burnt sienna

So I got a question.

The 70's are widely regarded as the greatest decade for cinema. And for good reason. A generation of unprecedented talent were given unprecedented amounts of money and creative control, and if the 70's wasn't the greatest decade for movies, there's no denying that some of the greatest films and filmmakers all time emerged during that era. And yet, this knowledge only heightens an issue that's been nagging at me for some time:

Why did all the blood look like melted crayons?

Look at some of the greatest films from that era. THE GODFATHER. TAXI DRIVER. AGUIRRE, WRATH OF GOD. DAWN OF THE DEAD. When people get shot or stabbed or cut, they bleed out this opaque bright red/orange fluid that we have to remind ourselves is supposed to be blood. What the hell is the deal? Could people in the 70's not afford red food coloring and corn syrup? And ok, red food coloring is nasty stuff, sure, but come freakin' ON, people! You can't have a serious, powerful scene when someone is hemorrhaging Crayola!

Seriously, what is the deal? That simply can not have been the height of special FX blood technology, can it? Did they think it really looked realistic? Did they think it even looked good?



(as an aside, I think the reason I specifically have melted crayons in my head as a visual is due to a segment in either Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers that I saw when I was little, a video of a tour through a crayon factory. I found the vats of brightly colored molten goo entrancing and slightly disturbing. Weird what stays with you, eh?)

Well... you're a sore loser, Captain America

So I just posted the "Commissioner Gordon Retirement Party" issue of Detective Comics, the one where Bruce Wayne's frustrated bodyguard has to put up with her principal's bumbling shenanigans.

Of course, the main reason I posted it was for the Surprise Special Guest Appearance at the end, which shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me. I loved that scene, but in a way, it leaves me discontent. Rather than hear someone describe what happened through narrative, I'd much rather have actually heard the speech. I think what that particular guy would have to say would be more compelling than anything else in this fun little story. Compelling and human.

But someone in the comments pointed out that the writer, Greg Rucka, isn't all that brilliant and neither of us are sure he could pull that level of sophistication off. Especially when you consider who the orator is. To which I remarked, "I may be completely wrong-headed on this front, especially as I have my issues with Bendis (not the least of which is that he writes everyone like BENDIS... Doctor Strange does not say, "Uh, wow."), but still, I'd almost like to have heard his take on the speech. Hell, he would have probably devoted half the issue to it, knowing him."

To which jgalahad gave the best Brian Michael Bendis impression I've ever heard:

"So there's this guy- this, this one guy - this man who, who cleaned up Gotham City. One guy! One! And he's, he's sitting right here with this bad wine (such bad wine, Jesus, I can't even believe you would serve it to this-) and we want - no we fucking NEED to say nice things about him, about this man, Gordon, but AH! Man! This guy! This guy, Gordon, you just can't- you just can't say enough nice things about this guy! You just can't. GORDON! Fuck!"

Brilliant.




And while we're talking about comics, I need to make a confession. I think Grant Morrison is ridiculously fucking overrated. Yes, I'm using the fuck-word here, because I'm cheezed off. Why? Because I just trudged through five volumes of his DOOM PATROL. Five volumes of pretentious, self-important, look-how-fucking-clever-I-am bizarre-for-the-sake-of-bizarre bullshit. A concept like the Brotherhood of Dada might work in the hands of other writers, but here it was utterly intolerable in its wannabe arthouse wankery.

That said, I absolutely adore and worship ANIMAL MAN, ALL-STAR SUPERMAN (best thing DC is publishing), and to a lesser extent, WE3 and ARKHAM ASYLUM (reading Morrison's actual script is like reading a whole seperate book, and together they're fascinating). I know I really should crack down and read SEVEN SOLDIERS all the way through, start to finish, but everything I've read so far has left me cold. People bloody rave and wail about his stuff there, but I just don't see what's so good. I adore Ellis' NEXTWAVE, but Morrison's FRANKENSTEIN did absolutely nothing for me.

I held my opinion on him back until I'd read more of his stuff. But after that sub-fanfic Joker story he did and the fucking Doom Patrol, I can honestly say that, by and large, I really dislike the writing of this man who is hailed by fans as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, comic writers alive.