thehefner: (Me as Bill)
[personal profile] thehefner
Halle Berry explains, to the N.Y. Daily News, why she signed to do "X-Men 3": "I learned a long time ago that you have to be part of the commercial life of this business if you want a long career. And to be able to do the art movies, the movies from the heart." Translation: "Nice check!" (that's the nice version; I'm not gonna post how this comment and Ms. Berry herself really make me feel)

The bachelor camping trip was fun, but kinda uneventful. Six-seven guys sitting around a campsite for three days, drinking beers, smoking pot, grilling food, and occasionally going out to fail to catch fish. Edd (my brother)'s friends are good guys, but for the most part these just weren't my peeps. I spent the vast majority of this time relegated in the corner, reading Chuck Palahniuk's "Stranger than Fiction" (good stuff, but kinda sub-Hunter Thompson, if you know what I mean) and scribbling away at my notebook.

At any free moments, I am working on writing any of the following: my Best Man speech, Tammy remembrances for THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES comic that I haven't worked on in months, Johnny Go and Bub dialog scenes, and stream of consciousness Misty ramblings that were set on by my flight. Man, having a stop over in Winsconsin really messed me up for no good reason. Just the idea that I was that much closer to her set me off, and I started to get hit by serious nostalgia and longing for the first time in a month. Not even the partying and revelry of our sausagefest in the woods could deter me this time; I really fucking miss her again. It'll pass, it'll pass. But when you're stuck in limited places like airplanes or the woods or your brother's house, the avenues for distraction are not many. No, bucko, you're stuck with your thoughts and you gotta deal with 'em. So while I was on the plane I just wrote, wrote about her in stream of consciousness form and y'know, some of it ain't half bad. I may post some of it up here if I'm moved to do so, provided that there even is any interest for it. Don't worry, I'll cut-tag.

Meantime, while I was at the airport for my stop-over I distracted myself by flirting with a sweet, attractive, vapid blonde girl playing Lord of the Rings pinball at the arcade. This pretty scrubbed blonde was on her way from NYC where she say several shows and was wearing a Chicago shirt. We proceeded to talk about Chicago for awhile but, y'know, in the manliest way possible of course. Learning from past mistakes, I really upped the flirting this time and the very clear signals, and based on the way she played with her hair and nibbled on her fingers while she looked at me, I think I was successful enough. She was on her way back home to San Francisco, so we said our goodbyes and our names (hers was Jen. Of course). It was just a flirt, not going anywhere, and certainly not with the fact that I pretty much kinda sorta yeah I think it counts have a new girlfriend, Kristen, the geek2geek girl.

I hesitate to go too much into that right now till our own relationship develops a bit more. In the meantime I'm trying trying not to overthink, and I'm failing. I think too much. I know it's better than not thinking enough, but my brain is never a quiet place. No, I just wanted to flirt to get my mind offa Misty, which worked for a total of 2 seconds I think. Then Cinnabon came in to assist my angst with fresh, right-outta-the-oven cinnabons all gooey and warm and sweet and nonjudgemental. I don't care if I'm spilling out over my jeans, that was a damn tasty bun right there.

Call me crazy, but I truly, honestly think if only I had a piano or an electric keyboard, I bet I could teach myself how to play. Not concert level, no, but I bet enough to play and write songs. I've always had an above-average ear for music. I bet I really could. I bet I'd have better luck with it than I had with trumpet or guitar. Misty once said I should have learned to play guitar, that girls would be all over me then. My response was, "yeah, but not the right girls." Piano men don't exactly rake in the chicks, I suppose, but then, that's not why I wanna do this. And if it doesn't happen, hey, it's not as if I have a lack of side projects to work on.

Date: 2005-08-02 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katenesswac.livejournal.com
Piano men don't rake in the chicks? Well, Rufus may not, but he doesn't want to. Ben Folds on the other hand... yeah, I'd take me somea that.

Date: 2005-08-02 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Yes, but on the other hand, I don't know how many groupies are throwing themselves at Ben Folds... "Oh yeah, baby, 'Brick' gets me SO HOT! Dude, I looooove snorting coke and listening to 'Army'!"

Date: 2005-08-02 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2sick2pray.livejournal.com
I fucking hate Halle Berry. Who the fuck told her she could act?

Oh right. The academy. *headdesk* ARGH.

Date: 2005-08-02 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Now if only the Academy could all have a collective headdesk, that would please me heartily indeed.

Date: 2005-08-02 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kwsapphire.livejournal.com
Halle Berry bothers me SO MUCH. People like her, everyone proclaims what GREAT ACTORS they are. They can't act their way out of a paper bag, they're just pretty. I'm pretty, but that doesn't mean I can act. Halle was TOTALLY unconvincing as Catwoman. She played a COMPLETELY bland Storm. And yet people swear up and down that she'sa good actress, because she's pretty. That's like saying "My car can beat your car in a race because mine has a better paint job." You know, because that has ANYTHING to do with it.

Date: 2005-08-02 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kwsapphire.livejournal.com
I just realized how confusing my second sentence was, so let me rephrase. Instead of

People like her, everyone proclaims what GREAT ACTORS they are.

to

Everyone proclaims what a great actors she, and other people like her, are.

Date: 2005-08-02 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Doom is pleased by your corrected grammar.

Date: 2005-08-02 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
You're absolutely right. The only role I've ever liked her in was Bullworth. Angela Bassett should have been Storm, hands down. I haven't seen Monster's Ball, so for all I know maybe she did deserve that particular award, but based on her performances in other films I sincerely doubt it.

I like the car analogy too. And I can't comment on her performance as Catwoman because I suspected that watching it would be like watching Batman and Robin. Or maybe watching them open the Lost Ark. Whichever's worse.

Date: 2005-08-02 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kwsapphire.livejournal.com
Watching Catwoman was like watching a trainwreck. Grotesque, but you can't look away. I can cope with Catwoman being a TOTALLY different woman than Selena, that her name is Patience Price, that there are many catwomen, that the catwoman life is a gift from Bast, passed to a worthy woman by a cat, I can accept all that.

What I couldn't accept was the fact that Halle pulled of NEITHER Patience Price NOR Catwoman. She was not convincing as being timid, underconfident, artistically gifted, nor witty, agile and intelligent enough to be a master criminal. And her attempts at being catlike, for instance, saying things like "Purrrrrrfect" and twitching her head like a spastic epilepsy patient, were .. well, obviously terrible in ways that almost defy description.

Date: 2005-08-03 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
And I think I'm now bleeding out of my ears again, thank you very much. And hell, they already lost me at that Patience Price and Bast shit, but they just went that extra light year, didn't they? Owwww.

Date: 2005-08-02 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] interdisciple.livejournal.com
i don't think chris martin from coldplay did too badly (ahem, GWENYTH).

Date: 2005-08-02 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Yeah, but they named their kid Apple. Coo-coo, coo-coo. It all balances out. Hot, but nutty.

Date: 2005-08-02 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] interdisciple.livejournal.com
I think Apple's a sweet name. Then again, I'm probably no standard of sanity...

Date: 2005-08-02 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fishymcb.livejournal.com
Hey, I'm not gonna go and name my kid Apple, but honestly, they could have done worse. Like Jason Lee...Pilot Inspektor, anyone? Eeeh.

Date: 2005-08-02 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marred82.livejournal.com
What about Billy Joel? He's ugly and drives into houses, but he got a hot chick who's like thirty years younger than him.

...Halle Barry and Jamie Fox follow the same idea: "Hmm...I just won an oscar. What movie should I do? Oh, here's a pile of crap that they'll pay me 20 million dollars for! Hazzah!"

...I'm going to name my kids Omar Schmarr and Mallo. It'll destroy their childhoods.

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