I ate my wife! My aunt! Why did I DO that?!

[thehefner]

Joss on the Wonder Woman movie: "Ultimately it's not really a reinvention or even an updating excatly. Basically it's a distillation. It's taking things about her that are great and the things that have made her an icon and discarding the things that are less important."

Yeah, like the star-spangled panties. Unimportant things like that. Bastard.

So I just became everything I hate. No, I didn't turn into a full-screen DVD of Van Helsing, I mean I just went to get lunch at Subway and decided today was a fine day for a tuna sub. No problem, right? Then I go on automatic pilot and order... mayo. So now I have a tuna sub... with mayo. Dear god, what have I become?! (it's kinda gross tasting, I'll add)

The reason I'm so absent-minded is the fact that our comic store got the first look pack, a preview of next week's comics, and I read one of the greatest joys I have experienced in recent history: MARVEL ZOMBIES. An alien virus has spread throughout the Marvel Universe, or at least Earth, turning all the superheroes into ravenous flesh-eating zombies. I hope you understand what I mean when I say it's Return of the Living Dead, Marvel style.



The only survivor, that is, the only one still uninfected, is Magneto. So it's Magneto versus the Marvel zombie hordes. Zombie Spider-Man's webbing runs out mid-swing and he falls to the ground. "Oh, jeez! I broke my leg! Like, in half!" and Mags uses Zombie Captain America's shield to slice off the top of Cap's skull. Cap, the brains hanging out of his open skull: "Look what the punk did to me! If we catch him-- when we catch him-- I GET DOUBLE RATIONS!"

But they eventually get to Magneto, and soon Wasp, Ant-Man, Thor, Daredevil, Spider-Man, and Luke Cage are all eating him. And in maybe the issue's highlight, Magneto screams (extra points to anyone who gets the reference!): "I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON ME!" Then Zombie Hulk busts in, grabbing a limb for himself so greedily that it snaps off. "Hulk's man broke!" Beautiful.

After they've eaten and are digesting Magneto... sort of... Spider-Man cries out, "Oh god, what have we become?! I ate my wife! My aunt! Why did I DO that?!" And Ant-Man empathically says, "Spider-Man, please. There's not a person here who didn't eat a loved one."

Suffice to say, I simply cannot wait for the rest of this mini-series.

I am giving my room a complete overhaul. A little more "19th Century Gentleman's Club" and a little less "post-apocalyptic pig-sty."

Comments

[surrealname.livejournal.com]

Day of the Dead, Rhode's Famous last words. And i'm going to use my bonus points right now, and tell you to get in the kitchen and make me a pie white chocolate!

[jellied.livejournal.com]

Damn! Beat me to it.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I expected it from him, but now you, my dear, you win a cookie.

DAY OF THE DEAD fan, are you as well?

[yancentric.livejournal.com]

so it's the one from ultimate FF. interesting that in the first issue they already tell the story *and* have the timeline pass what occurred in UFF (where Mags was still alive at the end..)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the very first page is Mags crawling from the wreckage of the blown-up dimensional-transporter.

[jellied.livejournal.com]

What kind of cookie?

Make that fan of zombies. I have signed stills from the orginal "Dawn of the Dead" above my bed.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Now that's hot. I had no idea you were a zombie fan. Score!

So are you or are you not aware of my brilliant plan to tell the stories of Bub and Johnny Go?

You can have... a cookie in the shape of a kitten, ala the Warner Brothers cartoon "Feed the Kitty"?

[yancentric.livejournal.com]

hunh. i was hoping there'd be more lead-in. you know, typically every marvel character can get out of any situation no matter how dire. yet somehow this was so pervasive that it affected everyone immediately. would've been interesting to see how every hero failed so spectacularly.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I was expecting and hoping to see (if only to see more zombie Richards!), but the actual story was surprising and fun as hell. Definitely worth the checking out come next Wednesday.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

Two words my friend, meatball sub. You can not go wrong with the meatball. It has served me well for years.