(no subject)

[thehefner]

Accursed class. There is no way this pantomime is going to go well. Playing a fourteen year old girl entirely in pantomime is much harder than I expected it to be! I just need to go in there and take my lumps. It's not a performance, I'm not doing this for approval. What's the worst they can do to me? ... oh hell.

Meantime, help me goof off/relieve stress with a meme, snagged from calliopes_pen:

Which fictional character would you fix me up with, if you could?

Comments

[thirdbase.livejournal.com]

play with your hair and nails and generally keep going between angsty and happy. Smooth your clothes. act childish and grown up. be bored and giggly. pop a zit.


I would fix you up with Paige Fox so that you could really get the feeling for how a 14 year old girl acts.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ok, that's good... what about a spoiled rich fourteen year old girl in a Tiffany's who wants a bracelet/earring/necklace set?

[holli.livejournal.com]

...I went to junior high with about 300 of this girl, so, you know, I might be some help.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the class but if movies and tv are any indication, people bring tomatos and lettuce so that if an actor/actress bombs, they can then chuck the produce at them as a sign of disapproval.

In answer to your question, either Wonder Woman or Zatanna..or both..cause I'm just that awesome.

[rosinslady.livejournal.com]

Pegeen Mike from _The Playboy of the Western World_, partially because of the irony of the title, partially because she would totally dig the Hefner Monologues, partially because she would give you a ding around the lughole if you broke character, and partially because she'd be a great case study on teenage girls.

[eliyes.livejournal.com]

Is it bad that my first candidate for setting you up with would be Typhoid Mary?

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Exceedingly so. ;)

[charisma18.livejournal.com]

I forget her name, but the chick from "Free Enterprise." As I recall she was the ultimate sounding board for geek opinion. :)

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I realize it's possible you have no idea who this is, but Margarita from "The Master and Margarita" by Hikhail Bulgakov. For sure. She's got a Moscow-in-the-thirties femme-fatale vibe with a silly streak, at least until Satan fucks with her and she and her silly streak go all witchy and badass on him. And she's got a thing for writers. Slight tendency to melodrama, but you could handle it.

Oh, and to be properly fourteen and properly a girl, stick your chin out while trying to look like you're not trying to look like you're trying to look cool while doing it. Think James Dean in "Rebel Without a Cause"; he nailed the fourteen-year-old girl thing.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I do know who that is, BUT I have not read it yet! I keep meaning to, but everytime I'm close, someone dissuades me and I opt instead for another book on my huge fucking reading stack! But now I have even more incentive to check it out. Any translation I should look for?

Hehe, I actually defiinitely did that. I based it on Degas' "Little Dancer, Age Fourteen," who's totally working the chin there.

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I didn't even notice that I put "Hikhail" instead of "Mikhail". But it's "Mikhail".

It's one of my favourite books. I've actually re-read it, which never happens. The Pevear and Volokhonsky translation, definitely. I've read other ones, but they all seem to think it should read like "Anna Karenina", which is wrong. It should read like it was written by John Constantine.

Haha, she is! I didn't even think of her.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Pevear and Volokhonsky! I shouldn't be surprised. They are the ONLY Dostoevsky translators I read. Have you read any of their Dostoevskys? Because of them, THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV is my favorite novel of all time.

Written by Connie, how intriguing!

[little-dinosaur.livejournal.com]

I have. They're the best. I still haven't read that one, but my friend Andres is rarin' to lend me his copy.

Oh yes. With less British slang from the eighties, but the spirit is the same.

[treyhawk.livejournal.com]

A college-aged Wednesday Addams.

Because that's a definite Hefner Monologue in the making.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Ha. Hahahahaha. Excellent.

I'm thinking of doing on Hefner Monologue book as entirely fiction. My own fanfiction, just of every mad idea and longing dream thrown in one book. And that could and so should go in there.