANG, it is so wondrously, ridiculous filled with one-liners and glorious banter. I mean, for most of you out there, Joss Whedon is your banter god. For me, it's Shane motherfucking Black. No one can do banter better, of this I can convinced.

And after that, I saw A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION, a movie which, since I first heard about it, filled me with 85% giddy excitement and 15% itchy trepidation. Perhaps I should address why for the latter part. I have a confession to make- I kinda hate Robert Altman. I know, that's one of the biggest film snob heresies, but there you go. I hate Robert Altman. Now, this hatred may be unfair, as I've now only seen three films by him- GOSFORD PARK, BEYOND THERAPY, and now this. He's directed many other classics that I probably should see, so by all means, fill me in if I'm missing out.

But the pattern that has emerged in Altman's movies for me is that he likes to films huge ensemble casts, talking overlapping with each other so much that half the dialogue is drowned out by the other half. While these techniques are beloved by many who call these scenes "realistic, like how real people talk," it makes me feel deeply claustrophobic. There's no flow... or rather, an anti-flow. Another example is the other major gripe I have with Altman-- how he interrupts scenes/monologues right in the middle to cut away to another scene, then cut back to finish the previous scene a few scenes later. It completely breaks up the flow of storytelling! If one scene is unfolding, don't go "YANK! Let's see what's going on at the two other subplots!" And you ESPECIALLY don't do that when Garrison Keillor is telling a story! It feels less creative and more ADD than anything.

Gahh. Altman fills me with teh rage. But that's just me. For god's sake, the man made Durang's BEYOND THERAPY unfunny. Wrap your brain around that for a moment. And GOSFORD PARK was the biggest cinematic cock-tease I've ever seen. You have this brilliant cast... hell, you have Derek motherfucking JACOBI... and you don't DO anything with them! RRARGH.

And yet, despite this, A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION was utterly, utterly delightful. First of all, the cast. Kevin Klein is finally taking a break from crap like WILD WILD WEST and THE PINK PANTHER to go back to doing what he does best: be Kevin fucking Klein. He's back in perfect form here, and dear lord, I hope we see it again soon.

While I would have preferred to have seen original casting choices Tom Waits and Lyle Lovett in the roles of Dusty and Lefty, Woody Harrelson and John C. Riley were, of course, simply wonderful. Also, god help me, but I really liked Lindsay Lohan. Just... dash it all, girl, don't be blond! You're clearly totally not a blond! Stop trying! And eat a sandwich; you looked absolutely gorgeous back around MEAN GIRLS! Virginia Madsen only gets more smokin' hot with age, and I just got to say at this point how totally happy I am that this B-movie actress is finally on top after all this time? And not to badmouth her previous movies; CANDYMAN is one of the best horror movies I've ever seen.

(Oh which reminds me. One of the neatest things about this movie was how it inadvertently reunited the casts of two other movies. Kevin Klein and Meryl Streep shared screen time for the first time (I think) since SOPHIE'S CHOICE. And even cooler to me was seeing Tommy Lee Jones and Virginia Madsen together again, as they were in this pretty damn good 1988 film noir ghost story called GOTHAM. Anyone ever see GOTHAM? I recall it being a pretty damn good mystery on its own, featuring naked Virgina Madsen (good!) and naked Tommy Lee Jones (MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!). Seeing these pairs reunited gave me a geek tingle.)

And finally, I hope people will understand what I mean when I say this... Garrison Keillor was the only person who could possibly ever have played Garrison Keillor. The man is so utterly unique, so increasingly bizarre-looking, so sagely and comforting and zen. The man is one of my highest idols and heroes. Of course, that's mainly for the Lake Wobegon stories, which don't even get a mention in this movie (he's holding off to do a whole Lake Wobegon movie... I can only pray he narrates, please dear god).

Two damn good movies, both well worth the seeing and both sorely lacking in love. LAST BOY SCOUT bombed and I fear PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION is on its way, based on the fact that there were only three of us in the theater that night. Go see.

Kevin Spacey Interview Snippet:

What was your reaction when you first saw Brandon in the suit?

There's Superman. Actually, when I first arrived on the set in Sydney they were shooting. I came over to the set to visit Bryan and Brandon was walking out of the Daily Planet dressed as Superman, and I just went "Oh fuck. There's Superman." [laughs]

Is it true you tormented him on the set?

I did torment him. [laughs]

What kind of things did you do?

You know when you're on movie sets, they give you a golf cart so you can drive around in the golf cart to get from one stage to the other. I had my golf cart kind of suped-up. I had Kryptonite stripes put on the side, and I had a big Superman logo on the front with an X through it. It was called the Super-Buster. Then we tied a Superman doll on the back with a chain, so I just dragged it around. [laughs] So, on rainy days it was just a mess. By the end of the shoot it was just a little ball, a mess with a cape. Then I had a bullhorn, and I used to scream through the bullhorn "Superman must die!" [laughs] I remember driving back from the stage and Brandon was coming out of his trailer and he hadn't seen this yet. "SUPERMAN MUST DIE!" [laughs]

How did he react?

"Oh shit, I'm screwed."

***

Also, Spacey announced that this fall at London's Old Vic he will be performing Eugene O'Neill's MOON FOR THE MISBEGOTTEN. Um... so, who wants to go to London with me? Because Spacey + O'Neill = WIN.

(no subject)

Y'know, I really don't see what all the hubbub is regarding Tom Petty accusing the Red Hot Chili Peppers of ripping off "Last Dance with Mary Jane" with the song "Dani California." Bloo could hear a similarity, but for me, the similarity was passing, at best. I mean, if we want to talk about bands ripping off songs, you could make far better cases against, say, the bands Jet and AFI.

I utterly lament to know that a whole generation is going to hear the immortal opening for Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life," and think it's Jet's song "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" Because it sounds exactly the frickin' same! And am I the only one here who heard AFI's song "Miss Murder" and thought, "wow, *someone* wants to be Depeche Mode." Because wow, that song really, really, *really* seems to be ripping off "Personal Jesus" with touches of "Strangelove."

And yet Tom Petty gets his hemp knickers all twisted over a song that, is seems to me, is plenty different enough from his own. Whatever. I'm only slightly more than a casual pop listener these days anyway, reserving my real grumpy opinions for movies and comics.

Oh, and yoink, suburbfabulous; because most of us thought or at least hoped to GOD it was all an act, here's a video of a normal mulleted standup comic named Dan Whitney... who would later adopt the persona of Larry the Cable Guy. It's just kinda fascinating; he's like some horrible red state bizarro world version of Paul Rubens/Pee Wee Herman.

Speaking of which, Adult Swim on Cartoon Network wil start airing PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE on weeknights. SQUEE.