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Beach Booze Bonanza!
May. 31st, 2007 04:26 pmEver since a few days ago, when I told Mom and Edd that I'd get Dad's house when he dies (which could likely snag me around $700,000), they've been obsessed with the idea of me buying a beach house in Rehoboth. They think it'd be a really solid investment, not to mention extra income if I rented it out in the summer. Plus, it could be an excellent writer's retreat (which I really, really need) as well as a swingin' bachelor pad ("hey baby, take off your panties, sidle on up next to me, and let's watch RAVENOUS, oh yeah."). Also, a house on stilts is your best defense against zombies. So they've been on-line constantly lately, looking up potential houses, just to familiarize themselves with prices and whatnot.
"Also," Mom added, "We can use the rest of the money to get you a hair transplant!"
... My mother: the only person more insecure about my balding than I am.
In other news, I'm starting to notice the effects different forms of alcohol have on me. It really is amazing; theoretically, you'd think booze would be booze. As many of you already well know, not so. And with my brother in town, wanting me to mix him up drinks, my experiments have continued anew.
Red wine, I've learned, makes me happy. I get kinda giddy with red wine, and would drink more, except it's so intimidating. So many different kinds, all going unappreciated on my ignorant tongue, and I have to utterly fight not to drop in an ice cube or two, because DAMN IT, COLD MAKES THINGS TASTE BETTER. But I'm trying to learn, give me credit. I've never once had a wine that complimented a meal before, and would very much like to try.
Gin, on the other hand, is bad news, people. I'm coming to realize that gin is evil and should be avoided. Now look, ever since I discovered Bombay Sapphire, I fell in love with the taste, and no gin-based drink I've made so far even comes close to the elegant excellence that is an ice-cold martini, six parts gin (Bombay Sapphire, no less) to one (or less) parts dry vermouth.
But ohh, what a price to pay. There's a cruel deceptiveness about gin in the way it sneaks up on you, and by the time you realize how hard you've been hit, it's too late. And let me tell you-- gin-drunk is weird. The buzz is very different than wine, vodka, whiskey, or beer. More than any other kind of booze, gin is dangerous because it makes me stupid. Like, dangerous stupid. I'm talking "playing ship's-mast while trying to call an ex-girlfriend" stupid. Edd agrees, saying that most of the times people have given him stories of him acting foolish when he's drunk, more often than not, it's because he'd been drinking gin.
Martinis are a sometimes food, and even then, must only be consumed under the safest of circumstances, with trusted friends. Much, as I understand, it should be when one does acid. Manhattans, on the other hand, are still fantastic... when I can actually make a good one, once out of every six attempts. But especially in my current state, with all that's going on, gin is bad news.
I dunno. I could just really use the company of a cute girl right about now, to rest my head on her bosoms as we watch JUSTICE LEAGUE DVDs. Also, sex would be nice. But the first part is essential.
"Also," Mom added, "We can use the rest of the money to get you a hair transplant!"
... My mother: the only person more insecure about my balding than I am.
In other news, I'm starting to notice the effects different forms of alcohol have on me. It really is amazing; theoretically, you'd think booze would be booze. As many of you already well know, not so. And with my brother in town, wanting me to mix him up drinks, my experiments have continued anew.
Red wine, I've learned, makes me happy. I get kinda giddy with red wine, and would drink more, except it's so intimidating. So many different kinds, all going unappreciated on my ignorant tongue, and I have to utterly fight not to drop in an ice cube or two, because DAMN IT, COLD MAKES THINGS TASTE BETTER. But I'm trying to learn, give me credit. I've never once had a wine that complimented a meal before, and would very much like to try.
Gin, on the other hand, is bad news, people. I'm coming to realize that gin is evil and should be avoided. Now look, ever since I discovered Bombay Sapphire, I fell in love with the taste, and no gin-based drink I've made so far even comes close to the elegant excellence that is an ice-cold martini, six parts gin (Bombay Sapphire, no less) to one (or less) parts dry vermouth.
But ohh, what a price to pay. There's a cruel deceptiveness about gin in the way it sneaks up on you, and by the time you realize how hard you've been hit, it's too late. And let me tell you-- gin-drunk is weird. The buzz is very different than wine, vodka, whiskey, or beer. More than any other kind of booze, gin is dangerous because it makes me stupid. Like, dangerous stupid. I'm talking "playing ship's-mast while trying to call an ex-girlfriend" stupid. Edd agrees, saying that most of the times people have given him stories of him acting foolish when he's drunk, more often than not, it's because he'd been drinking gin.
Martinis are a sometimes food, and even then, must only be consumed under the safest of circumstances, with trusted friends. Much, as I understand, it should be when one does acid. Manhattans, on the other hand, are still fantastic... when I can actually make a good one, once out of every six attempts. But especially in my current state, with all that's going on, gin is bad news.
I dunno. I could just really use the company of a cute girl right about now, to rest my head on her bosoms as we watch JUSTICE LEAGUE DVDs. Also, sex would be nice. But the first part is essential.
