Unclean! Unclean! Still... stink... of failure...!

[thehefner]

After three and a half weeks of trying, I finally managed to ask the cute Bennigans waitress out. And was flat-out rejected. I don't know what was worse: the "Sorry, I don't date customers" part that seemed a little more than just her obeying a policy, or the "Awwwwww!" she uttered before it.

Times like this, I'm really, really sick of being cute. If I weren't so sick today, maybe I could have worked the actor mojo and faked suaveness. Then again, this is me.

Of course, it didn't help what happened at today while I was working at the video store. I was assigned to reshelve a few action movies. The stack was already prepared for me, organized in alphabetical order, so I took it and went to work.

First video on the stack? Tom Clancy's: NETFORCE. *sigh*

Next video? Patriot Games. "Oh, great."

Next video after that? Play Misty for Me "Oh come ON! That's not even an action movie!"

Next after that? John Hefner Sucks. Well, ok, that last one was made up, but for the sake of comedy, it happened.

Ah well. My Shannyn Sossomon icon will make dull the pain. Oh Shannyn, you may be unbearably annoying in everything except Rules of Attraction, but since that's the only one I've seen, I still love you and your lip-bite-y-ness.

Comments

[winterist.livejournal.com]

grr. i just don't understand it. women must be insane. if i had been unattached when i met you, i totally would've been all over you.

[winterist.livejournal.com]

i mean, seriously, you had me at "my precioussss-sssss"

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Now, see, how many guys could say they won a girl over with a Gollum impersonation as a first impression?

[winterist.livejournal.com]

you should let me know when you're in the area next. we should totally hang out and do wonderfully dweeby things together.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Same goes whenever you're in DC.

Next time I do Philly I need to do a whole weekend so I can see all my peeps up there.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Jesus, wow, thank you.

That's the thing, whenever I meet a woman like you, you're already taken. I see it at the comic shop all the time.

But thank you sincerely.

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

Next video? Patriot Games. "Oh, great."

You must admit that Sean Bean is amazing. :-) (I watched Equilibrium again tonight, so I'm even more reminded of the fact.)

Sorry it didn't work out..."You're so cute" is almost as bad as "Let's be friends." Next time, work that "I'm a talented actor who gave a character more dimensions than Jude Law did" mojo!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh, trust me, I do loves me the Sean Bean (and I LOVES LOVES LOVES me the Equilibrium, even if I have to kinda turn off my brain somewhat to do so). But as you are new here to my journal, you may not truly understand why Clancy books and movies are a kinda... thing... with me. Maybe someday I'll siddown and read/watch his stuff, but not for right now.

Ha, yes well, I'll be certain to give that a try next time...

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

Oh, trust me, I do loves me the Sean Bean (and I LOVES LOVES LOVES me the Equilibrium

Just so we're clear on that. :-)

even if I have to kinda turn off my brain somewhat to do so

Haha, yeah...I was with two friends who'd never seen it before, and one of them kept asking all these questions. I wanted to tell her to accept the premise, shut up, and watch the beautiful people fight!

But as you are new here to my journal, you may not truly understand why Clancy books and movies are a kinda... thing... with me. Maybe someday I'll siddown and read/watch his stuff, but not for right now.

I thought perhaps there was something I was missing. Mostly, I just had to stand up for my guy. ;-) If you ever feel like seeing the movie, he'll be just as great then. That's the wonder of celluloid!

Ha, yes well, I'll be certain to give that a try next time...

Let me know how it goes!

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I saw Sean play Macbeth in London... the critics trashed him, but I thought he was fucking great.

Taye Diggs... *sllllide*

Yeah, if you really wanna know the dilly... yo... you could just read back over the past couple weeks of entries and probably figure it out. After this post, I'm planning on cutting down on my Clancy rantings, but this was too funny at my expense not to post. I imagine you'll figure it out one way or another; I don't exactly have a problem with not talking/ranting about things.

Which ties into your last point about letting you know- you'll soon discover that I have these... stories... that I tell which have been dubbed "Hefner Monologues," wherein I turn my personal misadventures and humiliations into your entertainment. So rest assured, no matter how these things turn out, they're liable to end up there.

[kmousie.livejournal.com]

I saw Sean play Macbeth in London

So jealous! I would have been in your camp, of course. :-) A while back, I wrote about watching Goldeneye on TV...Alec was so cool. I really like rooting for the hero, but the villain is often so much more interesting!

I think Taye should have a clause in his contract that no one ever gets to do that to his face again. hehe

So rest assured, no matter how these things turn out, they're liable to end up there.

Looking forward to it. :-)

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

Patriot Games was pretty good (the book was better) but I would not expect much out of NetForce if I were you. It's all Hollywood, from what i hear. The books were so bad I didn't make it through one of them.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

You know, everytime I hear or read a guy telling this kind of story - "I asked her out and she said and I feel like crap now" - I feel guilty. I especially feel guilty for dumping a guy who was getting too serious too fast when really I thought we'd work better as friends. Needless to say, we're not friends.

So: keep bitching about heartless women; some of us are listening and maybe we'll change our ways, who knows?

[fishymcb.livejournal.com]

Hey, even if none of you change, it's still fun to bitch about it, within reason. If you're actually changing, hell, that's like dessert.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Well, I feel mildly less guilty because two of his brothers and his Mom - his Mom, who barely speaks English, mind - tell me I did the write thing, and my parents do, too. Very weird. Poor guy.

But yes, by all means, bitch away! You've got the right!

[stdelia.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry sweetheart.

[tompurdue.livejournal.com]

Man, dude, that sucks. Pure, unadulterated suck. It sounds like you don't even get a funny story out of it.

Unfortunately, asking waitresses out is something that works better in rom-coms than in real life. Waiting tables is gross, sticky, unpleasant work. While one would love to think that that's exactly the moment that they'd be most flattered by a nice boy paying them a compliment... well, shit, I don't understand women either.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Curse Office Space for lying to me!!!