and what a slippery slope it is

[thehefner]

It started with a simple dream. To tell the story of what would happen if Two-Face and Typhoid Mary were to meet, and the horrible, nasty, painful, violent, bloody, just plain wrong sex they would have. But to tell this, I had to lay out my version of Harvey, and so with the encouragement of Bloo, I set out to write an entire retelling of the Two-Face origin. Somehow, short of the Hefner Monologues themselves, this has turned out to be one of the most personal things I've ever written.

And then recently, I off-handedly mentioned about how I wanted to have a Doc Holliday/Cap'n Jack Sparrow road trip written up, which disc_sophist was more than happy to oblige.I thought it would be awesome then if they were to meet up with Bub and Johnny Go.

Now, Bub and Johnny Go aren't strictly my original characters either, even though I'm taking them much farther than their original creators intended. I was already planning on telling a story of them in Maryland, encountering the crew of Catpiss the Pirate, scourge of the Chesapeake Bay. As spices are almost as precious in the post-zombie-apocalypse as they were centuries ago, the pirates are after that most valuable of booty: Old Bay Seasoning.

And along the way, Bub and Johnny are saved by a a drunken, mincing, gun-slinging, consumptive pirate dentist.

But now with my post about my super dream team of characters for an epic world-spanning fantasy adventure, ding-dang-it all, I keep going back to all the awesome potential stories and character moments that could unfold there.

Kitty Pryde and Bill the Butcher, clashing over his prejudices yet bonding on the battlefield. Doc Holliday meeting Chris Knight. Hal Jordan and Werner Herzog doing their version of the Mal/Book fireside talk in SERENITY (which is to say, more awesome). Stephen Strange using Bub as his guinea pig. Kitty riding Bub and going "WHEEE!" Johnny, Doc, Max Lord, Bill, and Hal all going drinking. Kitty laying into Otto Octavius. Otto and Oracle playing their mental game of chess. Johnny and Bub stealing the Eye of Agamotto and selling it for gin. Kitty protecting Harvey and fighting Two-Face. Doc and Bill playing poker. Stephen and Werner on a higher mental plane than the rest of us. Otto and Max going head-to-head on a lack-of-ethics-off. Teddy Roosevelt versus Galactus.

...

FOR GOD'S SAKE, PEOPLE. I HAVE THE LEAD ROLE IN FAUSTUS! I HAVE AN ENTIRE FUCKING ONE-MAN SHOW ON THE WAY! I'M GOING THROUGH THE FINAL REVISIONS OF A BOOK THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE OF INTEREST TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC! I HAVE A LOW-PAYING JOB AT A COMIC STORE! I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE! I HAVE A LIFE!!!

Dear God, now I'm going to have to write for DC and/or Marvel one of these days. At least there I might be able to actually tell a handful of those possible pairings without it being a waste of my time.




... must... resist... urge... to... drabble...!

Comments

[kwsapphire.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you've got a good life, even if it's a little overwhelming ...

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

I might die early from stress, exhausting and burning myself out like Klaus Kinski, but at least I'll leave behind a beautiful body... of work.

[gnort.livejournal.com]

"Kitty riding Bub and going "WHEEE!"

That's just gross, pervert. You should choose your words better when dealing with immature people who still laugh when somebody says "duty", more specifically, me.

ps, I know you didn't really mean it that way i'm just being a smartass.

you get scornful Kitty icon

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

... I don't know what I'd do if I were having sex with a girl and she went "WHEEE!"

Re: you get scornful Kitty icon

[gnort.livejournal.com]

I'd be either really pleased with myself to elicit such a reaction or just be confused as hell and start laughing.

Oh if you do that story where they encounter Catpiss about the Old Bay you must MUST include the phrase "the spice must flow". It doesn't matter in what context or who says it but it must be said.

[themadhatter26.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I REALLY want to see Teddy Roosevelt fight Galactus.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

What warm-blooded human being wouldn't?!

[morganashkevron.livejournal.com]

Should you ever find a spare hour or two, I recommend picking up Gideon Defoe's The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab (or any of the other books in the Pirates series). It's the only book I've ever read where a bumbling pirate captain accidentally drops a ham in Moby Dick's blowhole, suffocating him to death.

[thehefner.livejournal.com]

Oh aye, I'm well aware of it, but I just haven't checked it out yet. Rest assured, it's on my list (but I gotta get through stuff like HOUSE OF LEAVES and THE BOOK OF FATE first). Things like give me hope that maybe somewhere, somehow, there actually is a publisher that might be interested in a BUB AND JOHNNY GO novel.