god damn fucking comic geeks

[thehefner]

And all at once, I remember why I stopped posting on comic book message boards in the first place.

These are the same people who either suck up and wank over every single "hot" comic coming out today, or they're the people who bitch and moan and complain about everything (and yet, I'm willing to bet money, still buy the crap they complain about).

The world is filled with total fucktard smartasses who'd rather make a snide or obnoxious comment than to actually engage in intelligent discourse. These guys are like, "Hm, sure, I can see what he's saying, but it'd be funnier if I purposely missed the point to make a snarky comment!" I think Jay and Silent Bob were right, sometimes I just want to drive to these trolls' homes and knee them in the fourteen-year-old balls. But no, honestly, I just want to talk about comics without people being fucking dismissive smartasses. I'm just saying, it's hard enough to find like-minded people as it is.

Remember, kids:



Some folks think this level of wankery applies to scans_daily. Honey, you ain't seen wank till you've been on newsarama, aintitcool, or dccomics.com. Fucking comic geeks.

Comments

[pondering-duck.livejournal.com]

I agree.

If nothing else 2+3 so totally does = cats

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

People who like comic books are very bad people and should be shot in the head.

(linky? I wanna see :D)

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I trust you were detecting the self-aware irony in my above rant, yes?

http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=95473

Most of the comments were pretty civil, and more were directed against the one over-the-top geek who backed up my original complaint, which has since ballooned into pure fodder against my original, legitimate complaint. And when it gets to the point of someone saying:

"Bendis is such a hack. Virtually all of his characters use words like "a", "the", "he", "she", and "avenger". Come on man!
Let's get a real writer on this book instead of one who drives up sales and tries ne things with the characters."

Well, it may not be all that fury-inducing in of itself.

But bear in mind, dear. I'm a veteran of Green Lantern message boards back in the day. No greater hive of scum and fucktardery exists. And if this doesn't seem like much to get worked over (and lord knows, I am the overreacting type), trust me, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

[heykidzcomix.livejournal.com]

Well, of course, yes. But c'mon, man--you're arguing over BENDIS. Bendis, the man who proves the best way to get twice the pay for half the work is to repeat EVERY. LAST. SCRAP. OF DIALOGUE until he has his 22 pages. On NEWSARAMA, at that. You should have some ice cream and do something that will make you happier.

Also, that plot synopsis sounds dumb. :D

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Heh heh, you say it quite well. Newsarama, indeed.

Not only does he repeat every goddamn scrap of dialogue, he also seems to instruct every artist he works with to repeat the same comic image over and over and over again, sometimes tilted slightly or closed-up or pulled-away. People do not look exactly the same moment to moment, Bendis.

Urg. Yes, I should have ice cream and avoid the message boards altogether. But... but if I don't, how will people know they're wrong?! ;)

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I'm a little afraid of message boards in general, and particularly comics ones. I mean, I've met comic book fans. I am one (and I can certainly be a dismissive smartass). I saw "Comic Book Villains". It's a cruel world out there if your soul's got its underwear on outside its pants, and they don't make it easier with their painfully un-witty snarkitude.
And worst of all, they're usually wrong! The bastards!

Aw, scans_daily's okay. They can be pretty funny when they're not trying to slash everyone in fake-existence (and sometimes when they are).

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Is there anything Penny Arcade can't illuminate to the public?

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I'm sure scans_daily will one day ascend to the bottom, too.

Meaning, reach that level of wank.

So what brought this righteous rant on?

*pulls on steel-toed boots* Lemme AT 'EM!

[kali921.livejournal.com]

No greater hive of scum and fucktardery exists.

AHAHAHA! I think I just ruined my chair. That was brilliant.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

The link I posted above in the comments will show you. I make one complaint about Bendis writing Dr. Strange saying "wow" and the world goes nuts.

Nahh, scans_daily is much more of a community. Trust me, girl. It has a loooooong way to go. Besides, unlike Newsarama, they actually DON'T LIKE things like Greg Land.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

"Comic Book Villains"... what a frustrating movie. I mean, it's written by James Robinson, who as I said a couple posts ago is responsible for the "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" movie script and the shitty Batman "Face the Face" story... but he also wrote the brilliant "Starman." So he's a comic geek. Yet the movie's tone seems very anti-comics. At the end, the comic geeks destroyed themselves and the main character "grew up and discovered girls," which I found very insulting and crude. Especially coming from James fucking Robinson.

A cruel world indeed ("if your soul's got its underwear outside its pants," how poetic, I must remember to use that in my comic geek Hefner Monologue), and the only things worse than the dismissal by "normal people," are the obnoxious people of your own fandom. They give your fandom a bad name.

See, yeah, I like scans_daily for the vast majority of the time. They give me a reason to check my internet fifty times a day!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

Exactly. "Comic Book Villains" is like those threads, but in movie form. It's like those movies where the freak girl gets a twin-set makeover, but with a guy. So depressing.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh GOD, you're right!

I mean, I love me some Breakfast Club and all, but seriously Ally Sheedy was so much more awesome before her makeover!

Oh God, you nailed it. It's like Clea Duvall in The Faculty all over again!

[kali921.livejournal.com]

SO TRUE!

Word to everything you said here in this thread, with a side of whipped word sauce and word pie!

[kali921.livejournal.com]

I've read the entire thread now. I must register over there, actually.

...wait, I *am* registered for the Newsarama forums, I just never bother to post.

Uh, well, given that yet another slash snit arose on the comm today, I think it's barreling down that highway pretty fast. I disagree.

[spacechild.livejournal.com]

thats exactly how i responded.

nice, Heffie.