the wrong kind of monologues
Mar. 7th, 2006 11:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thehefnerSo for those you don't already know, my step-father Gordon is a special, special man.
He's liked The Hefner Monologues so much that he thought it would be great if I wrote a response to The Vagina Monologues, entitled, of course, The Penis Monologues. I said, "Gordon, no. It's too obvious, and besides, I am not going to write..."
But he interrupted me and said, "Aha! I have it! The Rectum Monologues! Think about it, you could say, 'I had originally thought to do The Penis Monologues, but that would only appeal to half the audience. So I'm doing The Rectum Monologues because I believe in equality of the sexes!' You see, John? It's perfect, everybody can relate to it!"
...
The worst part is, he's been thinking about it continuously for the past two weeks. I come home from my trip yesterday, and what do I find on the table? The man has written four pages of The Rectum Monologues and printed them out for me. I haven't got the guts to actually read it yet.
I really have no words here.
He's liked The Hefner Monologues so much that he thought it would be great if I wrote a response to The Vagina Monologues, entitled, of course, The Penis Monologues. I said, "Gordon, no. It's too obvious, and besides, I am not going to write..."
But he interrupted me and said, "Aha! I have it! The Rectum Monologues! Think about it, you could say, 'I had originally thought to do The Penis Monologues, but that would only appeal to half the audience. So I'm doing The Rectum Monologues because I believe in equality of the sexes!' You see, John? It's perfect, everybody can relate to it!"
...
The worst part is, he's been thinking about it continuously for the past two weeks. I come home from my trip yesterday, and what do I find on the table? The man has written four pages of The Rectum Monologues and printed them out for me. I haven't got the guts to actually read it yet.
I really have no words here.
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Date: 2006-03-07 04:56 pm (UTC)because it had to be said
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Date: 2006-03-07 04:57 pm (UTC)Glad you had a good weekend, at least. My brother took my computer with him so he could install my new hard drive. As a result, I didn't write up that Without a Trace stuff for you or get any more editing done. But I've got my compy back now, so I'll be hard at work soon. :-)
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Date: 2006-03-07 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:19 pm (UTC)uhm, when you say "special, special man"....
Date: 2006-03-07 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 06:12 pm (UTC)Although, to be honest, I've been thinking there should be Penis Monologues, if for no other reason than to piss off my campus Women's Society.
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Date: 2006-03-07 06:42 pm (UTC)Personally, the Vagina Monologues ticked me off because Eve Ensler doesn't seem to know the difference between her vagina and her vulva. If you're going to use a technical term, use it correctly. Or just call it the Pussy Monologues or the Cunt Monologues.
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Date: 2006-03-07 09:39 pm (UTC)"I monologue in your general direction!"
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Date: 2006-03-07 11:42 pm (UTC)Should I mention that I would totally see The Rectum Monologues?
Nah. That might be scary.
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Date: 2006-03-08 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-08 09:12 pm (UTC)"Conversations with Nipples"?
Date: 2006-03-08 11:28 pm (UTC)