thehefner: (Bill the Butcher: Tsk Tsk!)
[personal profile] thehefner
My GOD, but still being the only kid on your block to still have dial-up is ghetto to teh MAX. Um. 'Yo.'

I'm hard at work at the next Hefner Monologue, which would directly follow the 'first' one that I posted earlier this week. This story will incorporate meeting the Rudes, my miserable Freshman year at college, meeting Clancy, my adventure at the Playboy Mansion, my drunken adventure in London, and meeting Tammy. It should be finished by tonight or tomorrow, we'll see.

Meantime, I've wasted a few precious minutes on a meme:



Two Names You Go By
1. Heffie
2. Hef

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. English
2. Austrian

Two Things That Scare You
1. Basements
2. My reflection coming to life and acting independently

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. LiveJournal
2. California Tortilla (or at least every other day it seems... I needta cut back, but I get every eighth burrito free! FREE, MAN!)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. My Green Lantern tribal T-shirt
2. Polo PJ bottoms

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
1. Loudon Wainwright III
2. Peter Gabriel

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Someone who can share my love of comics and all manner of movies
2. Someone whose mere presence can make me feel good.

Two Truths
1. I'm a whore for the audience (my professor's words)
2. I'm ticklish pretty much anywhere between my chest and the top of my legs. This has made foreplay a bit difficult at times.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You About the Opposite Sex
1. Eyes
2. Smile (and laugh)

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Performing (especially Hefner Monologues)
2. Writing (fiction, LJ, whatever)

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. To play Hamlet.
2. A good, healthy relationship with an alluring, funny, smart, sane geek girl

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Ireland
2. England

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Publish the full sagas of Sam Bluestone, Johnny Go, and the Hefner Monologues.
2. Leave a legacy of note.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Damn fool women.
2. How the hell am I going to compress a whole story of the meeting the Rudes, my miserable Freshman year at college, meeting Clancy, my adventure at the Playboy Mansion, my drunken adventure in London, meeting Tammy and make it seem complete?

Two places you shop
1. Big Planet Comics. I love you, employee discount!
2. Best Buy. I love you, discount DVDs!

Two people you haven't talked to in awhile
1. Damn fool woman #1
2. Damn fool woman #2

Two favorite web sites
1. LiveJournal
2. Superdickery.com

Two cars you owned
1. Radar Love, my red 1987 Chrysler LeBaron convertible.
2. My Toyota Corolla. Reliable and good, but pedestrian and boring.

Two pets you had/have
1. Simba, a surly Siamese who hated life and hated you, but loved me.
2. Polly. She had six toes on each foot and no equilibrium thanks to ear mites; if you dropped her, she fell on her side.

Two Favorite Sports
1. Fencing.
2. Zombie cage wrestling.

Two things you did last night
1. Went to MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR dress rehearsal
2. Ranted like a crazy guy being the 7-11

Two shows you like to watch (currently airing)
1. Daily Show
2. The Colbert Report

Date: 2006-01-19 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wendywoowho.livejournal.com
Dial-up and CalTor. Cornerstones of my life.

Date: 2006-01-19 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fishymcb.livejournal.com
Miserable freshman year at college? Whaddaya mean - oh.

That reminds me, my bad. In the event that you ever went Steve Buscemi and had a People To Kill List, we are cool now, right? Right?

RIGHT?

Date: 2006-01-19 02:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eliyes.livejournal.com
"2. I'm ticklish pretty much anywhere between my chest and the top of my legs. This has made foreplay a bit difficult at times."

O.o
I guess I can see how that could become a problem. I, for one, would get hideously distracted by tickling you.

Incidentally, every time you do one of these memes, it reinforces my conclusion that you're just a far more interesting person than I am.

Date: 2006-01-19 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] irish-caffeine.livejournal.com
2. A good, healthy relationship with an alluring, funny, smart, sane geek girl.

They exist man. I know this for a fact. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.

Date: 2006-01-19 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Riiiiiiight ;)

It's funny, I'm writing this and I realize it's only at the end of sophomore year that I start to make real friends I can connect with... and they're Robyn and Clancy. *shakes head*

All is forgiven. I don't even mention anybody by name, although I do majorly allude to Jill Coste. And besides, dude, at the end of the day I can't kill my geek friends. Who will I have to talk Simpsons with?

Date: 2006-01-19 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
Heh heh, I'll take that as a compliment. I just hope I'm interesting enough to make THE HEFNER MONOLOGUES work.

Date: 2006-01-19 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thehefner.livejournal.com
I'm going to CalTort right now, for that matter. Hmm...

Date: 2006-01-19 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fishymcb.livejournal.com
And besides, dude, at the end of the day I can't kill my geek friends. Who will I have to talk Simpsons with?

I'unno...Coast Guard?

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