why I love working at the comic shop; OR, I love geeks

[thehefner]

A customer brings me a book to ring up. It would be business as usual... except I can't find the price anywhere on the book.

ME: (flipping the book around everywhere looking for the price) Hrrm? Hmmm... rrr?
CUSTOMER: Hey, I guess that's free, huh?
ME: RRRRARRRGH! No. (continues searching and grunting) Rrr... a-HA! Fifteen ninety-five. Forgive me, when I can't find the price I turn into the Frankenstein monster.
CUSTOMER: Gotcha.
ME: Money goooood. Fire bad!
CUSTOMER: I just don't want you turning green on me or anything.
ME: No, no, I'm the gray Frankenstein monster. Back from when he originally appeared.
CUSTOMER: Ahhh, so you're the Frankenstein monster from before they refined printing techniques.

This, my friends, is why I love working at the comic shop.

(NOTE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT: The Hulk was originally gray before he was green. This was because the cheap printers in those days couldn't generate the proper green for the Hulk's skin. After a few issues, he did soon become the Jade Giant we know and love so well.)

Now if I can only find a girl with whom I can have conversations like this, I'll be set. That, and a book deal. And a job in a professional theater troupe. And ultimate power. But comic geek girl first and foremost.

Comments

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that's... wacky's not the right word, but it's the only one I can think of. So, like, if I were to try to milk you for good stories about your life at this job involving parolees, would you have any? I only ask because at my brother's bachelor party, one of the guys there used to be a parole officer, and wow some of the stories he had to tell...

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

I have a couple good stories.. most of the funny stuff I could tell is only funny to those of us who work in the call center. Few people who don't know how the system works would really get a lot of this stuff.. but there are some universally funny stories. For instance one time a guy left home when he wasn't scheduled to, and the PO (that's parole officer) was so fed up that she had me send a message "Go home, or go to jail." and the guy's arrow on the map turned around and went back home. A coworker once got to send a message "Go home or pack your toothbrush." And I think the best story is of a Bounty Hunter (a bail bondsman used to use our system) who had us on the phone as he chased down this guy, and he left his cell phone on as he got into a fist fight with him.. it was funny and scary at the same time.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh man... especially that last one, that's awesome. Gotta use that in a story sometime.

Working in a comic shop, the worst we have to watch out for is Catpissman. Everyone comic store has a Catpissman.

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

eeewww...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I just found the original essay some retailer wrote about how every comic store has a catpissman. It's ever so true. I'll post it sometime. Then again, I don't know how often you have to personally deal with parole-breakers and bail-jumpers or whatever the actual terms are that I'm missing and thus making a patootie of myself... well, I'd imagine them by and large not smelling much better.

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

It used to be that I NEVEr had to directly talk to the people actually wearing the equipment. Recently we introduced a new, lower level of supervision, no GPS tracking, literally just "home" and "away." These offenders, if they violate, I have to call them at home. When we found out that the CEO had promised this to FL DOC, the call center was OUTRAGED. At first my fears were unjustified, the offenders weren't rude. But some offenders are getting sick of us calling, and have become very beligerent. There are some people I just wont call anymore, our contract with FLDOC be damned.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine that convicted criminals (and correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what they all were/are, right?) would exactly be the nicest, most polite people to chat with.

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

All the ones that are part of the Department of Corrections are convicted, yes. Those on the lower level of supervision are mostly theft/drug offenses, so they range from polite to rude. Those on the most intensive GPS tracking are mostly sex offenders. Thank goodness I dont have to talk to them.. yet..