and I have assloads to read before I sleep

My Amazon.com Wish List has become a deeply disturbing collection of nutball survivalist booklets and post-apocalyptic fiction. The things I do in the name of research for my novels.

God, I wish my local library carried these. Am I seriously going to have to buy the complete works of Rangar Benson and Boston T. Parry's BOSTON'S GUN BIBLE? This list has likely already put me on another list or two, keeping an eye on that ticking time bomb that is John Hefner, ready to start up his own guerrilla militia of intolerant geeks and snobs, declaring "JUNO is thoroughly overrated, but it's still pretty damn good! Just not that good! Rrrargh!"*.

Remember, I looking for story research and stuff that'll provoke ideas, not necessarily a practical guide written by a sane person.

To make matters worse, I also have to do an assload of research into Herakles and greek myth in general. I've purchased BULLFINCH'S MYTHOLOGY, which should hopefully ease me into everything, and from there I might go to Robert Graves' volumes (I've heard good and bad things) as well as whatever classics I can find, hopefully good translations that aren't dryer than Johnny Go's Evaporated MartinisTM.

Speaking of translations... so Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, the husband-wife team of Russian translators who made me fall absolutely head-over-heels in love with Dostoevsky*, have come out with their version of WAR AND PEACE? I haven't even cracked Tolstoy yet, and what's that, they've also done ANNA KARARARENENAREA? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Clearly, this is the books' revenge for my not being a reader all my life. Then I discover that reading tons of stuff is the very best form of research and inspiration, and the books of the world go, "Well, well, well, if it isn't the movie geek! Who's the tough guy now, eh??"



*I've reevaluated my opinions on JUNO. See next entry.

**I still haven't gotten through CRIME AND PUNISHMENT yet. I love love love BROTHERS K and THE IDIOT, but so far, CRIME AND PUNISHMENT feels like the latter. I keep hearing that if you can endure the first quarter, it greatly improves. Here's bloody hoping. Shit, I also have to finish my copy of DEMONS!

JUNO revisited

Fuck it, I'll give my further JUNO thoughts their own entry.

I've reevaluated my opinion on JUNO, especially now that it's a mainstream smash hit. My main complaint is how it seems to try too hard to be "cool" in places. Certain scenes felt forced, particular the first meeting with Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman. Juno's character in that scene did absolutely not ring true, spitting out unprovoked one-liners to the delight of the audience but having no real thematic reason to do so, from what I could tell. Was Juno purposely pushing her outrageous snark attitude to cover her own insecurity? Maybe so. And maybe for all the wrong reasons.

Maybe I'm just projecting my own experience with people saying that THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES are better when I'm not trying to be in "stand-up comic mode" but when I'm just being honest and myself, but that's sort of how I felt about JUNO. It seemed insecure about its own heart and quality, hiding behind indie "quirk" stuff and the snarky snappy "outsider-hip" dialogue.

("Mad tunage?" "Hells yeah"? That's what's passing for realistic teenage dialogue? Granted, real-life teenagers aren't exactly paragons of eloquence nor original thought, but still...)

Furthermore, it felt like the screenwriter was putting a bit too much of herself into the character; I'm sure there are plenty of teenage outsiders who closed-mindedly think Dario Argento and Iggy and the Stooges are the greatest artists of all time, but it never rang true for Juno's character. Not with me, anyway, and I'm clearly the minority.

Really, the overwhelming popularity of JUNO just reinforces the realization that I'm just particularly adverse to teenagers (not to mention indie culture, which often seems to have the exact same sensibilities), but even I agree it's a good--perhaps even great--film.

It's akin to real-life teenagers like Juno herself: once you get past the superficial cynicism, the everyone-else-is-an-idiot-but-me snobbery, and the oh-so-cool glib snark disguised as real wit... there's actually a real heart, depth, and humanity to be found.

And that's what ultimately made me like JUNO, even with all my complaints. In fact, I liked it a hell of a lot.

So yeah, while it very much is this year's NAPOLEON DYNAMITE and LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE--the indie movie mainstream audiences can go see to feel cultured for seeing an indie movie--it's a great sight better and smarter than either. That said, I sure as heck don't think Diablo Cody deserves an Oscar nod.




Oh, and Thing # 827 I loved about THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Daniel's delivery of the line, "That makes you my... compet-it-torrr."

He says "competitor" as if it's the name of a Decepticon. Magnificent.

I've also been very tempted to just constantly repeat the "milkshake" monologue to anyone who will listen. Just an average day for Heffie.

hurm. needs more cat macros.

What the heck is with today? Is there just something in the air that's making everyone testy and contentious? Is it the moon? The alignment of the planets? Sand in the vaginas? Or am I just not on my A-game and would have done better to keep my damn fool mouth shut for the day?

In either case, I think I should just stop digging myself deeper in and crawl into bed. Put the day out of its misery and don't come back until everyone gets a good night's sleep.

By that logic, I shouldn't even be writing this entry.

...

Clearly, this calls for a lolcat.


moar funny pictures

... that's a bit better, but I don't quite...


moar funny pictures

Better, better. I'm smiling, I'm chuckling again, these are good things. But still, mere cats ain't going to salvage this day. No, we need something else, one of the Big Guns, but what? What could possibly--


moar funny pictures

Ah, there we go. Now the day is not a total failure after all.