thehefner: (Simpsons: Paddlin')
[personal profile] thehefner
So Ma's thinking I should go to bartending school.

On one hand, it would be a well-paying and interesting way to research for stories. On the other, anybody else think it's odd to send the son of the alcoholic to bartending school?

In other news, it's only been one day since I've been left with my grandmother, and already I'm going mad. It's bad enough having taking care of one elderly foul-smelling slightly-mad relative who has absolutely no regard for personal health or hygiene, who leaks bodily fluids wherever they go because they don't bother to take care of themselves no matter what help is offered, whose personal odors within a fifteen foot radius are vomit-inducing, and who is so generally embittered and paranoid that they sit, content to live in abject squalor and stew over how everyone has wronged them. Now I have two. Only although this one isn't an alcoholic; this one hoards food and keeps stealing ours. She's been eating mom's candy cake decorations for god's sake. We have to hide all our food and snacks throughout the house in places where we think and hope she wouldn't look.

... On second thought, times like this it'd be really handy to know how to whip up a whiskey sour.
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