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God, that gravy! The window! The window!
Jan. 8th, 2008 12:00 pmSo you all know about Patton Oswalt's rant on KFC's Famous Bowls, right?
In case you don't Patton Oswalt's now-famous rant can be seen here. And if you have no idea what a KFC Famous Bowl is, consider yourself lucky and just read the description, so you'll know it isn't something Patton was just making up. Unfortunately.
Well, in truth, it turns out that Patton has never actually tried a--as he calls the it--"failure pile in a sadness bowl." So the geniuses at the A.V. Club decided to rectify this.
A.V. Club Taste Test Special: The Bowl At The Howling Rim Of Famous-Ity, by Patton Oswalt. Or, "Patton Oswalt Describes His Heroic Experience Eating a KFC Famous Bowl So We Don't Have To. The Funeral Will Be Monday."
In case you were wondering, it was the "sad ham" line that made me realize I must post this here.
Oh, and while we're being funny (and if![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dormsquirrel doesn't mind) I simply have to post these excerpts from BEST NONREQUIRED READING. This is part is nonfiction, right? Please God let it be.
Best American Names of Horses Expected to Have Undistinguished Careers:
Average at Best
Ayn Rand's Condescending Sigh
Buyer's Remorse
Cloud of Suspicion
Colic the Wonder Horse
Daddy Drinks Because I'm Slow
Exit Strategy
Fond of Long Naps
For the Love of God Run Faster
Glued Lightning
Hell Is Other Horses
I Have No Son*
Limp to Victory
Low Expectations
Luck O' the Amish
Pride of Two Guys with No Business Owning a Horse
Shoulda Bought a Monkey
Slim to None
Some Budding Young Actress's Fit of Pique
Squeak of Defiance
Stupid Gypsy Curse
This is Your Horse on Drugs
Torpor Unbound
Tripsy McStumble
Undisguised Contempt for All Things French
War Criminal
*I like to imagine it said ala Laurence Olivier in THE JAZZ SINGER: "I HAFF NO SON!"
And finally... (Three of the) Best American Beginnings of Ten Stories about Ponies.
1. I saw the pony there, just standing there, just standing in the rain. And that's when I knew that I was going to leave my wife.
8. No one saw the pony rebellion coming. No one but Brent Steel.
10. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And there was this fucking pony, too.
In case you don't Patton Oswalt's now-famous rant can be seen here. And if you have no idea what a KFC Famous Bowl is, consider yourself lucky and just read the description, so you'll know it isn't something Patton was just making up. Unfortunately.
Well, in truth, it turns out that Patton has never actually tried a--as he calls the it--"failure pile in a sadness bowl." So the geniuses at the A.V. Club decided to rectify this.
A.V. Club Taste Test Special: The Bowl At The Howling Rim Of Famous-Ity, by Patton Oswalt. Or, "Patton Oswalt Describes His Heroic Experience Eating a KFC Famous Bowl So We Don't Have To. The Funeral Will Be Monday."
In case you were wondering, it was the "sad ham" line that made me realize I must post this here.
Oh, and while we're being funny (and if
dormsquirrel doesn't mind) I simply have to post these excerpts from BEST NONREQUIRED READING. This is part is nonfiction, right? Please God let it be.Best American Names of Horses Expected to Have Undistinguished Careers:
Average at Best
Ayn Rand's Condescending Sigh
Buyer's Remorse
Cloud of Suspicion
Colic the Wonder Horse
Daddy Drinks Because I'm Slow
Exit Strategy
Fond of Long Naps
For the Love of God Run Faster
Glued Lightning
Hell Is Other Horses
I Have No Son*
Limp to Victory
Low Expectations
Luck O' the Amish
Pride of Two Guys with No Business Owning a Horse
Shoulda Bought a Monkey
Slim to None
Some Budding Young Actress's Fit of Pique
Squeak of Defiance
Stupid Gypsy Curse
This is Your Horse on Drugs
Torpor Unbound
Tripsy McStumble
Undisguised Contempt for All Things French
War Criminal
*I like to imagine it said ala Laurence Olivier in THE JAZZ SINGER: "I HAFF NO SON!"
And finally... (Three of the) Best American Beginnings of Ten Stories about Ponies.
1. I saw the pony there, just standing there, just standing in the rain. And that's when I knew that I was going to leave my wife.
8. No one saw the pony rebellion coming. No one but Brent Steel.
10. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. And there was this fucking pony, too.
